Hold me tight
by BleedingxxHeart
Summary: What if Bella had questioned the depth of her feelings for Jacob in New Moon? Edward still comes back, Bella is still in love with him but in Eclipse she realized she loves Jacob just as much...  Rated M for language and lemons in later chapters
1. Chapter 1

**A/N- Hey guys! I'm writing a team Jacob story because I was unsatisfied with the way thing turned out in Breaking Dawn. I started the books mid-New Moon and am carrying it through the important scenes of Eclipse before starting a Jacob-oriented Breaking Dawn. I think it's important to show how Bella gradually changed her mind and how her feeling for Jake changed so bear with me through the rewrite scenes.**

**Twilight belongs to SM, I'm just playing with it for a while! **

**BPOV**

I barely finished doodling one line of diamonds before I heart a sharp rap on my window. I looked up expecting to see Billy.

It was Jake but he wasn't the same Jacob I knew.

His beautiful hair was, just, gone. He was huge too, even taller than the last time I had seen him. But the physical changes were insignificant. He was looking at me with open hostility and anger radiated off of him in waves. His innocent eyes were now cold and unforgiving. There was darkness in Jacob now, like my sun had imploded.

"What do you want, Bella?" His tone was harsh and it snapped me out of my daze. I noticed, for the first time, he wasn't alone. Four boys were standing just behind Jacob, watching us with guarded expression. They all look like brothers with their dark skin, large stature, cropped hair and angry scowls. Except one.

Sam Uley wore a calm mask and I felt anger burst, red hot, inside me. I shoved open the car door and stepped into the rain before I realized what I was doing and pushed past a startled Jacob.

"Bella?" His voice was unsure but he looked like he didn't want to physically restrain me. As if he couldn't bear the thought of _touching_ me.

All I could think about was making Sam pay for this. For whatever he had done to Jacob because it was obvious there was something _seriously_ wrong with him.

"_What did you do_?" I shouted stopping just in front of him. "_What the hell did you do to him_?" I planted both my hands on Sam's chest and pushed with all the force I had. He stumbled back a step but I thought it was more because of shock then my strength. Sam's face was incredulous and I saw one boy step towards me in fury. I pivoted to face him, wishing I was strong enough to hurt him. To hurt all of them for what they did.

As the boy stalked towards me, I felt a hard, burning steel band wrap around my waist. I was practically lifted on the ground as Jacob jerked me away. "Paul, stop! Calm down!" I was suddenly behind Jacob with inexplicable speed. The boy named Paul was visibly shaking and I felt a trill of fear. _What was wrong with him_? Two others grabbed him, and I realized one was Embry. They began pulling him towards the Black's house.

Sam glared at Jake, then at me, before nodding once and turning to follow the others.

Some of the tension went out of his shoulders and he turned to face me.

**JPOV**

I felt a circus of emotions raging through me as I turned to look at her. Her hair was soaked from the rain and sticking to her face and neck. Her small body was quivering from the cold. Her eyes were as deep as I remembered and extremely sad, with small sparks of her anger still glinting in them. I wanted to hold her. _God, I had missed her._

"What do you want, Bella?" I asked again in the same detached voice. It wasn't what I wanted to say but I forced the words out. Her shoulders straightened and her chin jutted up a notch. Hell, she wasn't going to make this easy. Without another word she turned on her heel and marched into the woods. With a mixture of anticipation and dread, I followed.

I was content to trail behind her; happy to have her this close, even if we weren't speaking. Even if the weight of everything unsaid hung around us like a fog. I smiled a bit at the way she tripped over every rock and branch. The expression was so foreign now. I hadn't smiled in weeks.

Deciding I had procrastinated enough, I lengthened my stride and braced myself to face her.

"Let's get this over with," Bella said nothing, just waited for my explanation. She deserved one, I thought bitterly, but I had none to offer. So I'd lie if I had to. It was for the best.

"It's not like you think, I was wrong about them. Sam's trying to help me as much as he can. It's not a gang- exactly." Great, I was making a mess of this already. I fixed my eyes over Bella's shoulder, not trusting myself to look at her.

"What's going on Jacob? You know you can talk to me, right?" Her voice was strained, desperate. I was hurting her. I was breaking my promise. _I hated myself_. It felt like Bella was my own personal voodoo doll; with every needle I stuck into her I felt the knife-like pain pierce my own skin.

"I can't. I wish I could. I'm sorry." It wasn't enough; it was a pathetic apology that could never make up for the betrayal. I knew she could hear the pain in my voice, it was almost tangible.

I finally met her questioning gaze and I wished I hadn't. She stepped towards me, arms wide as if to embrace me. I flashed back to the last time she had done that and how everything hadn't seemed so bad anymore. How she had soothed the pain with the simplicity of her affection and closeness.

I longed for that. I wanted to let her hold me and let her ease the ache. I wanted her to reassure me that it would be alright. That she was there for me, no matter what. But she couldn't fix it, I reminded myself and I couldn't let her be with me. I was a monster; I could hurt her.

I cringed away from her touch as if would burn. "Don't touch me."

"Is Sam catching?" She asked in an injured voice, trying to surreptitiously wipe away her tears. She was crying. _God, I really fucking hated myself_.

"Stop blaming Sam!" I practically shouted at her. I wanted to get out of here. I wanted to run out of this forest and just keep running. My hands, arms and shoulders were shaking. I wasn't out of control yet but it was close.

"Then who should I blame?" She was sarcastic now and it was less difficult to control myself when she didn't sound so needy. I took a deep breath and resigned myself to this, to the fact that she was better off without me.

"You don't want to hear that." I still couldn't believe it myself. _Vampires_. What kind of world was this where nightmares exist? And how could she do it? How could she knowingly love one of those filthy parasites?

"Jacob Black, I want to know, and I want to know _now._" She actually stomped her foot. I would have smiled because I would miss that; miss her with all of her fiery, stubborn determination wrapped in a harmless package.

"Blame those bloodsuckers you love so much if you want someone to blame!" I was angry now. It was easier than hurting. I was angry at myself, at the vampires, at her, at the world. It wasn't fair. Where was _my_ choice? What about what _I_ wanted?

She recoiled and her face was blank with shock. Then as the words sunk in she tried to school her expression into one of mockery. Her poker face really sucked.

"Please, Jake, don't tell me you're listening to Billy's superstitions now, are you?" I ignored her because we both knew she was lying.

"Forget it, let's head back. There's nothing else to say." I walked swiftly past her and I heard her stumbling after me, desperate again.

"Wait, I need you Jacob, I thought we were friends!" She was digging the knife deeper, twisting it cruelly. I didn't turn around, just kept walking.

"We were." _I'm such an ass._

"But you don't need friends now?" She laughed without humor.

"Look, Bella, I'm sorry." The words sounded numb, detached as if someone else was saying them. "I can't be friends with you anymore."

"Are you-are you breaking up with me?" _Ouch. She's not playing fair._ "I mean, you're my best friend, and I know things haven't been the way you wanted but…" She took a deep breath as if making a decision. "But I'll try now, just don't leave me." Her words were frantic; pleading. She all but dragged the words out of herself. "I'll try harder now."

Agony.

I wanted this; I had never wanted anything more in my life. And it was in my reach, just a few steps away. I could kiss Bella right now and she wouldn't turn me away. And then she would finally be _my_ Bella. My hands shook, not from anger but from longing. I lifted a hand as if to reach for her but the sight of it, quivering brought me back to reality.

I was a monster. I could hurt her. She would be disgusted if she knew my secret.

I could feel the beast in me rearing up. This was too much for me.

"Don't think like that Bella, this isn't your fault. This one's all on me." With that, I turned away from the only person making this pain worthwhile and ran back to the house.

I made it through the front door with my whole frame shaking, blurring. As soon as it shut behind me, I headed for the back door. I ignored the looks from my pack, who were lounging in the kitchen and living room. I was pulling off my clothes as I went. I wanted to shift, to make this agony a little less intense. I hit the ground at a run after changing and just kept going, not caring where I ended up.

"_You okay_?" Embry's voice drifted through my mind. I could feel Sam's presence too. Jared and Paul joined moments later. "_Jake_?"

I replayed the moments with Bella in harsh detail. The way her eyes, deep and endless, had pleaded with me, then flickered out and died when she realized I was leaving her. Zombie-Bella was back, and I was the one to blame.

Then I saw her telling me she would try, stepping forward and offering me everything I had ever wanted. She was beautiful, even soaked from the rain, even puffy-eyed from crying. I let out a whimper.

"_Oh._" It was Paul. He sounded like he actually felt bad for me. Embry started to comfort me but Sam stopped him. Nothing would make me feel better but time, he said. He was wrong though. I knew only one thing would ease this pain.


	2. Run away with me

**A/N- Hey readers, this isn't my best chapter because I hate rewriting Meyers words so this is going to be the last chapter with a lot of Bella's POV, I'm going to do mostly Jake afer this because it'll be less repetitive. Review please!**

**BPOV**

The hole in my chest was back and _burning_.

Jake had nearly sewn it up tight, so it might heal over in time. But he had just torn it right back open again when he rejected me today. It hurt worse than ever. And now he had punched his own hole in my chest so I felt like a piece of Swiss cheese.

_Not as bad_, I told myself. _Not as bad as the first one_.

But in some ways, it was so much worse.

Maybe the love I felt for Jacob wasn't been as obsessive or as passionate as the love I'd had for Edward. But it was been real. Jake and I had worked for that love and leaned on it and let it grow. We had taken the time to get to know each other. It was comfortable and safe and warm. Then it had been ripped out from under me with no warning.

At least, with Edward I had expected it.

I sat in my truck until Billy told me to go home, that Charlie was waiting for me. Without another word, I had driven up the highway without any conscious thought. Before I knew it, I was parked in the driveway and my Dad was opening up the door.

"Bella?" He called as I made my way out of the rain. "Billy called, said you and Jake had a fight?"

He could see me now and his curious concern turned into horrified recognition. To him, I probably looked the same as I did in those zombie months. I couldn't find the enthusiasm in me to convince him otherwise.

"That's not exactly what happened." I explained to Charlie of how Jacob told me that we couldn't be friends because Sam Uley said so.

"You really think there's something wrong with that Uley kid, Bells?" I just nodded. I had seen it. And Jacob had been so scared that he was next. I had promised that everything would be okay and I had been unable to stop this.

_But there had been no signs_! How could I have stopped something that I didn't know was happening? If only Jake had come to me, talked to me first. We could have figured this out before it got so out of hand.

A new pain started; a protective one. He was so young and he had been so happy and carefree. He hadn't smiled once when I had been there. Jacob, whom I had never seen really upset or angry had been _yelling_ at me, _close to tears_. I wanted to drive back to La Push, put him in my truck and take him far away from anything that could hurt him.

I showered quickly, craving the warmth. I felt so cold, so alone. I didn't want to go back to the way I had been. I liked feeling alive, feeling happy. But without my sun, it didn't seem possible. I dressed in my pajamas, wanting to sleep but fearing to. How bad would the nightmares be? And now I had nothing to look forward to, no reason to stop the screaming.

Sleep came in fits and starts only after I had cried myself dry. I was sleeping lightly until a noise woke me. It was a scratching noise. Like fingernails on glass.

In an instant I was off my bed, cowering away from the window. Victoria. She was back for me. Laurent had told her the Cullens were gone and now she was here for her revenge. My breaths were fast, shallow.

_Maybe she'll stop with me. Please, let her stop with me and leave Charlie. How will I be able to keep quiet so he doesn't come running?_

"Bella! Psst, Bella!" It was Jake.

Shaking and wobbling with relief, I moved to the window. My jaw dropped in shock.

Jacob was balancing precariously on one of the branches of Charlie's tree. His weight had caused the tree to bend towards the house and now he was level with my window and swearing profusely as the branches cut and scraped him.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm trying to keep my promise!" He whisper-shouted as he swung his weight towards the house again.

"When did you promise to kill yourself by falling out of Charlie's tree?" He snorted, un-amused.

"Get out of the way. I'm coming in."

"Jake! Don't" But it was too late and I bit back a scream knowing he would either fall to his death or maim himself on the wooden siding.

He swung into the room easily and landed with a soft thud. We both waited in silence to see if Charlie had woken but we heard his loud snoring. A cocky grin split across his face. It wasn't _my_ smile though, it was too sarcastic; a bitter mockery of his old sincerity.

This was just too much for me. I had cried myself to sleep over this boy and had a painful new hole in chest because of his rejection.

"Get out!" I yelled in a furious whisper pushing with all my force against his chest, trying to move him.

"Wha-, no! I came to apologize." His face was blank with shock.

"Well, I don't _accept_!" I was trying to push him back out the window. He didn't budge. I was uncomfortable with having my hands on his bare chest so I dropped them back to my sides.

Suddenly, all those sleepless night caught up with me and I was just exhausted. I swayed on me feet and felt Jake's hands grab my arms.

"Bella?" He directed me to my bed and pushed me into a sitting position. "Are you okay?" His voice was concerned. I looked up at his beloved face with tears still glistening on my cheeks.

"Why on earth would I be okay, Jacob?" Anguish and regret replaces some of the anger on his face.

"Right." He plopped down on the bed next to me. "I-I'm sorry about today, Bella. That was- that was awful."

"Why are you here Jake? You know I don't want apologies." I stared at him wishing for…I don't know. Wishing that things were different; that we could just be two normal teens with no gangs or vampire ex-boyfriends. I remembered what I had said to him, that if he stayed with me that I would try. Is that why he was here? Could I do that? Even though I had said so earlier, it had been out of desperation.

I would do it, I realized. If it meant I got to keep Jake, then I would do it. So I scooted closer to him and placed my hand in his. He didn't pull away this time but tightened his fingers around mine.

"I want to tell you Bells, but I _literally_ can't. Have you ever had a secret that you couldn't tell anyone?" I turned my face away from him. Yes, I had kept the Cullen's secret. A secret that Jake seemed to know all about now. What had happened to make him believe the legends now? He seemed to take my silence as answer enough.

"See? Can't you understand that I might have the same kind of secret? You can't imagine how tight I'm bound."

I didn't like the sound of that. As if he didn't have a choice. I felt the anger rearing up again. I rose to my knees on the bed and brushed the hair off his forehead. He was so young and the thought of him hurting caused me almost physical pain.

"What if we run away, Jake, just you and me?"

**JPOV**

She did it again. Bella laid out everything I could ever want like a buffet in front of a starving man; and it was mine for the taking. All I had to do was say yes…

_I can't,_ I was annoyed with myself for even considering leaving my responsibility to the pack and the tribe but, _God how I wanted to_.

"This isn't something I can just run away from, Bells." I looked up, meeting her deep, brown eyes. "But I would run away with you…if I could."

Her hand brushing through my hair was sweet torture. She was so close, her skin practically touching mine as we faced each other on her bed. My whole body was screaming at me to close the distance between us and press my lips to hers. I wanted so bad to hold her against me and reassure myself that she accepted me, despite what I had become.

Would she pull away? Looking at her now, I didn't think she would. She _had_ made a promise to me today. That she would _try_ if I stayed with her. And here I am, staying with her. But it wasn't fair because I was still keeping a secret and I didn't think I could take it if she regretted it later once she knew…

So, it was settled. I would make a move once she figured out the truth because she had to figure it out eventually, right? What if she didn't though? The Alpha order kept me from explaining but what if I hinted? God, this was so frustrating, especially because _she already knows_! With a burst of hope, I grabbed her small face in my hands and bent until we were eye-to-eye.

"You already know this Bella!"

"Know what?" _Man, she must really be tired_, I though guiltily.

"My secret! I told you that day at the beach. Do you remember the st-" My air cut off like I was choking and I gagged on my own words.

"The stories, the Quileute legends, about the Cold Ones." Bella finished for me. Ugh, of course she remembered that one. I tried not to let the disgust show on my face. I urged her on.

"Do you remember the other stories, the ones I started with?" He brow was knit in concentration, looking hopeless.

"I don't know Jake, I'm no good at this tonight! Maybe tomorrow when I can think straight." She sighed and ran a frustrated hand through her hair. I mirrored the gesture and nodded.

"Okay, get some rest Bells, I'll need you firing on all pistons tomorrow. Come see me if you figure it out!" I walked towards the window as a thought occurred to me. Maybe she wouldn't want to see me after she figured it out. "That is if-if you still want to."

"Why wouldn't I want to?"

"I can think of a reason. But just do me a favor and just call if it's like that, okay?" The torture of not knowing would kill me and I'd rather know I was being rejected than wondering about it.

"That won't happen-" Bella started to protest but as much as I wanted to be reassured, she had no way of knowing what she was promising. I cut her off.

"Just call if you don't want to see me." I stepped one foot over the window but her voice stopped me.

"Oh Jake, just go out the front door, Charlie won't catch you." She was right about that but it had seemed more convenient. I sighed but did as she asked. As I passed her, sitting on the bed, I realized it might be the _last time_ I saw her. I panicked and reached a hand out to her. She took it without hesitating and I pulled her into a tight hug, burying my face in her hair.

"I'm sorry, Jacob." She whispered it as she nuzzled my neck. It took me a second to clear my head because _Bella Swan_ was willingly showing affection towards me, but I soon processed her words.

"For what Bells?"

"For not being a good friend. You've been keeping me safe and whole and happy and I promised to do the same for you. I didn't and I'm so sorry." When she spoke her lips moved tauntingly against my neck, making my mind cloud. But her words cut deep.

"No, Bells, no this isn't your fault and trust me when I say there is nothing you could have done, nothing I could have done to stop this. I'm the one who should be sorry for breaking _my_ promise. I promised to never hurt you and here I go, already hurting you."

I felt her lips curve against my skin and she squeezed me tighter for a moment before letting go. I reluctantly released her but didn't move away.

"You're my best friend, Jake. No more apologies for either of us. We'll figure this out and everything will be okay. We'll be okay." I gave her a smile, a real smile and for a minute, I actually believed her. "Goodnight Jacob, see you tomorrow."

**BPOV**

Jake left out the front door, avoiding all the creaky steps on the way. When did he get so graceful? I laid back in bed, willing sleep to come and not being able to stop wondering about why I had gotten a tingling sensation whenever Jacob had touched me.


	3. Take me for what I am

**A/N- ****IMPORTANT!**** THERE WILL BE NO SUCH THING AS IMPRINTING IN THIS STORY!**

**I had always hated the concept of it so I'm just going to cut it out of the story completely!**

**Disclaimer: Twilight belongs to SM; I'm just irrevocably obsessed!**

**JPOV**

I walked to the beach through the familiar trail feeling nervous, anxious, excited and mostly scared. Bella had stopped by and told Billy she would be down at the beach, waiting for me. Apparently, she had made it clear to my Dad that she knew exactly what was going on. She wanted to warn me about the hunters that were searching for massive wolves. If she was trying to warn me then she still cared, right?

I saw her even though it was still dark, the sun not making an appearance yet this morning. She was sitting on our tree, with her knees curled to her chest and her arms looped around them. Her dark hair was loose and she was impatiently pushing strands away from her face. I couldn't see her expression but her body language seemed nervous. I stopped a foot away and she still hadn't noticed my approach.

"Hey, Bells." She jumped a foot, as I had expected and shot around to face me. I could see her face now and I examined her features carefully.

It would have hurt less if she stabbed me.

Bella was upset, angry, _revolted_ and scared. She stood with her fists clenched at her sides. She couldn't accept this, I realized in a panic. She didn't want to be my friend anymore. She thought I was a freak. She was leaving; _please don't let her be leaving me now!_

"You could have just called." My voice was acidic and I didn't care. My arms were shaking and I didn't care. The beast inside me was rearing up and I didn't care.

"I know." She nodded, "I thought it would be better in person."

"Better?" I snorted, "Oh, yeah much better." _This way_ I get my hopes up and have them crushed, _this way _I get to see how much I revolt you, _this way_ I have to watch you walk away.

"Jake, I came to warn you…"

"About the hunters, yeah we already know. They're just making things more difficult. They'll start disappearing soon too." My whole frame was shaking now, blurring a bit. I took a deep breath and thought of the way Sam's fiancée looked with her scars. It calmed me down immediately.

"How can you feel that way? You know these people, Charlie is out there." Her voice was pale with revulsion and I whirled to look at her, my anger back full force.

"What more can we do?" I was pacing now, wanting to scream, wanting to shift, wanting her to take it all back and open her arms like she had before. Wanting her to tell me that she loved me…no matter what I was.

"Can't you try to _not_ be a werewolf?" It was weird hearing her acknowledge it out loud as if it were a completely normal thing to find out about.

"It's not a lifestyle choice, Bella!" _God, did she really think I'd live like this, if I had a choice?_ "Besides why would that help if you're worried about people dying?"

"You make no sense." She was shaking her head, backing away from me slightly. I saw the trace of fear in her eyes and hated it, hated her for it but mostly hated myself for it.

"You're such a hypocrite, Bella! There you sit _terrified_ of me-!"

"How does being afraid of a monster make me a hypocrite?" She was yelling back now and it just fueled my own rage that was causing my whole frame to shake violently again.

"Ugh! Listen to yourself. What, am I not the right brand of monster for you? Am I not as good as those bloodsuckers of yours?" I was being cruel now, trying to hurt her.

"No, you're not!" She screamed right in my face. I winced, not from her anger but from the words. They cut deep. She took a deep breath than spoke more calmly. "Is it really necessary to kill people, Jacob? I mean if vampires can find a way to survive without hurting people than can't you try it too?"

_Wait, what?_

She though I was killing those hikers. _That_ was why she was disgusted? I looked at her, daring to hope a little bit.

"You're only mad because I kill people? That's the only reason?"

"Isn't that reason enough?" She was looking at me like I was crazy. But she hadn't run away. She had come here to warn me, to keep me safe, even though she thought I was a murderer. If that wasn't love then I didn't know what was.

In two steps, I had her in my arms. I squeezed her harder than I should have out of relief and happiness. I didn't want to let go. "You honestly don't care that I morph into a giant dog?"

"No, Jake…it's not what you are…it's what you do that…bothers me. Jake, can't…breath!" I finally put her down and looked into her chocolate brown eyes, smiling widely. I couldn't stop smiling.

"Bells, I'm not a murderer." She took one look at my eyes and instantly believed me. With a smile of her own she launched back into my arms. She hooked her arms around my neck and clung on desperately. I held onto her, but not as tightly as I wanted to, afraid she would pull away again.

She didn't pull away at all. And her position, standing on her tip-toes, just barely being able to get her arms around me, made her press every inch of herself against me. It was heaven. I tightened my arms around her, testing the waters, and nuzzled my face into her hair. I kept expecting her to pull away or stiffen or say my name in that disapproving tone.

I decided to push the boundaries a little more. _Hell, it's not like she's never rejected me before_. I loosened my arms from around her and slowly traced them up and down her back. I hesitated, waiting for her protest but there was nothing. Feeling confident, I traced my hands to her sides and lightly caressed her waist. Her breathing hitched a little and I knew I was breathing a little too fast as well. Might as well go for it, I thought and moved my hands over the curve of her hips.

She gasped and started to pull out of my grasp but I held on. With a quick motion I picked her up and sat down on our tree-bench with her on my lap. I kept my hands on her waist so she knew I would behave. "I missed you, Bells."

Her rigid posture melted when I whispered that to her. She cuddled in against my chest and I rested my chin on top of her head. "I missed you too Jake. I wish you had come to me sooner."

"I was dangerous; Bells, uncontrollable and I could have hurt you if I got too mad." It hurt to think that I wasn't good for her when she was so good for me.

"Before…when you were shaking?" I felt ashamed now of how I had so easily lost control. But I hadn't phased, I reminded myself. She would never make me more upset than she did today so I knew I'd be able to handle it.

"Yeah, that was stupid of me. I just got so mad that you wouldn't be able to deal with this. That I was losing you too for this stupid werewolf gene."

"Wait," Bella seemed to have just realized something. "If you guys aren't killing those hikers, then who is? Is there really a bear?"

"Bella, we only protect people from one thing; our only enemy." She seemed to take that in and I saw the exact moment when it clicked. Comprehension dawned on her but it quickly turned to panic. She unknowingly clenched a fist in my shirt.

"Laurent," she whispered.

"Who?" I whispered back without knowing why we were whispering. She shook herself out of her daze and stared at me.

"You know, in the meadow, you were there…" She was trying to sort through the chaos in her head.

"The black-haired leech? We took care of him. He wasn't your friend or anything was he?" I knew he couldn't have been, he had been trying to kill her or bite her or whatever. There was no way they were friends.

"Friend? No, no Jake I'm so relieved! I've been up every night waiting for him to come after me and just praying he'd stop with me and leave Charlie…" _Ouch_, there goes that voodoo stab again. Her pain is my pain.

"Awe, Bells! You don't have to be worrying; we've been watching your place and making sure no bloodsucker gets to you or Charlie. I wish you had said something so I could have eased your mind."

"You weren't around," She said distractedly, probably not meaning to take a dig at me. But it stung like one all the same. "Wait, you said you're watching the house _now_, if Laurent is dead then there's someone else causing problems _now_?" Her voice was tight, worried and I wondered why. Did she honestly think I'd let something happen to her?

"Yeah we thought his mate might want to fight us because in our legends they usually get pretty pissed when we kill their mates, but this one just keeps retreating when we get close. She seems to be avoiding any fight with us. I wonder why? What does she want?"

I hadn't noticed that Bella stopped breathing. She slipped forward and I barely caught her before she face-planted into the rocks. Her stomach was contracting in dry-heaves and I saw sheen of sweat breaking out on her forehead.

"Bella, what's wrong?" I was frantic, not knowing what to do, not knowing what was wrong with her. I heard her mumble what sounded like 'Victoria'. I draped her across my lap awkwardly as I tried to balance her limp weight. "Bells, tell me what to do? Do you need a doctor?"

"I'm not sick," she managed out once she got her stomach under control. "I'm scared." She was looking a little bit better now, still pale though…and still terrified. She moved as close to me as she could get, as if she could just climb inside of me and disappear. _What the hell?_

"What happened?" the voice came from behind me and I gave a startled jump. I hadn't even heard the pack approach because I had been so wrapped up in Bella. Now three sets of eyes stared at me with disapproval and shot looks of concern at Bella as if I'd done some damage. Paul just looked pissed as usual.

"She knows, Sam." I stated unnecessarily. He nodded and I tried to ignore the comments coming from the other pack members about loyalty and responsibility.

"And look how it worked out for you!" Paul sneered at me in disgust. "You tell her what you are and she passes out. Good job, kid. You're a real winner." I wanted to attack Paul but realized I was holding a terrified Bella in my lap.

"She doesn't care that I'm a werewolf. I told her about the red-haired leech and she went catatonic." I brushed a hand over her hair and she sat up a bit straighter. The pack members were now looking at her with an intense concentration, I didn't like it. I was about to tell them to back off when Bells moved off my lap and stood to face them on shaky legs.

"Her name's Victoria and Laurent wasn't her mate. They were just old friends." She stated, annoyed by being written off so completely. I watched her, worrying that her legs would give out. I glanced at the pack and they seemed to be thinking the same thing, edging closer to catch her if she fell. Her words seemed to get everyone's attention.

Did Bella know what the red-headed leech wants? Could she answer the question the pack had been wondering about for weeks? I wanted to pick her up and twirl her around! This would be huge information! Not to mention, it would get me off the hook for telling an outsider because she'd be helping us, like a spy!

"How do you know?" Sam asked skeptical yet hopeful. Bella was still a bit unsteady but she drew herself up to look him in the eye. I felt a surge of pride.

"The Cullen's got her mate last year, his name was James." Sam was looking at her with a new respect and he seemed to reevaluate her worth. Yes! I was _so_ off the hook, thank you, Bells!

"Do you know what she wants?" Sam asked her. Bella nodded and the shaking started again.

"She wants me. She wants to kill me." The pack erupted in question to each other, to Bella but I heard none of it. In a second, I was off the tree-bench and striding to her. I caught her arms and whirled her to face me. I didn't know if it was her or me that was quivering and I didn't really care.

"What do you mean?" I practically yelled at her, glaring. Why? Why did Bella always have to be in the middle? Why couldn't she ever just be safe? When she winced, I realized I was gripping her too tightly and let go only to pull her against me in a tight hug.

"Quiet!" Sam's voice put an immediate stop to the chaos and everyone was watching us again, waiting anxiously. "Why would she want to kill you, Bella?"

"Edward killed James last year," Bella's voice was muffled against my chest but I wasn't inclined to let go. I didn't think I could. Everyone here had super-sensitive hearing anyways. "She was…pissed off… but she thought it would be better…fairer to kill me, you know, mate-for-mate." Her voice was wobbling as she tried to sound in control.

I wanted to pick her up, run home and lock her in my room where I knew she'd be safe. But, of course, that was irrational so I struggled to even my breathing and control the shaking.

"Jake, you might want to step away from her, you know, just in case…" It was Jared and he was watching nervously as I tried to control myself.

"I wouldn't hurt her," I protested but released Bella anyways and took a few steps back until I could sink down on the tree again. Bella still hadn't moved.

"I apologize for all the questions, Bella, but we're just trying to understand so we can end this as quickly and neatly as possible." Sam told her, gentler than I thought he was capable of.

"I know. I'm alright now; it just sort of took me by surprise. It's not like I didn't know it would happen eventually. Ask away." Sam's eyebrows rose in surprise, he had probably expected her to pass out or start crying. I mean, she _did_ have a crazed vampire after her. Even Paul wore an expression of grudging respect for her.

"Okay, so first off, why did the Cullens kill this James?"

"James was trying to kill me," Bella stated simply and everyone's jaws dropped…again. Why was everyone trying to kill her? "It was like a game for him. He's known as a tracker and I presented a new challenge, I guess, because the…Cullens…would try to protect me." She turned to look at me again. "Remember when I was in the hospital down in Phoenix?"

I was shaking again, harder than before because this was too much. It hurt just to imagine it. "He got that close?" I managed to croak out between pants.

"He got very close," she murmured to herself as she stroked the scar on her wrist. She probably hadn't meant for us to hear her but that's what you get for hanging out with werewolves. Sam's eyes zoomed in on it, as did the rest of the packs'.

"Is that…?" Paul exclaimed, stepping forward grabbing Bella's hand and examining it. He gasped and dropped it like he had been burned.

"Yes, it's what you think it is. James bit me but Edward sucked the venom out, you know, like with a rattlesnake?" She was avoiding eye contact now, afraid of how we would react. I was quivering violently now and I didn't want to phase in front of Bella but it was inevitable now. I was picturing Bella hurt; bleeding. I was picturing her writhing in the agony I knew accompanied a vampire bite. I was picturing her with red eyes and cold skin… I sprinted up the beach, without looking back and had barely made it into the woods and taken off my jeans before I fell to the ground and shifted.

**BPOV**

I watched Jacob disappear with a sinking heart. He must be disgusted or something, why else would he have run off, shaking like that? I was about to fall apart now because he had been the only think keeping me together. A single tear slipped down my cheek before I turned back to the boys, er, wolves.

"Is he… will he come back?" I asked in a voice that cracked. "I mean is he okay?" They laughed at me like I had just told a good joke.

"He's fine," Sam answered and got back to business. "So, how did you know that Victoria would be after you?"

"I didn't until I talked to Laurent. You know the vampire from the meadow?" At their nod, I continued. "He said that I was…lucky…he had found me first. He said that Victoria wanted to kill me herself but that she wanted to…take her…time doing…it." I swallowed hard and met their gazes. They were horrified and disgusted. The silence stretched on for an immeasurable minute.

"Thank God Jake wasn't here to hear that part." One boy said and I recognized him as Embry. I managed to give him a smile and he returned it warmly.

"Let's go to Emily's, we have more to talk about. Jared go fetch Jake."

The boy named Jared unbuttoned his pants mid-run, stepped out of them and exploded into a giant wolf. Everyone looked at me to see how I would respond.

It took me a moment to collect myself and I took a few deep breaths.

"Who's afraid of the Big, Bad Wolf?" I joked and smiled weakly. They erupted into fits of laughter and I recognized a look of acceptance in their eyes.


	4. Can I keep you?

**A/N- Sorry this took longer to put up. I've been kind of discouraged about the lack of reveiws. So, if you do like it than pleasepleaseplease review. Even if it's just a short one! Anyways, I'm done whining and this is the first chapter where I wasn't rewriting SM's scenes. I liked doing this better so for the most part this is how I'm going to write from now on. Happy reading!**

**BPOV**

Emily's house was small but cozy and it seemed that the boys all thought of it as home. They walked in without asking and plopped down around the kitchen table. A girl I assumed to be Emily turned around and beamed a smile at them as they came in and I was momentarily stunned at how pretty she was. She had the dark skin of a Quileute and eyes so dark they looked black on either side of her flawless face. When he eyes landed on me her smile faltered.

"And who is this?" Her tone wasn't unkind but it wasn't welcoming either. Her eyes ran over me, sizing me up and I shifted uncomfortably.

"Bella Swan, of course!" Embry said in between mouthfuls of whatever he was eating. Clearly, I had been a topic of conversation around here and I wasn't sure how I felt about that.

"Ah, so you're the vampire girl." Her tone held a trace of mockery that put me on edge. Who was she to judge me? She didn't even know me!

"Guess so. And you're the wolf girl?" My voice was full of challenge although I was in no mood for a confrontation. To my surprise her perfect face dissolved into a smile and she laughed.

"Guess so. Want a muffin?" I nodded and accepted what smelled like a delicious blueberry muffin. God, these people could be so weird. Not that I was one to talk. Besides, I had always preferred the abnormal. Clearly.

Just then, Sam walked in and moved to Emily to give her a loving kiss. I looked away in agony; this show of utter devotion was too much for my shattered heart. I heard Paul make a gagging noise at them and with a laugh they finally broke apart. I hoped nobody noticed my momentary lapse.

"Okay, Bella. Take a seat and enjoy you're muffin. We can't finish the meeting until Jared gets back with Jake anyways. They should be here by now, what's taking so long?"

"It's probably taking Jacob a while to calm down. Especially after he heard the rest of Bella's story in Jared's mind." I stared at Embry blankly. Jake could read minds…? Vaguely, I realized I had dropped my muffin and managed a stupid "wha?"

"Oh shit, Jake didn't tell you about that?" Embry looked at me regretfully. At the negative shake of my head, he continued. "When we're in wolf form we can sort of read each others' minds." I sighed in relief. That wasn't really weird, it sounded kind of convenient.

"Oh, okay." I nodded that I understood and they all just stared at me blankly. "What? Do I have something in my teeth?" My hand came up to cover my mouth and Paul snorted.

"That doesn't freak you out at all? That we read each other's minds." Paul seemed skeptical, like I would run away screaming at any moment.

"No. I mean isn't that kind of necessary to communicate if you can't just talk to each other as wolves? Besides, you're not the first people I've known who could do that." All three sets of dark eyes widened and they opened their mouths to speak but just then the door burst open and Jared and Jacob walked in. Jake's eyes immediately went to me and the corner of his mouth twitched up into a smile.

"Hey, Bells!" He greeted me loudly as he snagged two muffins and was completely oblivious to the silent tension that had just taken over the room. He moved to stand behind me but the small kitchen was so crowded it had gotten difficult to fit everyone.

"Let's move this to the living room where there is more space and Bella can explain her last comment." Sam's voice sounded ominous, like he expected horrible news. I was just dreading having to talk about the family who had left me behind. I didn't know how this would affect me but I doubted it would be good.

**JPOV **

It felt good to run. I ran as fast as I could, trying to burn off some of my anger and impotence. I wanted to kill the Cullens for this. Why did they have to go and involve Bella in all this vampire crap? If they had just left her alone or stayed away from Forks then she wouldn't have been almost killed God knows how many times. And now she was in danger again, _because of them_.

On top of feeling angry, I felt ashamed. She had been struggling with keeping herself together while talking to the guys (who she recently found out were all werewolves) and I left her. Just up and walked away because I hadn't been strong enough to control myself.

I didn't deserve Bella. Not that I hadn't already figured that out. I mean I'm a monster and could hurt her if I got too mad when she was around. She shouldn't bother with me. In fact, if I had any sense of honor I would send her away.

But I wouldn't. I couldn't. I would never be strong enough to tell Bella to go. In fact, I doubted I'd be strong enough to let her walk away if she _wanted_ to. The thought made me frantic. _Calm_, I told myself, _she doesn't want to walk away_.

And that was how I rationalized why I should get to keep her. Because she seemed to need me as desperately as I needed her. And how could I be saving her if I was hurting her? If she knew the risks then she was old enough to make her own choices. Hell, who was I kidding? I'd beg her if I had to.

Just then Jared's mind joined mine.

_Hey man, how yah doing? That was a hard story to hear and I don't even know her_.

I listened to the rest of Bella's story in his mind and felt the rage all over again. The red-haired leech wanted to kill Bella herself. So she could take her time. So she could enjoy torturing Bella. I wanted to tear something apart. I wanted to literally kill something. I thought fleetingly about picking a fight with Jared.

_Hey, hey, hey! Haven't you ever heard of 'don't kill the messenger?' Jeez!_

_Sorry, this is just really fucking hard to deal with. It's hard to even think about it and knowing that it could happen…_

_Dude, it couldn't happen. Seriously, the girl has five werewolf body guards now. We can take care of her. _**You**_ can take care of her._

_You're right. Sorry, I'm not trying to put down the pack or anything..._

_No worries, we all know you care about her. Sam wants us back and Bella is kind of lost without you. So get dressed and get your ass to Emily's._

_Right, and…thanks Jared._

_Anytime._

With that, Jared's mind disappeared and I was left with my thoughts again. I felt a little better at the reminder that Bella was practically untouchable with the Pack protecting her. I felt some of the tension leave me and I was instantly eager to be back with Bella. It had been so hard not being able to see her. Now, it felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders at the knowledge that not only could I see her but that she was okay with the way I was.

I phased back and pulled on pants, thinking about how Jared said that Bella looked lost without me. I couldn't help my satisfaction at that and my guilt for having left her. But in the end satisfaction won out and I was grinning like an idiot when I met up with Jared in human form outside of Emily's. Sure, Bella was still broken from the leech but I had faith that she would learn to love me. I had a plan.

When I walked in to the crowded kitchen my eyes immediately sought her out. She was sitting at the table, staring at Paul and looking uncomfortable. He looked…shocked? That was weird. I started to instinctively move to Bella's side but Sam's voice interrupted me.

"Let's move this to the living room where there is more space and Bella can explain her last comment." What the fuck? Sam sounded seriously disturbed; and he was looking at Bella like she was an executioner. Oh God, I didn't think I could take hearing anymore of the screwed up crap that Bella had experienced with the leeches.

But regardless, I followed Bella into the living room and sat down on the love seat as close to Bella as I could possibly get. She blushed, as usual, and scooted to the other side of the seat. I gave her an annoyed look and just pulled her back, so she was practically on my lap, and secured her there with an arm around her shoulder. I ignored the stifled laughs from the rest of the guys. There was no way I was letting her put space between us, no matter how small it was. Bella just sighed but eventually relaxed against me.

As everyone else settled on the couch or on the floor, a strained silence filled the air. Jared and I exchanged confused looks, obviously having missed the bomb that Bella dropped.

"So, as you were saying Bella?" Sam sounded anxious. It made my body tense up and Bella lifted a hand automatically to my chest to soothe me. It did.

"Um, about the, uh, mind reading?" I shot Sam an annoyed glare. I hadn't told Bella about that yet and I had wanted to break it to her gently so she wouldn't think we were _complete_ freaks. Sam ignored me and nodded at Bella. "Well, Edward could do that too, yah know read minds, and that's what I, uh, meant when I said you guys weren't the first…" Bella broke off at the collective groan that went around the room.

"Crap!" I muttered, making Bella jump. We knew there was a possibility that legend was true but we thought it was unlikely. Hoped it was unlikely. It gave the leeches such an advantage if they all had extra talents! "Shit, shit, shit!"

"Enough!" Sam's voice once again stopped the chaos in the room. You could almost feel the angry disappointment in the room. This was _not_ good news. The urge to rip something apart returned. Then I felt Bella shaking and edging away from me. She was scared. Of us. Of me. The hostility ebbed out of me in a second and I was gently pulling her back.

"Sorry, Bells." I whispered against her hair. "We have bad tempers but we wouldn't hurt you. Sorry we scared you but…that kind of happens a lot around here. Just try to trust us some, okay?" I felt her nod against my chest.

"Okay, Jake. I'm sorry too; it was just sort of a reflex. I know you wouldn't…well, sorry for thinking it." Her deep eyes met mine and I smiled at her. I realized the silent room was all watching us and I met Sam's eyes, trying to communicate that he should keep the guys under control as best as he could. I hated when Bella was scared.

"Can they all do that, Bella, read minds I mean?" Sam was back to business.

"Uh, no it was just Edward." She winced as she said the name and we all just pretended not to notice.

"Can he read everyone's mind?"

"Well yeah, I was the only exception I think." For probably the hundredth time today, Bella's words were met with awed stares.

"Of course you are." Sam muttered, making me laugh. It did seem like Bella was always the anomaly. She was usually at the center of everything and there always seemed to be something special about her. Not that she noticed of course, she would probably claim she was always in the wrong place at the wrong time or something. "Why couldn't he read your mind?"

"I don't know. Neither did he, he just couldn't do it. That's probably why he took an interest in me in the first place, because I was a mystery." Her voice was small and quivering. Her face was a mask of pain and she was clutching her stomach again. I swallowed hard. And the rest of the pack was watching her with angry sympathy. Then she smiled slightly. "It probably just means there's something wrong with my brain."

"I already knew there was something wrong with your brain." I said giving her a playful shove and earning a small smile from her. It was so typically Bella to think there was something wrong with _her_ after dating a mind-reading vampire and then finding out her best friend is a werewolf

"Thanks," Bella muttered and elbowed me in the ribs.

"Do any of the other vampires have special, uh, talents?" Sam was being careful now, obviously trying not to upset her again. I appreciated the effort even though I knew it was useless. She was always hurting. Bella nodded and everyone had to stop themselves from starting the chaos. Again, I appreciated the effort.

"Alice can see the future. It's nothing exact but when someone makes a decision she can see how that decision will turn out and what the effects will be." Paul had his head in his hands and was trying not to lose control. Embry groaned loudly and Sam just looked grim. "And Jasper could control emotions. Nothing bad, he could just sort of calm people down. That's it for the Cullens' talents."

Everyone was silent for a moment. It was a lot to take in and it certainly wasn't good news but all in all it could have been worse. On top of that, it was better that we knew what we were up against so it _was_ good news that we had Bella. I resisted the urge to rub it in Paul's face that I hadn't made a mistake in trusting her with the secret.

As I contemplated this, I absently drew invisible pictures on Bella's arm. Her skin was milky and soft to the touch. I loved the contrast of my skin against hers. I loved the way it looked when I was touching her or she was touching me. More though, I love the way it felt. Touching Bella was heaven and when she touched me it was hell because it was such sweet torture. It made me think of things I had no right to think about. But God, I adored when she touched me. I wished she did it more often.

"Do you think this Victoria had any special abilities?" Embry asked softly and I froze. It hadn't seemed as bad when it was the Cullen's with the extra stuff but they also didn't have a vendetta against the girl I loved. This would be bad. But Bella shook her head and alleviated my fears with her words.

"Edward…" wince "would have mentioned it." We all nodded and it seemed that the questioning was over. "Anything else?"

"No, I think that covers it and thank you for this information, Bella. It will make out job of catching Victoria easier and of course we will make sure you're safe." Sam offered a smile but she didn't return it. She looked extremely worried and I couldn't help but be offended.

"You…you can't! You can't fight her, you'll get hurt or… she wants me and I will not have you putting yourself in danger because I'm a bad luck magnet!" Her shaky speech made everyone laugh but also gained her even more respect and affection from the pack because it was obvious that she meant it. She would rather face an angry vampire alone than have anyone risk their life for her. God, I loved her even if she was being ridiculous.

"Bells, honey, one vampire isn't much of a problem for a pack our size. Jeez, have some faith in us!" I smiled at her encouragingly but she still looked skeptical. I sighed and got off the couch.

"Are we done?" I asked Sam and he nodded.

"Yeah, you guys can go. But, Bella try to stay in La Push as often as you can. It will be easier for us to protect you that way." She opened her mouth to respond but in the end just nodded.

"Thanks, Sam. It was, uh, nice to meet you guys and thanks for you know…everything." Bella stuttered through her goodbye. They responded with "no problem" and "that's our job."

I slipped my arm around her shoulder and pulled her out of Emily's. It appeared Bella had gotten four more fans. Even Paul looked taken with her. Figures. I tried to be annoyed about it but in the end I was just happy that she fit in with my new family. I was proud too, because she was mine. Well, not really. But, she would be if my plan worked out.

"Jacob?" Bella sounded nervous and I tightened my arm around her.

"Mmhmm?" I answered, too happy to be worried.

"Can I stay with you tonight?"

For the first time since I'd started phasing, I tripped over my own feet.

* * *

Awe! I love Jake and the pack33

So, you're wondering why Emily's face isn't mauled? It's because there is no imprinting so there would have been no reason for them to fight and Sam wouldn;t have lost control. So, why isn't he with Leah? I didn;t want to change the story too much. I just wanted to take out the disgusting concept that is imprinting so I kept him with Emily and I'll explain why Leah and Sam broke up later on when she phases.

The next chapter might get a little naughty but I don't know yet. What do you think?

Review...you know you wanna!


	5. My Kryptonite

**A/N- Hey, sorry it took so long again. The lack of reviews isn't exactly motivating. But thanks to the few of you that did review, it makes my day! **

**Disclaimer: Twilight doesn't belong to me. If it did then Jacob and Bella would be together forever. **

**JPOV**

"I'm sorry, what?" I was sure I had heard her wrong. Did Bella Swan just ask if she could stay with me? As in _overnight_? I stared at her in shock and watched as she blushed bright red.

"I'm sorry, that was stupid of me to even ask. As if I don't pester you enough during the day…" Huh, so I _had_ heard her right. "Forget I said anything."

"NO! I mean, uh, you can stay, yah know, if- if you want to…" Shit, I was acting my age again. I wanted her to forget about the two years separating us, not wave that age gap in front of her face! With a sigh, I gave up and just said what I was feeling. "I want you to stay, Bells."

"You know I just meant it for sleeping…right?" She was turning as red as a tomato and I suspected I would be too if my skin wasn't so dark. Why were both of us so irreparably awkward?

"Jeez, Bella! Yes, yes all we'll do is sleep." Bella still wouldn't look me in the eye and I was struck by a sudden burning thought. "Unless of course, you wanted to…"

"What? Jacob Black, get your mind out of the gutter!" Bella swatted at my arm. Ah well, you win some, you lose some. But imagine if she'd said yes?

Images suddenly assaulted my mind, making me feel even hotter than my 108.9 degrees. Bella lying underneath me with her little body arching into mine. Bella with her head thrown back and panting my name. Bella telling me she wanted me as she grinded her hips against me…

With a shaky breath, I turned away from the object of my fantasy so she wouldn't see my reaction to her innocent request to stay with me. Well, I am a teenage boy! It's not like I'm some kind of pervert! God, I needed something else to think about!

"Are you scared, Bells? Is that why you don't want to be alone tonight?" When my question was met with complete silence, I finally turned back to her hoping that she didn't notice a certain part of my anatomy. Bella had her head down and was biting her lip. A wave of tenderness came over me.

"It's okay that you're scared honey." I whispered gently grasping her chin in my hand and tilting her face up. She looked embarrassed and underneath it I could see the terror. "You have nothing to be scared of; I promise we'll take care of you."

"That's not it exactly." She sighed and her liquid brown eyes met mine with an intensity that I hadn't seen before. "I'm afraid but not for me. Jake, I don't know what I'd do if you…" She trailed of and I wanted her to finish the thought. To tell me that she couldn't live without me or that she needed me that way that I needed her. She didn't, of course and I couldn't just let her continue to wear that expression.

"Hey, don't insult me like that! I'm supposed to be you're superhero and you're supposed to be my damsel in distress! I'm indestructible, remember? So, stop worrying and swoon over my muscles already!" I flexed my bicep at her and she started laughing which had been my intention. Now _that_ was my favorite expression. It faded quicker than usual though and I could see the worry coming back.

"But Jake, you're not indestructible. Even superheroes have weaknesses you know!" She poked me in the ribs and managed a weak smile, trying to keep the mood light. I smiled back and brushed some hair off of her face and leaned down so I was closer to her level.

"Yeah, but I've already figured out what my kryptonite is. And she's not very scary. In fact, I doubt she could inflict any damage at all." I smiled at her and she blushed scarlet before pulling her face out of my hands.

With a disappointed sigh, I turned and started walking in the direction of my house. I mentally corrected my early statement. She definitely could inflict damage, just not the physical kind.

I wondered cynically about her promise from yesterday. She had promised me she would try if I didn't leave her. And I wasn't leaving her so shouldn't that mean she owed me? Or, did the werewolf thing make her promise null and void? It didn't matter really, it wasn't like I would force her into a relationship that she didn't want and I also refused to break _my_ promise to her…again. So, looks like things are back to normal; me pining over Bella and her pretending not to notice.

I couldn't hold onto my bitterness though, or any unhappiness because today had been perfect. Well, maybe not perfect but certainly a good day. I had gotten my Bells back and there were no secrets between us anymore and I could start winning her over. We had all the time in the world, after all.

Bella's hand and mine had become entwined as we walked but I didn't know how. Maybe I'd reached for her or maybe she had reached for me, I wasn't sure. That's just how it was with us. Effortless and easy. The most natural thing in the world. It seemed right that we should be going home together after a long day and quietly giving each other comfort and reassurance. It felt right.

And I wanted this. Not just the illusion of it but the real thing. I wanted to know that we would have countless more walks like this and that we would eventually be heading home together every night.

And I wished that I had the _right_ to it. That I should be allowed to pull her to me and hold her. To kiss her, because that's what I knew I _should_ be doing. I knew that right was supposed to be mine and I vowed that it would be. I would never let anyone have that right.

But for now, Bella was hurting and confused and she needed her best friend. And if we were being honest, that's what I needed too. My life had been ripped out from under me and I wanted her acceptance. She could look at me and see just plain old Jake and smile at me because I was still the same person to her. And I was starved for those moments when we could get lost in our little world where vampires and werewolves didn't change anything.

We reached my house slower than I would have on my own what with Bella tripping every few feet. It was getting dark and I realized we had been at the beach and at Sam's for far longer than it had seemed. Bella shivered in the cold and I wrapped an arm around her. She didn't protest.

Billy was in the kitchen when we got home and he looked at Bella then gave me a question glance. I nodded my head, letting him know that we had no secrets to keep. He looked relieved and I wondered how miserable I had seemed to him when I wasn't allowed to see her. Huh, and to think I had been trying to hide it too.

"Hey, Dad. We learned some stuff from Bella today that I'm sure you'll want to hear." I looked at him significantly before continuing. "Can Bella, uh, stay here tonight? She's a bit freaked out and with good reason."

"Sure, sure. Bella's always welcome here." Billy was smiling but he looked bothered and I could tell that he sensed how stressed I was. "You look tired Bella so why don't you get settled and I'll give Charlie a call to let him know."

"Thanks, Billy. Jake?" Bella looked at me expectantly.

"I'll be right there Bells. You can sleep in my room, I have to run patrols for the first half of the night anyways." She nodded and stumbled back down the hallway to my room but not before I had seen that damnable blush on her cheeks again. What the hell, it was just a bed! I shook my head but couldn't help the smile that twitched on my lips.

"Son, what's going on? Why does Bella need to stay here? Is she in danger?"

"Whoa, Dad, chill! But yes, Bella's in danger. Or she would be if she didn't have us. That leech we've been after for weeks, well we figured out what she wants."

"Bella?" Billy was gaping in horrified shock and I could empathize. None of us liked the situation but there wasn't a whole lot we could do other than what we already had been doing. I quickly reiterated what Bella had told the pack and me and Billy's eyes steadily got wider in disbelief. When I was done, I was shaking, angry all over again but I forced myself to stay calm.

"Yeah, we're going to keep a closer eye on her house and rearrange our strategy, leave some gaps, and hope she falls for it." I didn't like the idea of using Bella as bait but there wasn't any danger in it. I just despised the idea on principal.

"Take care of her." Billy said to me before wheeling himself off to bed. As if he even needed to tell me. I went to my room and opened the door without knocking. I mean, it is _my_ room. But I realized, too late that I should have. Bella was sitting on my bed and trying to get her shirt over her head but failing miserably. She was stuck half in it and half out of it, bouncing and tugging to try to free herself. I froze.

I knew I should turn around but that was easier said than done. Her skin was creamy white, almost translucent in the dim light, and there was more of it showing than I had ever seen all at once. She wore a simply white bra and her breasts were actually bigger than they seemed when she had a shirt on. My mouth dropped open at the sight. She looked so soft and I couldn't help but imagine if she felt as soft as she looked. I pictured my hands running over her and then cupping her, gently squeezing. I imagined she would moan when I did that...

My jeans were feeling painfully tight and I jolted, realizing what a pervert I was being. I was about to turn around when Bella finally managed to get her shirt over her head and let out a startled gasp when she saw me.

"Jake! What the hell?" She jumped off the bed and held her shirt in front of her exposed chest. Her skin was turning pink and I was fascinated that her neck and chest turned pink too. Then I returned my gaze to her face and realized what a mess I was really in. Bella looked pissed. Like seriously seething with rage. I instinctively took a step back.

"I, uh, you, well, I didn't know you were…then I walked in and saw…I just sort of froze! I didn't mean to… Gah! I'm sorry okay Bella? It was an accident, honest!" Bella's eyes narrowed but she didn't say anything. She stiffly turned her back on me and I was treated to a view of more of her glorious skin, even if it was just her back. She picked up one of my shirts, which I prayed was clean, and then pointed for me to leave.

And leave I did, as fast as humanly (well super-humanly) possible not even caring that I had just been kicked out of my own room. I didn't stop running until I was locked into the bathroom. I pulled off my jeans and jumped into the shower that I turned on as hot as possible. The heat of the spray soothed some of the tension in my shoulders and I let out a deep breath. If I didn't take care of the raging beast between my legs now then I would be killing the guys with my fantasizing during patrols.

I braced one arm against the shower wall and squeezed my eyes shut while my other hand gripped my erection. I stroked myself thinking about the image of Bella with her shirt lifted over her head but in my fantasy she was slipping it off for me. She would let her shirt fall to the ground then smile at me as she unclasped her bra and let it fall too. She would reach for her jeans but I'd grab her hand. I wanted to do that part.

Her breasts would fit my hand perfectly and she'd close her eyes in pleasure as I kneaded them. She would thrust her chest into my hands, silently begging for more. Then I'd put her on my bed and push her down into the mattress with my weight. I'd feel her chest crushed against mine. Her legs would slide around my hips in need and I would oblige her by thrusting my erection into her softness through our clothes.

Bella would be panting now, making strangled noises in the back of her throat and I rhythmically ground into her.

"Jake, please…!" She would plead against my mouth as I explored hers with my tongue. She would be getting close but I'd pull away, making her reach for me in need. I would slide off her jeans, leaving her in just a pair of panties. Her legs would be just as creamy white as the rest of her and I would slide my hand up her thighs, making her whimper.

Then I would finally touch her, teasing her through the vulnerable material of her underwear, making her squirm against me. Then I would slip my fingers inside the material and seek out her core. She would be so hot and wet for me. I'd rhythmically stroke her tight passage until she was close to climaxing before withdrawing from her. She'd be frantic now, grinding against my hand and begging me. I would quickly strip off my own jeans and kneel between her pretty legs.

Bella would slide her legs around me and eagerly lift her hips, wanting the release she knew I would give her. I would kiss her again, wanting her to beg me for it.

"What do you want Bella?" I would whisper against her lips. I'd lower my hips a little so we were touching, heat to heat. She would moan but not answer. She was beyond words now. "Come on, Bells, what is it you want?" I'd grind a little harder now making her cry out.

"Jake, I want…you. I want you inside me. Now, please!" Then I would finally slide into her tight heat and we would fall together into that secret place that only lovers could go.

When I finished my head dropped against the shower wall and I was taking deep breaths. I washed myself off thinking of how unrealistic my fantasy was. If either of us would ever be begging it would be me. Besides is I ever did get that close to getting her in bed, I certainly wouldn't waste time asking her stupid questions. I'd hurry up before she would change her mind. Still, a guy could dream.

I slipped my jeans back on and headed to the kitchen intending on hanging out for another ten minutes before leaving for patrols. But as I passed my room I wondered if Bella was still up. I knocked lightly and she answered quietly.

"You can come in, I'm dressed." Bella's answer held some amusement and I was relieved that she seemed to have forgiven me. Even if it meant that she was now making fun of me. I opened the door to find her sitting up in bed. She was wearing one of my shirts that was far too big for her and a pair of my old sweatpants. She looked silly, like she was drowning in cotton and I laughed at her as I moved to sit down with her on the bed.

She smiled at me but it looked forced. I felt guilty all over again.

"Listen, I really am sorry Bella. I hadn't meant to walk in like that. Please don't let it make things weird between us." She laughed and it was genuine this time. I looked at her in confusion.

"Forget it Jake, I knew it was an accident. I'm over it…mostly. I'm just worried about you. How long do you have before you have to leave?" Oh, Bella. That was just like her to forget she was angry because she was so busy worrying about everyone else. She was just too easy to love and that was the problem. I was crazy about her.

"'Bout ten minutes and don't be up all night scared, okay?"

"I'll try." She answered vaguely and I tossed an arm over her shoulders, pulling her to me. Her legs tangled with mine and she rested her head against my shoulder, closing her eyes. We talked about everything and nothing, I suggested we go cliff diving tomorrow and she readily agreed. We eventually fell into a comfortable silence and just listened to each other breath. When it was time to go, I pushed my luck and pressed a kiss to Bella's forehead before heading to the door. Her sleepy voice stopped me.

"Jake, just do me a favor and wake me up when you get back. I don't care what time it is, I just don't wanna have to wonder about it. Okay?" I sighed but understood.

"Yeah, try to get some sleep. See you soon Bella." _Love you, Bella_.

* * *

Okay, so I hope I did alright with that fake lemon. I figured it was a little early for a real one. So feedback, idea, constructive critisism? Really, I'd take insults at this point just please give me something! Anyways, I've started the next chapter so it should be up soon.


	6. Swan dive

**A/N- This chapter and the next chapter are the last ones that follow the general storyline that SM used. After that, it's all new! I have a pretty good idea of what I want to do with it but ideas would be welcome! Oh and thanks to those who have reveiwed, it means a lot.**

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyers is a genius and Twilight is hers.**

**JPOV**

When I phased, I recognized the buzz of Paul and Embry's minds. It was nice to be able to be friends with Embry again but Paul could get annoying.

_Yeah, well being stuck in your mind isn't so fun either, Black._

_Screw you, Paul. Has there been anything new?_

_No, it's been quiet tonight, no new trails. I think she's lying low for a while. Why did it take you so long to get here?_ Embry wasn't trying to pry, I knew that but it was still frustrating to not be able to have secrets. In an instant they saw the reason why it had taken me so long. Images of Bella flashed through my mind. Her asking me if she could sleep over, her struggling with her shirt then finally her cuddled up against me in bed.

_Did you guys…?_ Embry was shocked and maybe a little impressed, thinking things had gone differently. Paul was mentally cheering for me.

_No, no. It's nothing like that. I walked in on her and then later she was scared so we just hung out for a while before I left._ I only wish it was like that_._

_Yeah, we know you do_. Paul responded to what I didn't want him to hear. Damn this stupid mind connection. Was anything sacred anymore?

_Okay, so I'll take the South border, connecting to Forks and you guys can take Northwest and Northeast?_

_Works for me, be careful Jake. I don't want to have to save your sorry ass._

_Thanks Paul, you too guys_.

Things were quiet after that and for the most part we left each other to our thoughts and tried not to listen too closely. It really wasn't so bad, this connection, as long as we all put in some effort to make is as easy as possible. I tried to keep my thoughts away from Bella to prove to the guys that I wasn't completely whipped. But it was useless.

I worried about her. Sure, she had a crazed bloodsucker after her but I was confident that we could keep her safe on that count. I was more worried about her mental state. I mean she _had_ come to me with motorcycles so we could fix them up and ride them. At first, I hadn't thought much of it, I was just happy that she was interested in something I was good at.

But once we had started actually riding them she sometimes wasn't all there. She would get this dreamy expression on her face, her eyes would glaze over and I doubted she even knew I was there anymore. Even after she would crash (which inevitably happened a lot) she would look so blissful and barely feel the pain of whatever injury she had received (and she received a lot of them). It was a little frightening sometimes.

Plus, she doesn't like music, movies or even TV very much. That's not exactly normal, is it? And then there's that way she grabs her stomach as if she's about to fall apart. Finally, there's the image of her that is burned into Sam's head and my head of Bella lying on the cold ground in the forest, covered in shallow cuts, with her eyes open wide and lifeless. She looked almost dead in Sam's memory and the first time he had remembered it, I had almost lost it, thinking she was hurt somewhere. But then he told me it was from the night _he_ left.

I was feeling sick from my thoughts so I tuned in to Embry's mind for a distraction. He was worrying about Quil and I mentally groaned. That hurt to think about too. I missed my best friend and his obnoxious personality but that didn't mean I wanted this for him. I hoped he wouldn't phase; wouldn't be forced into a responsibility that none of us had signed up for. But I knew that he was close. He was getting huge, and his grandfather said you could fry an egg on his forehead. God, this is a miserable patrol!

I actually resorted to listening to Paul's inner monologue, knowing it couldn't be anything too deep. And it wasn't. He was reliving one of his treasured nights with a pretty senior named Katie. He had managed to get her into the back seat of his old Chevy and was sweet talking her out of her dress. Wow, Paul actually sounded nice the way he complimented her. I couldn't help but be mildly impressed as he changed her mind from "absolutely not" to "yes, please!"

And for the next couple hours or so I tried to tune out my worrying about Bella and Embry's worrying about Quil by listening to Paul's mental brag session. I was seeing more of the reservation girls' bodies than I would have ever dreamed of, and some of them I would have preferred _not_ to see. Paul wasn't exactly picky.

_Yeah, well at least I've gotten laid. Which is more than you can say for yourself, Black_. Huh, so Paul knew I was listening in and he just didn't care. Had he no shame? Then his thoughts brought up a picture of Bella. The one I had accidently showed them earlier of her with her shirt over her head. Paul quickly banished the thought but I was mentally growling at him; seeing red.

_Hey, sorry dude! You shouldn't have thought about it if you didn't want us to think about it. I mean, come on dude, Bella's hot! _I was about to let loose with the temper that was building in me but Embry's voice interrupted us both.

_New trail! It's fresh! And it's definitely the red-head._ Those words sent me and Paul heading towards Embry as fast as we could, howling for the others as we went. Maybe tonight we could find her. Maybe by tomorrow it would be over.

**BPOV**

I woke up after a horrible night's sleep and it took me a moment to figure out where I was. Jake's room. I felt a rush of panic because he hadn't woken me up when he got home like he promised. What if he was hurt? What if…? No, I wouldn't let myself think like that. He had probably just forgotten or had been too tired or didn't want to wake me. I was overreacting, as usual.

I dragged myself out of bed and checked the time. Nine o'clock? Wow, I guess I really was tired. I walked into the kitchen to find Billy drinking coffee and reading the paper. If Jake was hurt wouldn't his dad be upset? Of course, he would which meant Jake was fine, right?

"Morning Bella, how'd you sleep?" Billy smiled when he saw me and I noticed that it was a little strained.

"Good, thanks." I told him as I joined him at the table. "What time did Jake get in?" Billy wouldn't look at me and he was struggling to find the right words. I looked at him suspiciously then glanced in the living room. I expected to see him sprawled on the couch but it was empty and there was no blanket or pillow or any sign that someone had slept there. "Billy, what happened?"

My voice was laced with panic and I realized I was being extremely rude but unable to calm down.

"Bella, it's okay. He's okay. They found a new trail and they're following it. He checked in just before dawn but they needed everyone for this." I was forcing myself to breathe normally. Jacob was okay for now even if he was trying to find a deadly vampire…

"Okay, um, I need to walk. I'll be back in a bit…" Billy was watching me with puzzled eyes and I stumbled out his door and headed for the path that went to First Beach. I was feeling frantic for some reason. What if something happened to him? What if Jake didn't come back?

I tried to push my horrible thoughts away but it was impossible. I had no distraction and my sun was gone, leaving me in the cold. I wandered along the rocks, tripping and scraping my knees every few minutes but not really feeling it. It was beginning to rain and the clouds were rumbling with thunder. It seemed fitting somehow. My worries for Jake make the hole in my chest rip open with a vengeance and I dropped to the rocks to wrap my arms around myself.

And then, I was defenseless. Without Jacob, I had nothing to hold the pain at bay and it swept over me and pulled me under. I remembered Edward and Alice. I remembered his cold lips against mine and the way his musical voice would sound when he said my name. I remembered the way he told me he didn't want me anymore and that gave me some strength.

I dragged myself back to my feet and made a decision. I wanted to hear his voice and I wanted to hear it now. Jake had promised me cliff diving, hadn't he? Just because he was gone didn't mean I should sit here and be miserable, right?

Without a backwards glance, I headed to the Black's house for my truck and drove to the cliffs.

**JPOV**

I could barely think straight as I carried Bella back to my house through the rain. She had just jumped off a fucking cliff into a hurricane that she would have never been able to out-swim. I wanted to scream at her but the relief was too strong to do much but cradle her against me and fight down the urge to kiss her senseless with my happiness that she was alive.

When I had seen Victoria take off into the water I was terrified that she would double back to the beach, knowing that Bella spent most of her time there. I had followed her tire tracks and nearly lost it when I saw where they were heading. The cliffs. During a hurricane. Alone. I mean, seriously, _what the fuck_?

Then I had heard her scream and knew. Shaking with panic and fear, I had followed her over the edge and into the icy water. It hadn't taken very long to find her. She hadn't been moving at all, not even trying to swim as she sank deeper. Her eyes had been open and lifeless when I grabbed her and dragged her to the surface. Her weight had been limp and I had frantically beat against her back, willing her to breathe. She didn't.

When I towed her to the shore I continued my ministrations and didn't bother trying to stop the tears welling in my eyes. Her eyes were closed then and her chest was still and her body had been so cold. It felt like I was fighting a losing battle as I had begged Bella to wake up and pleaded with her to breathe. Then with a final push into her abdomen, she had choked out water. _A lot _of water.

Then she had taken a breath and I felt myself shatter in relief. Her eyes had opened to narrowed slits and she'd croaked my name. God, I really thought I'd lost her for a second. The thought made my hands start shaking again, not in anger but in a desperate feeling that I didn't have a name for.

"Jake," Bella's raspy whisper brought me to the present and I noticed we were almost back to my house. "Sam said hospital. Did someone get hurt? What happened?"

"No, nobody got hurt but the bloodsucker got away again. It's- it's Harry Clearwater." My voice cracked a little bit and I cleared my throat but Harry was family and the kid in me wanted to break down into tears. "He had a heart-attack, it doesn't look good." Bella groaned in anguish and curled closer to my chest. I knew her pain wasn't for herself because she wasn't close to Harry but it was for me and Charlie and Billy. Somehow, that made the ache in my chest a little more bearable.

"Bella, promise me something okay? Promise me you'll save the stupid stuff for when I'm around? I won't be able to focus if I think you're jumping off cliffs behind my back." I tucked my chin down to look her in the eyes. I would know if she was lying; Bella was an open book to me.

"Kay." It was simple and heartfelt, and it made me feel a lot better. I walked into my living room and dumped Bella onto the loveseat. I hurried into my room and Bella protested, trying to hang on to my hand. I smiled widely at her before plying my hand away and getting her a pair of my old sweatpants and a t-shirt.

"Put these on before you freeze." I said tossing them to her. I waited patiently while she just held them in her numb hands. "Oh, right. I'll just be out here." I mumbled then retreated into the hall to give her privacy. She changed quickly then called frantically for me to come back. What was she afraid of?

When I saw her I had to smile. Her hair was beyond fixing and she was still wet from her "swim." She looked so exhausted that I thought she might drop into sleep at any moment. Not to mention that my clothes were at least three sizes too big. She held her hands out to me and I felt my heart squeeze.

I went to Bella and sat down beside her, letting her wrap her arms around my middle and squeeze tight. I brought my arm around her shoulders and rested my head on top of hers. She seemed to be thinking hard about something but I was too tired to ask about it now. As I drifted off to sleep, I held her tighter to reassure myself she was there.

Billy found us like that; tangled together on the love seat asleep. His surprise lasted a moment and I thought I saw a small smile on his face before the anguish took over again. That could only mean one thing. I attempted to comfort him but it was clear he wanted to be left alone so I got Bella's truck from the stupid cliff and returned home to drive Bella to Charlie's.

She was quiet in the car. I suspected she was sorting through her thoughts and the chaos our lives had become. She didn't protest when I put my arm around her as I drove. In fact, she hardly ever protested about affection anymore. Sometimes she even initiated it. I tried not to put too much stock in that but it was hard to squash the hope. Couldn't she see how completely right this was?

When we parked in her driveway, she still didn't move. Her brown eyes were narrowed in thought and she got that wrinkle between her brows that meant she was concentrating. She was biting her nails the way she always did and I was overcome with a wave of love. I had almost lost her.

I wrapped my other arm around her in an impromptu hug and squeezed, but not too hard because I didn't want her to pull away from lack of air. I hoped this didn't make her uncomfortable but even if it did, I wasn't letting go quite yet.

"I'm sorry Bella. I know you don't feel quite the same way I do but I'm just so happy you're alive I could sing, and that's something nobody wants to hear." I laughed and she relaxed into my chest, lifting her arms to return the embrace. Now, I _really_ wanted to sing. Her fingers were unconsciously tracing my skin and her heartbeat had accelerated, her breathing getting faster. What did that mean? Was I making her uncomfortable?

I felt Bella shift slightly, turning her head.

Then she pressed her cool, soft lips to my shoulder. I gasped in awe as my whole body stiffened. I fumbled slightly as my shaking hands searched for her face. I grabbed her chin and forced it up, a little too roughly. Her eyes were filled with confusion but I didn't care. She had made the choice and I wasn't wasting this chance.

Then a gust of wind blew through the open window and my body went rigid.

_Vampire_.

* * *

Duh, duh, duuuuh! Sorry about the cliff hanger, I was going to combine two chapters but I liked it better split up. So review and maybe I'll post the second half today? :)


	7. Close calls

**BPOV**

Jacob's entire body had gone rigid. At first, I had been positive he was going to kiss me back and thus change everything between us. Then his eyes filled with rage and he started shaking like he was going to phase. I felt tears well in my eyes as I hurriedly pushed away from him and reached for my door. _I'm such an idiot_.

Jacob reached across me and slammed my door shut, making me jump. My entire face was on fire from mortification and rejection. I wouldn't look at Jake.

"V_ampire_. Have to get you to La Push!" He practically growled it at me as he started the truck and threw it into gear. My embarrassment turned instantly to terror as I shifted closer to him unconsciously.

"Is it her?" My voice was cracked and raspy from earlier.

"No, It's not a scent I recognize." We were speeding away from my house at breakneck speeds when I spotted it. The sleek black car that I knew belonged to _them_.

"Wait! Stop! Jacob stop now!" He ignored me ad I felt my heart breaking as we drove farther and farther away. "That's Carlisle's car! Jacob you have to stop!" My voice was desperate and I was gripping his arms. He looked at me with disgust and hurt in his eyes. I didn't allow myself to care about it right now. Finally, he slammed on the brakes and I let out a sigh of relief. "Take me back."

"No, take yourself back." His voice was hard but his eyes showed what I was putting him through. The guilt threatened my resolve for a moment but I shoved it away. If they were back, even if it was just Carlisle, I would give _anything_ to see one of them again. Maybe even Jacob's trust. His voice pleaded one last time. "It's probably just a trap Bella. They _left_ you, or have you forgotten? And even if _they_ are really back, I can't protect you here, this is _their_ territory."

"No, no, no! They would never hurt me, I'll be fine!" With a last shake of his head, Jacob slipped gracefully out of the truck and began striding to the forest.

"Bye, Bells. I hope you don't die!" I wondered with an ache what I had just done to Jacob. But the guilt couldn't hold me long and I shoved the truck into gear.

JPOV

I phased as soon as I reached the woods and blocked any thoughts, just letting my mind go numb. The others were trying to break through to communicate but I shoved away their probing. I could feel their frustration and panic but I didn't care. I was hurting at Bella's betrayal but even more than that I was scared.

What had started out as a small fear had escalated. I knew it was just a Cullen, I was fairly sure I recognized the odor from Sam's mind and I thought Bella was safe. But as I ran, I realized that she might not be as safe as I had thought. What if it was a trap and I had just handed her over to be tortured to death? It made my stomach roll and I wheeled around intending to go back.

But what if it was a Cullen? I doubted I would be able to control my phasing and the consequences would be catastrophic. A war would be started because of my stupidity. I decided I would settle on calling her even if it did make me sick thinking I might be making a huge mistake…

I couldn't think about it, I just couldn't. I reached my house at a ridiculous speed and phased quickly, pulling on my sweats as I headed to the house. I could smell Embry and Paul and knew they had come to my house to demand answers for my silence.

I slammed through the front door and ignored Billy and the guys as I sprinted towards the kitchen.

"Jake, what's wrong?" Embry was concerned and I felt bad but it would have to wait. I needed to make sure she was okay. If I wasted any more time she might be dead. I needed to know! Paul had followed me and grabbed my shoulder angrily.

"What the fuck is going on?" He screamed in my face, shaking slightly. I didn't hesitate as I slammed my fist into his seething face. There was a sickening crack as bones broke and he stumbled back. I turned from him and reached for the receiver, fumbling as I dialed the Swan's house.

It rang.

And rang.

…and rang…

Everyone was watching me intently as my body started shaking. Oh God, I had just served Bella up on a fucking platter for the bloodsucker. No, no, no! This could not be happening! I was gripping the counter so tight I though I heard wood splinter.

"Get to Bella's, now!" I growled at them, panicked. They shot me questioning looks but responded to the tone of my voice and headed quickly for the door. Billy was wide-eyed with concern.

"Hello?" Bella's soft voice came over the line and I was dizzy with relief. "Charlie?" I rested my head against the wall, feeling weak. Paul and Embry had stopped and I motioned for them that it was okay. They rolled their eyes and I heard something about "paranoid" and "over-reacting."

"No, it's me. Just checking that you were still alive." My voice was bitter as the fear faded and the hurt came back full force.

"I'm fine, Jake, I told you they wouldn't hurt-" I couldn't take it anymore. Her voice was so dreamy and free of the pain that she'd been carrying around for months. She as running back to them after everything!

"Yeah, got it. Bye." With that, I slammed the receiver down. I had just hung up on Bella. For the first time, I had willingly shut her out. It was satisfying for a moment but still, I already missed my best friend. I mean, I had just gotten her back!

"Dude, what was that about?" Paul sounded annoyed and disapproving; cradling his injured (but healing) nose. I felt a shot of guilt.

"Sorry, about your nose…" I sighed and he shook his head though there was resentment in his eyes.

"Whatever, what happened?" It was my turn to shake my head.

"Let's phase, I need to talk to the whole pack and I don't want to be forced to repeat it."

When we phased, everyone was there. When they sensed me they shouted questions until Sam ordered silence.

_The Cullens are back. I don't know how many or for how long, but yeah…_

_How do you know?_

I replayed the scene in Bella's car when I had smelled the vampire and tried to get her to La Push and then how she had seen the car and began pleading with me. It hurt all over again as she ignored my protests, as she ignored me and driven away without a backwards glance. Then, I related the phone conversation and how I knew it really was the Cullens.

Silence.

Then, _Fuck! _

Yeah, I had to agree.

* * *

The car ride to Bella's house was both never-ending and too quick because on the one hand, I was anxious to see her and on the other, I was secretly nervous. Would she be happy to see me? Or would she not need me anymore now that she had her vamps back?

I had volunteered for this assignment even though Sam has been against it. He said I was too personally involved and I wouldn't be able to control myself. I couldn't say that he was wrong. But, Bella was my responsibility and I wasn't comfortable with anyone else checking on her or questioning her. Maybe I was being over-protective but it didn't change my feelings. And yeah, I just wanted to see her.

As Jared pulled the car up to the curb, he and Embry made me promise to stay in sight. I did, even though they'd be able to hear me even if I did go inside. I hopped out of the car, dreading the fight that Bella and I were sure to have. She'd be mad at me, I'd be mad at her and I hated it when we fought. I was going slowly, reluctantly up the driveway; trying to buy time. When I was about halfway to the porch, it suddenly burst open.

Bella was staring at me shocked and I stopped moving. Then, a relieved grin split across her face as she darted down the steps and ran across the lawn, managing miraculously not to trip. When she reached me, her arms flew around my neck, taking me completely by surprise.

"Jake! I thought you hated me and that you wouldn't want to be my friend anymore. I was so scared-" My brain finally caught up with the situation and I brought my arms around her tightly, cutting off her air and her words. I lowered my face to her hair and tried my best to ignore the scent of vampire. _And_ the amused gagging noises coming from the car. "Can't-breathe!"

Right, sorry." I let go of her and looked down at her. She had dark circles under her eyes and I wondered if she'd gotten any sleep last night. Was that because of the bloodsucker or me? "I need to ask you some question."

Bella's back straightened and her smile dropped off her face. _Dammit_.

"Ask away." Her voice held a challenge and none of the warmth she'd greeted me with. Well, what the hell was I supposed to put this? I ignored the ache and let my face fall into an indifferent mask I had learned from Sam. I glanced back at the guys who were glaring at Bella. I shot them a look then shifted so I was blocking their view.

"How many Cullens are her and how long are they staying?" I sounded professional and her eyes narrowed at the sound of it.

"It's just Alice," she said, her voice belligerent, turning her back on me. I resisted the urge to turn her back around so I could see her face again. "And she can stay as long as she likes. Anything else?"

"Are-are the others coming back?" I was nervous about this one. If he came back, then…

"No, it's just Alice." Bella was quieter now and I knew the question had hurt her. I nodded though I knew she couldn't see me. Maybe, the situation wasn't so bad for us. But fir Bella…it would kill her when the vamp left again. I was being a jerk but I couldn't stop myself. Besides, she had been the one to leave me last night!

"Well, if that's all then you better run back and tell your precious Sam." She tried to sound mean but I heard the pain under it all. She didn't turn to look at me as she stumbled dejectedly back towards her house. I knew the vamp wasn't in there now, I suspected she's been gone for a couple hours. My fists clenched as I walked to the car.

I turned back, right before I opened the door and I saw Bella fumbling with the knob, her hands shaking. My hand paused on the handle, torn between what I should do now.

"Jake get in the car, we're going to be late for the funeral." Embry was annoyed but sympathetic. He knew this was hard for me and he could also see that Bella was upset, despite all her bravado. I was going to get in the car and drive away, I really was but then she finally got the door open and as she stepped through over the threshold the sun shone on her face. Tears were glistening in tracks down her cheeks. She quickly slammed the door shut and I could hear her quiet crying from inside.

My resolve crumbled as regret took over. I pushed away from the car, needing to make it stop. I had never seen her cry before and I did _not_ like it. I _hated_ it.

"What are you doing? Dude, _get in the car_!" I was shaking my head at Jared, already heading across the lawn.

"I-I can't. Jared, she's crying! I friggen make her cry!"

"You're suck a shmuck! What happened to macho-tough guy-werewolf-Jake?" I ignored him and hurried to the door, not bothering to knock.

I followed the sounds of Bella's quiet sniffs into her kitchen. She was leaning against the counter with her face in her hands and her shoulders shaking slightly. The voodoo pain hit me again along with some guilt.

"Bella?" She startled up and whirled to face me. She was surprised, obviously thinking I had left. That hurt too because the one thing I had going for me was that I _hadn't _left, unlike someone… "I did it again, didn't I?"

"Did what?" She was trying to wipe her eyes, to hide the fact that she had been crying, Oh, Bella. I gave up on any of the resentment I had been harboring and pulled her into a gentle hug. She returned it immediately.

"Breaking my promise. I keep hurting you." I apologized against her hair, not caring about the icy, sweet smell that lingered on her.

"S'okay, I started it this time."

"No, I knew how you felt about them, it shouldn't have taken me by surprise like that."

"Does it have to be like that, Jake? Can't I be friends with you both?" I had a horrible vision of me Bella and the vamp sitting around watching some tv. I laughed without humor.

"No. Sorry Bella, but I don't think you can." She sighed angrily against my chest, making me smile.

"But-but you'll still be my friend right? Even-even if I love you both…" She wouldn't look at me and I knew she was nervous for my response to that. And yeah, I mean that was revolting; that she loved a bloodsucker! But then again, she'd said she loved us _both_. And that made all the difference. Bella _loved _me.

"Yeah, I'll always be your friend, no matter what you love." She turned her face up to me and I smiled at her. "Don't worry, she'll leave eventually, right? And then things will go back to normal." I didn't know who I was trying to comfort, her or me.

"Yeah." Was all she said. We stood like that for a while; holding each other and looking at each other with forlorn expressions. I didn't want to leave her, no matter for how short the time and she looked like she was feeling the same way.

I was reminded of that moment in the truck. I had been trying not to think about it because it had hurt too much. I had been so close! Bella had made the first move and by doing so, given me permission to take us to the next level. She had practically _asked_ me to _kiss_ her! It would have happened and I just wanted it so bad that it hurt! Then the stupid bloodsucker had ruined it, just like everything else.

But there was nothing to interrupt us now. There was no vampire to stop my lips from finding hers. I shifted so that she was wedged between the counter and me and brought my hands to cup her face. My intentions were clear and I saw the comprehension then the panic then _finally_ the acceptance! Her eyes held mine as I leaned closer, feeling her breath mingle with mine. Her eyelids drifted closed and I let my follow…

_Ring!_

_

* * *

_

Yeah, I just did that. But fear not! Bella won't pull the same crap she does in the books. Obviously she goes to save them because she wouldn't just let him die! But her loyalty is with the pack now and she isn't going to throw them away like she did in the books. I promise she won't be unfair and that Bella and Jake will end up together! I finished the next chapter so it'll be up in a day or two. It's my favorite so far. So, sme motivation would be nice... ;)


	8. Come back to me

**AN- Yay! Thank you thank you thank you for the reviews, they make me so happy! Anyways, this is my favorite chapter and it twice as long as usual sooo enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: If I owned twilight, this is how it would have gone down. But I don't. **

**JPOV**

The ringing of the phone interrupted me but I could only feel mild irritation because, after all, this was something that could be quickly dealt with. Then, I could finish what I'd started. I kept my eyes on Bella's the entire time. She wasn't trying to take advantage of the interruption or get away; she just stood there waiting. I felt a surge of excitement, this was really happening! Bella _wanted_ it to happen!

"Swan Residence," I said into the receiver. My voice sounded different and I wondered if the person would speculate as to why I sounded so dazed.

"Hello, this is Dr. Cullen. Is Chief Swan available?" It felt like I had been doused with a bucket of ice. I dropped my hand from Bella's face and stepped back as the shaking started. Who did he think he was? Why would he call here?

"No, he's not. He's at the funeral." I though I heard some strangled noise but then the line went dead. Did the leech just hang up on me?

"Jacob Black, who did you just hang up on? At _my_ house!" Bella's eyes were indignant. This would ruin everything! I would have to tell her and she would go catatonic again and I'd never get my chance with her! I had been so close. So fucking close! And it was ripped from me because of those stupid damn leeches!

"Always in the way!" I practically growled at Bella who was advancing on me, looking pissed. Yeah well, join the club. "Chill! The leech hung up on me!"

And then the female leech named Alice came rushing in, looking panicked.

That's when shit hit the fan.

**BPOV**

I was fumbling through my room and packing a bag with shaking hands. I needed clothes, I needed my toothbrush, I needed my passport and so it went. I was moving on autopilot, too upset to think straight. _How could he? _Was he this selfish as to put his family through this? Then again, I had jumped off a cliff so I shouldn't really pass judgment.

I hurried down the stair to hear Alice and Jake arguing violently in the hallway.

"You're right dog, you're absolutely right. These vampires are the truth behind your ;legends, the dread behind your instincts…"

"And you bring her to them like a bottle of wine to a party!" Jacob was yelling, sounding upset.

"What choice so I have? He's my _brother_!" Alice was beginning to lose her calm as well and I knew I had to stop this before it escalated.

"Stop arguing, we're wasting time." They both turned to look at me as if they hadn't already known I was there. "I'll write a note to Charlie, Alice go get a fast car."

She nodded and was gone. I went to the kitchen and fumbled around for a pen when a brown hand held one out to me. "Thanks, Jake." I mumbled as I wrote.

Dad,

Edward's in trouble. I went to save him. I know my timing sucks, I'm sorry. Please don't worry. Love you,

Bella

"Don't go, Bella." Jake pleaded quietly and I turned to look at him. His expression was tortured. And it hurt to see him like that but I didn't have time for this.

"I have to, Jake. Will you protect Charlie while I'm gone?" As I spoke I began walking to the door. There was a loud honk outside that signaled Alice's return. I was out the door and down the steps before Jacob caught my arm and pulled me around to face him.

"You don't though, you really don't!" He was pleading in a low desperate whisper that was making my eyes burn with tears. He looked so young just then and I wanted to give him everything he wanted, just so he'd smile again. But I couldn't. It wasn't an option.

"You could stay alive! You could stay here. With Charlie and with _me_! Just don't go Bells, please don't!" I looked into his beautiful, beloved face and was overcome with pain. _What if I never saw Jacob again? _For a moment it seemed like the pain of that thought was worse than it had been when Edward left.

I threw my arms around his waist and pushed my tear-stained face into his warm chest. A sob escaped me and his arms came around me, cupping the back of my head as if he could keep me there. "Don't die, Bells! Please, stay."

"I can't. I can't just let him kill himself out of guilt," I whispered into his chest, ignoring the impatient honks of the car. The thought of leaving this warm embrace made me feel desperate and when his arms loosened from around me I acted without thinking.

I stood on my tiptoes, reached for his shoulders and slammed my lips into Jacob's burning hot ones. He let out a gasp and froze in shock as I unskillfully moved my mouth against his in an unfamiliar, desperate caress. He had just barely softened his lips to respond and reach his arms to my waist when I ripped away and ran for the car.

"Love you, Jake! I'm sorry!" I yelled, crying. He was still standing wide-eyed when I dove into the car.

I looked back one last time to see him before the car sped away but all that was left was a piece of white fabric. A piece of a sneaker.

* * *

Getting to Italy was surprisingly easy, probably because I was traveling with Alice. We arrived at the airport an hour before our flight was supposed to leave and the wait was agonizing. Every moment we sat, doing nothing, Edward was closer to getting his wish. My insides coiled sickeningly at the thought and I immediately banished it. We would get to him on time, we just had to!

_God, why did I have to jump off that stupid cliff? _For him, of course. I would have done anything to be close to him, even if it was just in my imagination. The plane finally arrived and we crowded into our uncomfortable seats and took off. Great, more waiting. Alice smiled at me encouragingly but I saw the stress behind it.

What sick irony it was! I had wanted to see Alice for so long and now I couldn't enjoy the time because it was a race against the clock. I had also wanted to be able to see Edward with such an obsessive need and now as I flew across the world towards him, I was wishing it wasn't necessary. Because if we were even a moment too late…

"We're here!" Alice smiled at me, and it was a little more genuine this time. We were on the road in record time in a stylish yellow convertible. I almost didn't want to know where it came from but I was pretty sure Alice hadn't gotten it legally. Besides, I didn't care what laws we broke at this point. The drive was long but not as agonizing as the plane ride had been. We were pulling into the city before I had expected, and as I looked around I saw hundreds of people wearing red.

For what? A parade? A holiday? I didn't waste time asking, I just started pushing my way through the square. Alice had told me where I might find him and I knew he would be sticking to the shadows for now. He had made his decision, she had said and he was going to step into the sunlight, in public at noon. I had less than five minutes to find him before he condemned himself to death because of my stupidity.

I was practically hyperventilating as the minutes ticked by and I still hadn't seen him. I was shoving people now, not listening to their complaints. One minute left, I realized as I started shaking, and was reminded wildly about Jake when he close to phasing. _Jake_, I thought with longing, was another person I'd never see again. Because when Edward went down, Alice and I would go down with him. The Volturi would never let us leave alive, not that I'd want them to.

I noticed a little boy was staring into the shadows, and pointing, trying to get his mother's attention. I followed the direction of his small finger and froze. Then spurted into action. I tripped, stumbled and fell in my hurried dash towards Edward. He was making his way to the sunlight. I had moments now, he was taking the last step and I was almost there…

I slammed into his rock hard chest with all my force and succeeded in bringing him back the step he was about to take. I was out of breath from running, and from colliding with his chest, and from seeing him again. I barely got the words I needed to say out .

"Edward, it's me! I'm- I'm not dead… you need to get back into the shadows… we need to get out of here!" I was panting, trying to push him further away from the sunlight. His cold hand wrapped gently around my cheek and turned my face up to his so he could look me in the eye. His golden eyes made me melt and I felt the hole in my chest re-open, wider this time.

"Carlisle was right," He said wonderingly, staring at me with affection and his eyes had a glazed quality to them. "It was so quick! The Volturi are good, I didn't feel a thing!" I stared at him for a full five seconds before it clicked.

"Edward! You're not dead! We need to get out of here now before the Volt-" My sentence was cut off as he pulled me protectively behind him and backed us up against the wall. I was going to protest when two more vampires appeared in the alley. I didn't recognize them; which could only mean one thing.

We were screwed.

* * *

I was exhausted on the plane ride home. The adrenaline had kept me awake to find Edward and then it had kept me up when we were stuck in Italy with the Volturi. Now the effects were wearing off and I realized I hadn't slept in almost three days. I still wouldn't though. I refused to waste one precious moment that I had with Edward by resting even though he had insisted.

"Always so stubborn," he conceded with a small chuckle. "You never change, Bella." I had smiled even though he was wrong. I _was_ changed. I would never get my confidence back from when he left me. I would constantly worry that everyone I loved would walk away. My heart was also irreparably broken and I doubted my ability to love ever again. And Italy had broken something else inside of me; my soul.

I would never forget the faces of the people who had walked into that room to be made into a vampire meal. Those little kids, clinging to their parents' hands, the old women with the rosary, then the screams…

The tears were sliding down my cheeks and I quickly wiped them away. I would cry later, when he wasn't there to see it. Right now, I wanted to be numb.

"Bella?" Edward's voice was soft and concerned. He had noticed my tears and he twisted in his seat to look at me. I nodded but didn't speak. I simply turned my face away from his, which was a first. I was falling apart again. That wasn't a first. I wanted to see Jake, so he could smile at me and make the pain stop. I wanted him to hug me too tight so I didn't have to worry about going to pieces.

We were quiet for the rest of the flight but I kept sneaking glances at his beautiful face. My memories hadn't done him justice. And his voice! My delusions hadn't even come _close_ to the sound. I wanted to rememorize everything but at the same time I was worried. What would this do to me? Would I be able to recover a second time?

The flight was both too short and too long depending on the way I was viewing it. The longer I was with him, the more I would hurt. But I also wanted to stay with him forever. Either way it did end eventually, and we were soon gathering our few belongings and exiting the plane. I was dead on my feet and stumbling through the airport, barely keeping my eyes open.

Edward supported me with a hand under my elbow. He looked as though he would have just picked me up and carried me but he didn't. Probably because we were surrounded by people, or maybe he just didn't want to touch me too much. That stung a little but nothing too major. I was used to being rejected by him at this point. Even when we had been dating, the touching had been very limited.

We were greeted in the terminal by the rest of the Cullens. It was all very touching and everyone hugged me, except for Rosalie and Edward, of course. They were grateful to me, for going to save him. 'No big deal' I had slurred like a drunken person out of exhaustion. It was painful, seeing them all again. Especially when they were all relaxed and smiling-

Suddenly, the smiles were gone and the relaxed postures became rigid and tense. Edward's hand tightened on my elbow. Turning, slower than everyone else, I saw what the commotion was about.

The Cullens weren't the only mythical creatures in the airport tonight.

The whole pack stood on the other side of the terminal, staring intently at us. I was surprised that they actually had shirts and shoes on for once. And what were they doing here? Did they come to get me? No, that would be silly. They must be here to speak with the Cullens about the treaty or maybe about Victoria.

Wait, if the whole pack was here then who was patrolling? I almost panicked but quickly realized they wouldn't leave their people unprotected which had to mean… I wanted to believe it but I was afraid to get my hopes up. Could Victoria really be dead? Could the wolves have finally killed her? I felt a trickle of relief run through me. One less thing to worry about!

The terminal was relatively small and filled with people who were rushing around. I didn't notice anybody but the pack, not even the Cullens. It was suddenly far too cold and Edward's hand was not helping the situation. I was aching for the warmth that I hadn't felt in days. The kind that only one person could give me.

My eyes scanned their faces for the one that belonged to me. I saw Sam, Paul, Embry… _Jacob_! Seeing him made all the tension leave my body. He looked so relieved for a moment and I realized he had thought I might not come back at all. The joy on his face was so acute that for a moment I thought he would cross the distance between us to reach me. Then his expression hardened over to a cold scowl that made me remember that day in the woods next to his house…

I took a step towards him without thinking only to be jerked to a halt. Edward pulled me back and I was struggling to get free of his hold, barely noticing him now. I wanted that expression off of Jacob's face. I wanted him to smile _my_ smile at me. I wanted him to crush me in a hug. I was yanking desperately away from Edward now, getting frantic. "Let go! Please Edward, I need to see him!"

"They're dangerous, Bella." Edward was calm and his touch was gentle as he pulled me behind him. The moment I lost sight of Jake, I felt the searing pain in my chest that I had been trying to ignore. Tears started to well in my eyes and roll down my cheeks as I looked up into Edward's topaz gaze. The bitter irony of the situation was not lost on me. I had been dying (literally) to be with him for so long and now when I had him I was fighting to get away from him.

"Let. Me. Go. Please." I enunciated each word. I was still fighting fatigue and I was also fighting off the panic attack that had been threatening to overtake me since that room in Italy; those screams. I wanted my comfort, I wanted my sun, and I wanted Jacob Black. Edward seemed to finally understand my complete desperation and released my arm with a look of devastated pain. I didn't take the time to worry about it.

I was practically running towards the pack, ignoring the outraged looks the Cullens sent at me. I was tripping on the tiled floor and the three nights I had gone without sleep were catching up to me. I almost hit the ground twice in my dash. I looked at Jake who was watching me with incredulous surprise. He hadn't expected me to walk away from the Cullens, I realized, feeling guilty. I wondered if he would ever forgive me for leaving him, I didn't know what I would do if he didn't… but then his expression softened and he looked at me with affection and maybe a little bit of reverence.

Jake broke away from the others and made his way swiftly towards me. He grabbed me before I could hit the floor on another stumble. Then he hefted me gently against his chest and hooked an arm under my knees, obviously not having the same reservations that Edward did. I noticed he was shaking slightly but this time it wasn't from anger. I threw my arm around him tightly and burrowed my face into his searing hot chest, letting my eyes _finally_ drift close.

_So much better, _I thought_, now I could breathe right. _

**JPOV**

The relief at seeing Bella alive and breathing just yards from where I stood almost knocked me over. I wanted to cry and yell at the same time. Mostly, I just wanted to hug her and hold her. I almost took the first step when I remembered she wasn't alone. The Cullens were surrounding her and _he_ was holding onto her as if he had the right. I couldn't believe she was taking him back as if the past seven months had never happened. As if our kiss had never happened.

I wasn't really surprised though. Deep down, I had known she would always choose him over me if she was given the option. It just hurt so bad that I wanted to curl in on myself and let the pain take over. I couldn't though, not now, maybe later when I was alone but for now there was business to attend to. I schooled my features into a calm mask as the leech pulled Bella behind him. As if _I_ would hurt her. He was the one who had left her for dead in the woods!

Just then, I saw Bella stagger away from him. She didn't even look back at the leeches as she stumbled towards me. It looked like there was something wrong with her, the way she was moving. But I was too focused on the fact that she was walking _towards me_. Actually, it was more like she was running. Her eyes came up to mine and the feelings I had been suppressing slammed through me.

Bella, my Bells was _alive_! I had wanted to hold her for days ever since she left, just to make sure she was okay. I wanted to crush her against me so I could feel her heartbeat and reassure myself that she was real. I wanted to bury my face in her neck and cry because I had been so scared. And I wanted to kiss her, the way she had kissed me but softer, without the desperate edge of panic. And longer, way longer.

I couldn't believe she was actually choosing me. I had seen firsthand how much she had loved him. How much she would have given to have him back. And now she did have him back but she was picking me anyways. I was in awe and it kept me frozen to the spot, staring at her fumbling attempt to reach me.

Then her eyes met mine. They were desperate…for me. She had a look in her eye that I recognized as need…for me. I jolted into motion and was reaching for her in moments, catching her and hauling her tightly against me. Her body melted into mine and I was so lost in the feeling of Bella that I was shaking. Her face buried into my chest and I dropped my face into the curve of her neck, letting out a sobbing breath. I ignored the sighs of the onlookers who thought this was a lovers' reunion.

I never wanted to let go. But I had to, I realized after a moment. I needed to talk to the leeches and I needed to get her out of her. Charlie was beside himself with worry and she clearly needed sleep.

"Bells, honey?" I whispered to her in an unsteady voice even though I knew the whole pack and the leeches could hear me anyways. "I need to take care of something quickly but I'll be right back, then I'll take you home."

"No! Don't go Jake! 'Sides, I am home. _This_ is home." Her words went straight through me and landed with a thud in my heart. She tightened her arms around me as if to prove a point. She was home, she'd said, she was home here with me, _in my arms_. I groaned and dropped my forehead to hers, ignoring everything but her for a moment. I wished we were alone for this with all the time in the world and nothing to focus on but us. Sadly, this wasn't the case.

"That's right, and don't you forget it." I whispered achingly, touching my lips to her forehead gently. "I'll make it fast, I promise." I turned and walked the short distance back to the pack. They were all looking at Bella with affection and surprise as well (they thought she'd choose the bloodsuckers over us). They also looked a bit smug when they glared at the Cullens.

Even Paul was glancing at Bella with a softer expression and maybe even a bit of protectiveness, which is why I handed her over to him even though she probably would have been more comfortable with Embry. I was still reluctant to let go though, afraid she would disappear the moment I turned around.

"Just go, kid. I'll give her back as soon as you're finished with the leeches and we can get out of here. What the hell's wrong with her anyways? She looks sick." I peeked at her worriedly for another moment before nodding at Sam that I was ready.

"I don't know, but I'm going to find out."

Sam and I walked swiftly across the terminal to the Cullens who looked shocked. Probably because of Bella and me. They would have heard and seen everything and I was ridiculously pleased about that. I stopped myself before a goofy grin could stretch across my face. Was it immature that I wanted to brag and then point and laugh in their faces? Yeah, probably.

As we got closer to them though, all humor vanished and was replaced with hatred. They had hurt Bella beyond repair and they didn't just leave it at that. How many times had they put her life in danger? Personally, I'd lost count. I wanted to hurt them as badly as they hurt her but I also knew that wasn't an option. If we attacked them, there would be pack casualties and that wasn't a risk we wanted to take. We stopped about five feet away from them; the smell was unbearable.

"Who is your leader?" Sam's voice was calm and thick with authority. He really was a great Alpha. I'd never have been able to be that professional with a bloodsucker, no matter what their diet was.

"I am." The doctor that I recognized as Carlisle Cullen stepped forward to face Sam. "I assume you are the chief of the Quileute pack?"

* * *

Tell me if yah liked it! And I need ideas so feel free to tell me what you want to see happen in the future. Did Bella do okay or are you still mad at her for leaving Jake?

;)

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	9. Car rides and nightmares

**AN- I'm sososososo sorry this took so long. I had to finish applying to college this week! It won't happen again, I promise! From now on, I'll stick to my updating every 3 to 4 days. And to make up for it, I'll post another chapter tomorrow. Sorry this one doesn't have a lot of romance, but tomorrow's chapter nwill be filled with it! Read and review! Give me ideas and tell me what you want to see happen!**

**Disclaimer: The only thing I own is copy of Twilight that I've read so much it's falling apart.**

**JPOV**

"Who is your leader?" Sam's voice was calm and thick with authority. He really was a great Alpha. I'd never have been able to be that professional with a bloodsucker, no matter what their diet was.

"I am." The doctor that I recognized as Carlisle Cullen stepped forward to face Sam. "I assume you are leader of the Quileute pack?"

"That's correct. I guess that if you're all here in Port Angeles then you plan on returning to Forks?" Sam's voice held just a trace of bitterness that I doubted they picked up on. But I heard it and it made me feel a little smug. Maybe Sam wasn't so indifferent after all.

"For now, yes but given the…situation…with Bella we have yet to decide if it will be permanent." I snorted at this with derision.

"Situation? Oh, do you mean that she isn't welcoming you back with open arms? What the hell did you expect, you left her for dead!" I was vibrating slightly from anger and the vampires tensed up a bit. I forced myself to calm down.

"Well, we could only hope." Carlisle smiled kindly at me which only pissed me off more. "And I know this won't make a difference and cannot even come close to an apology but we had no idea that Victoria would go after Bella. Of course, we would have never left her unprotected had we even the slightest indication of her plans."

I nodded, feeling a teeny bit less like murdering them. I forced myself to make eye contact with the very bane of my existence. Edward Cullen. He was staring back at me with a pained expression that was at complete odds with the words he spoke to me.

"I want to thank you, Jacob. For protecting Bella when I was not here to take responsibility for the problems I created for her. I will owe you for the rest of my…existence." I watched him, waiting for the punch line but none came.

"I didn't do it for you." I finally mumbled.

"I am grateful nonetheless." I gave a stiff nod wishing I could tell him to just shut up. I didn't want to hear about his concern for Bella, if he'd had any then she wouldn't have had to go save his sorry ass.

Shit! He can hear this. _Goddamn telepathy_! I thought I saw the leech smile slightly at that.

"As for the reason we're here, we wished to speak to you about the treaty. For the duration of your time in Forks, we would like to re-establish the previously agreed upon terms. We wish no quarrel with you but we would like you to take into account that there is an enemy trying to break through our ranks. If you stay and the treaty is resurrected than we cannot protect Forks and therefore Bella."

I shot Sam an angry glance. He had conveniently not thought about that particular aspect when we had been phased. Probably to keep me from arguing.

"We can protect Forks and Bella." The leader, Carlisle answered. It only took that much to get the rage boiling hot inside me again. I took an angry step towards them before Sam's alpha command stopped me short.

"Jacob! You will not initiate a fight unless you are in danger of being hurt!" I fell back into line with Sam against my will. I was annoyed and embarrassed.

Annoyed because I was desperately wanted to punch something and embarrassed because I had just been reprimanded like a child in front of the bloodsuckers.

"Yeah, yeah, I got it. Then can you _kindly_ inform the Cullens that _we_ will be protecting Bella. Treaty or no treaty, Sam." If he fought me on this, we were going to have problems. I didn't want to be Alpha but if… Edward eyed me curiously and I curse mentally. I didn't want them to know that I was shucking my responsibilities as Alpha!

Sam nodded at me.

"You heard him. We will be responsible for Bella's safety so we would like to revise the treaty to grant us that right even when she's in Forks."

"No!" It was the pixie one who had started all this crap when she came back. Alice, I think her name was. I hated her almost as much as _him_ because she made Bella leave me, even if it was only temporary. "We love Bella and you aren't as capable as us-"

"We are capable of handling one vengeful leech! Don't insult us like-" I was just getting warmed up but the Alpha order stopped me mid-yell. The pixie leech laughed at me which only made me angrier.

"The why isn't she dead yet? Why Victoria _still_ endangering Bella?"

"Stay away from Bella!" I finally exploded, fighting Sam's vague order. My frame was beginning to shake and everyone tensed. "Don't even say her name!"

"Jacob, if this is too personal for you then go back to the pack. I'll understand and besides, Bella needs you." My shaking stopped when I thought of her and I glanced automatically to find her. Bella was drifting in and out of consciousness against Paul's chest. She was fidgeting nervously and her body was still tense. But she was alive.

All the tension went out of me. _Bella._ What did I care about these stupid vampires as long as she was okay and we were together? We'd protect her and the Cullens would go away and I'd finally have her all to myself. I was smiling slightly when I turned back to face Sam and the vamps.

"No, I'm okay. Let's just hurry this up so I can call Charlie and get her home. What the hell's wrong with her anyways? She's acting like a zombie."

"Lack of sleep. She's been awake for three solid days."

"Three days? You're saying Bella hasn't slept since she left?" Alice had the decency to look ashamed about that and I let out an aggravated sigh. "Okay, she needs to sleep, now. Can we figure this out tomorrow?"

"Yes, it's probably better not to do this here anyways." Carlisle spoke calmly and gestured to the crowded terminal. We had gathered a bit of an audience. "How about tomorrow night at the line? Say, midnight?"

"We'll be there." Sam agreed and turned to leave. I looked at Edward once more before following.

_She's mine now. _I thought in my head. Then I went to get her.

Bella was reaching for me when I got within reach. I smiled warmly at her and held my arms out for Paul to hand her over. My hand were aching to feel her again.

"I don't know if I wanna give her back yet. She's kind of cute, even if she is pale." Paul teased, trying to lighten the mood. I rolled my eyes.

"Get your own, Paul." He laughed and placed her gently in my arms. She curled softly against me and I could feel her instantly relax.

"Jacob," She mumbled as she buried her face in the crook of my neck and shoulder.

"Okaaaaay," It was Embry. He looked happy for me but it hands were shaking slightly. Right, too close to vampires. "Let's get out of here."

We made out way out to the street and towards the Rabbit that we had parked illegally on the curb. Well, we _were_ in a bit of a hurry. I mean, we had just learned that there was an incoming flight from Europe and if the vamps and Bella were coming back any time soon it would be on that flight, we hurried to Port Angeles.

"I'll drive," It was Embry again. He looked calmer now that we were outside, the shaking had subsided. Which was good because if he phased in the Rabbit, I would be royally pissed!

"The rest of us will run alongside the highway, in the woods. Just in case. Meet you in Forks?" I shook my head at Sam. There was no way I was taking Bella somewhere that I couldn't personally look after her.

"No. The treaty won't be changed until tomorrow so tonight she's coming to La Push." This statement was met with raised eyebrows and smirks. Sometimes I forgot that they weren't just werewolves that I hung out with. They were still teenage guys. With dirty minds. I shook my head annoyed.

"Let's just get out of here. I'll call Billy on the way and he can figure things out with Charlie." I handed Bella to Embry than slid into the backseat. He passed her back to me and I placed her carefully in my lap so she could sleep on the way.

And so I could hold her.

Embry got in the driver seat and the rest of the pack slipped out of sight. He handed me Jared's cell (he was the only pack member who could afford one) and pulled out into traffic.

I dialed the house, knowing it was grossly late. Billy didn't answer the first call so I hung up and dialed again. He probably had to get himself into his chair and roll into the kitchen first. He answered on the fourth ring, sounding sleepy and annoyed.

"Hello?"

"Dad, it's me." Billy was instantly alert.

"Jake? What's going on? Is everyone alright?"

"Everyone's okay. Everything is fine. Actually it's more than fine. I have Bella." I was whispering, hoping not to wake her. "I'm bringing her to our place."

"Jacob, I know how much you care about her and how happy you are that she's okay but Charlie's worried sick. You need to take her home."

"It's not like that! The Cullens are back and the treaty says I can't protect her while they're here. Call Charlie tell him Bella's okay but she's staying at our place tonight. We're fixing the problem tomorrow and she can go home." Billy let out a long-winded sigh but agreed. He hung up so he could call Charlie.

The car was silent for a while then. Bella slept fitfully, obviously having unpleasant dreams. She mumbled things like "blood" and "death" which was making me extremely nervous. She started thrashing around and her breathing accelerated until she let out a horrified scream.

"Bells! Wake up! It's just a nightmare, wake up!" I shook her lightly as Embry looked nervously over his shoulder. She finally startled awake and looked around frantically, trying to get free of my grasp. I let go, knowing she needed space.

"Where am I?"

"The car, we're going home, you're safe now." I brushed a hand over her hair as I spoke, trying to soothe her. "It was a nightmare. You want to talk about it?"

"Just reliving Italy, I guess." I narrowed my eyes at her.

"What happened over there?" She was calm now and to my surprised pleasure, she climbed her way back onto my lap so she could rest her head on me.

"There were a lot of vampires, and they were all super strong and had crazy powers. They're the vampire government I guess. They brought us underground and they wanted to kill me, then they tried all their gifts on me, then they wanted to turn me…"

"What?" I exploded, making her jump. They had tried to kill her and turn her? And what does that mean, they tried their _powers_ on her? I needed to calm down. Bella needed me to be calm. "Okay, what else?"

"Then Edward talked us into freedom. But before we left…" She was crying softly and I felt helpless. I brushed the hair out of her face and rubbed her back wishing I could make her feel better. "They killed them. All of them."

"Who?" I asked frozen. "Who killed who?"

"The vampires. They killed all of them! There was little children and happy couples and an elderly woman with a rosary!" She was sobbing on me now. "I heard the screams!" I couldn't even comfort her now. I was shaking and horrified. Embry's knuckles had gone white on the steering wheel. _They killed kids_? IU wanted to tear something apart but of course I couldn't.

And poor Bella. She had seen them. Heard them die! No wonder she was having gory nightmares. She was having an emotional breakdown, her tears soaking my shirt.

"Shhh, it's over now. You're never going to have to see vampires or tragedy ever again. I promise. You won't get hurt, I won't let you. You're safe now." Her sobs were slowing and her trembles were becoming less intense. I continued to whisper to her and rub circles on her back. "Shhh, easy Bells, just go back to sleep. You can worry about it tomorrow but for now you need to rest."

And after another minute or two she was fast asleep. And sleeping soundly. So I hid my face in her hair and tried to soothe myself.

It didn't take long to get to our house. Embry pulled in and I groaned when I saw the cruiser in out driveway.

I didn't feel like dealing with Charlie tonight.

I was careful not to jostle the exhausted bundle in my arms as I got out of the car. Embry was shaking slightly as he faced me in the driveway.

"I gotta go, dude. I've been fighting the phase since Bella told her little story." I nodded, I completely understood.

"Thanks, Emb. I owe you."

"Anytime. And I'm happy for you. For you and Bella." With that, he was gone.

I had just started up the driveway when the door burst open. Charlie's expression mirrored the way I had felt when I'd first seen Bella at the airport. Relief, anger and an overwhelming amount of love. He was in front of me in seconds.

"Bella! What's wrong with her?" He demanded, taking his anger out on me. He was reaching for her but I stepped out of his reach.

"She's okay, Chief! Just exhausted. This is the first time she's slept since she left for Italy. I'm just going to bring her inside then I'll explain everything."

Charlie looked like he was going to argue but in the end just moved to let me pass. Trusting me to take care of his daughter.

* * *

Review! Tell me what you want to happen in the story and with Jake/Bella!


	10. Wake up calls

**AN- I know this was supposed to be up yesterday but itr was mentioned that my chapters are too short so I made this one a little longer. I hope you guys like it!**

**Oh and thankyou thankyou thankyou for the reviews! They make me love writing this story! You guys are the best! ;)**

**Disclaimer: Twilight belongs to SM, I just like to play with the characters.**

**JPOV**

I walked past an exasperated Billy in the kitchen. Clearly, dealing with Charlie hadn't been easy. I could only imagine that he had been going crazy waiting for his daughter to come home after worrying endlessly for days. I knew the feeling.

Charlie was right on my heels as I walked to my room and pulled the blankets back on my bed so I could lay Bella down. As soon as I let her go her brow knit in confused frustration and her hands reached to find me.

"Jake?" She still seemed to be sleeping but I could tell she was close to waking up. I didn't want that. I wanted her to get some much needed rest.

But it still gave me a surge of male pride that she missed my touch while she slept.

I brushed a hand over her cheek to get rid of her worry, not caring that Charlie was watching me curiously.

"Sleep, Bells. Everything's okay." I whispered before tucking the blanket around her. I liked that sight. Bella in my room, _in my bed_. It was something I could easily get used to. But, I was getting ahead of myself. I didn't even know where the two of us stood with everything that had happened. Maybe we were still stuck in the "just friends" category. We definitely needed to talk.

Charlie followed me out to the kitchen where Billy was waiting for us. He leaned against the counter and crossed his arms. He wanted an explanation.

_Here we go._

"Okay, so as you know Bella went to help Edward when he was in _trouble_." My voice got extremely bitter at the end. Charlie nodded, looking pissed. "So her and the sister ran off to save the prick."

"Save him from what?" Charlie was Chief Swan now, and I was being interrogated. It wasn't exactly comforting, knowing that I'd have to lie my way through this.

_Might as well keep it as close to the truth as possible_.

"He was threatening to kill himself. I guess his sister said that Bella was a complete wreck over him and he felt guilty and some other bullshit-uh-crap. So he was going to off himself, supposedly. I think he just wanted attention and for Bella to come chasing after him."

"That sorry son-of-a-" Charlie started to yell. Then, remembering Bella sleeping down the hall, stopped short. He was visibly fuming.

"Yeah," I agreed.

"So then what? Where'd she go?" _Uh, shit._

"California." I blurted and Charlie turned a whole new shade of red. Shit, shit! I should have kept it closer to home. Bella was going to be grounded for the rest of her life!

"She went to California?" His eyes looked like they would bulge out of his head which would have been comical if it hadn't been so serious. Bella was going to _kill me_!

"Well yeah. But what was she supposed to do? Imagine her thinking she was about to be responsible for someone's death? And she felt like she was fighting the clock the whole time and worrying that she would be too late. This seriously messed her up, Charlie. She was a nervous wreck when she got home with _him_."

Charlie's fists were clenching and unclenching. His face was bright red with fury and he was breathing heavy. I gave him a minute to collect himself. I really hoped he wasn't going to explode in the kitchen.

"Then what?"

"She got to him and told him not to kill himself, that she was okay. Basically talked the jerk out of killing himself. Which I doubted he ever actually planned on doing in the first place. Then they all flew back here. He was all over her in the airport as if they were back together!" I hadn't meant to say that but I was still bitter about it and it came out in a disgusted tone. Charlie's eyes narrowed.

"Are they? Back together?"

"_Definitely not_!" I retorted angrily. Charlie held his hands up in apology. "No, I'm sorry Charlie. It's just a touchy subject for me. Anyways, Bella's friend called me and told me she was coming home tonight. So I went to get her."

"Bella's friend?"

"Uh, Angela, I think it was." _Shit, I suck at lying! Bella does have a friend Angela, right?_

"No offense, Jake, but why would she call you?"

"Uh, well…" _Think Jake, think! _"Well, she didn't want to get Bella into anymore trouble than she was already in and plus she knows you're the Chief of Police and was afraid you'd like arrest Edward or something. But she was worried about her so she, uh, called me."

"Did Bella know you were coming to get her?"

"No," I smiled at him ruefully. "But she was certainly happy to see me. I don't think she wanted to go in the first place, Charlie. She just didn't see another option; he didn't giver her one. Don't be too hard on her. She's been through a lot."

"No, I won't. It's _him_ that should be paying for this. Of course, Bella _is_ going to get grounded for a while. It was irresponsible of her to run off like that. She should have come to me about it!" I nodded, even though I knew why Bella couldn't have gone to him about it. "And why did you feel the need to bring her back here instead of home?"

I shot Billy an annoyed glance for not coming up with a story for me. I didn't have an answer. Charlie's eyes narrowed.

"I know you, uh,…_care_…for my daughter, Jacob. But that doesn't give you the right to-"

"No, Charlie! I only brought her here because they're back in town. The Cullens, I mean. And I was afraid he'd try to go see her. Not that you can't keep him away, I don't mean it like that… but even if he showed up and she saw him or heard him. I just wanted her to get some undisturbed rest and a chance to recover before she has to deal with things. She hasn't slept in days and it seemed like a good idea for her to do it here."

I finished my rant quickly, hoping Charlie understood it. And that he believed it. If he took Bella home then I'd be going too. He scrutinized me for a minute before nodding his consent.

"Okay, I trust you. I'll be back tomorrow to get her. Just call me when she wakes up." I nodded and Charlie said goodnight to Billy who was barely awake. Charlie gestured for me to follow him outside.

I shut the door quietly behind us, hoping Charlie didn't plan on screaming at me. I was way too tired to fake a remorseful expression. To my surprise, he held out his hand. I grasped it without hesitation and we shook.

"I want to thank you,"

"Not necessary. As you said, I care about Bella."

"I know but I need to get this said." Charlie looked embarrassed and I shut up so he could get it over with. "I want to thank you for getting Bella tonight and taking care of her, but I also want to thank you for everything else. Bella was, well… she wasn't _okay_ until she started hanging out with you. You fixed something in her and well, just, thank you, kid, for taking care of her. I owe you a lot." If it was possible, I felt a little taller after his speech.

"Bella's tough. She'll be okay. And like I said before, you don't need to thank me. I want her to be happy and I'd do anything to keep her that way."

"You and me both, kid. Goodnight Jake."

"Goodnight Charlie."

"Oh and Jake? Keep your hands off of my daughter tonight." I laughed.

_Not gonna happen, Chief. Not if I have a say in it._

"You got it, Chief."

I was about to head back inside. Back to my room. Back to Bella. Except then I saw a dark figure coming out of the woods.

**SPOV**

"It's just me, Jacob." I told him as I approached. He stood on the steps after Charlie left, looking alert but I could see the exhaustion in his features and the way he held his body. It had been a long few days for him. The pack knew that from being in his head. I'd never forget the feelings that had coursed through him when he'd first phased after Bella left.

We had been patrolling, as usual, save for Jared and Embry who were driving back to La Push after Jacob ditched them to comfort Bella. But when they heard his tortured howl, they had pulled over and phased to see what was wrong.

Then we were all witness to his pain.

He had been incoherent with panic, his thoughts a terrified mess. We had probably made it worse, yelling in his mind, demanding answers. Eventually I had ordered the rest of them to be quiet and we listened to Jacob's internal agony, trying to make sense of it.

_She's dying! They're going to kill her. God I hate that fucking leech. They'll drain her of blood. No more clumsy, smiling, warm, alive- No, no, no, no! Please no! I need her, I love her!_

Then we understood the root of his mindless terror. Bella.

It didn't take much longer to decipher the gist of the situation. The leech was threatening to kill himself and she was going to Italy to save him. With full knowledge that she was probably not going to come back.

Then he started reliving the last moments with her, in vivid detail.

The way he had leaned in to kiss her and she hadn't pushed him away. Then the phone call and his rage at the interruption. Her decision to leave. The way he had begged her to stay. Pleaded with her to chose life. For him.

Then the way she kissed him.

We were all shocked at that. How could she do that as she left for someone else? It had been selfish of her. It had _killed_ Jacob. To finally have her, _all of her_, and then to get it all ripped away from him. The he'd remembered watching her run away. Run towards her death. Gone, forever and Jacob had been left to watch helplessly.

There had been agony. Embry had to phase out because he couldn't take the intensity of his friend's pain. None of us could. So I had ordered Jacob to phase back and get to Emily's before he did something stupid. His jumbled mind hadn't understood but his wolf body had automatically obeyed.

We'd ended up at Emily's kitchen table. All of us watching him cautiously as his body shook and his breathing choked out and he mumbled out unintelligible words.

He'd cried. No, he'd _sobbed_. The pack had left to give him privacy and I watched while Emily tried, in vain, to comfort him. It was useless. To him, Bella's death sentence was signed and she was lost to him forever.

I'd hated her at that moment. Jacob was so strong and happy and whole! And she'd broken him, in a way that had been irreparable. Or so I'd thought.

He'd pulled himself together the next day. Enough to eat and explain rationally what had happened. He was still a wreck but he was managing. When we phased we knew that it was because he wanted to be strong for Bella and that he wasn't giving up hope. Then we'd heard that there was incoming flight from Europe to Port Angeles the following night.

Jake had come back even more then. He was anxious and scared but he was being strong and even without phasing we knew his strength was for her. We went with him to the airport, saying that we needed to talk to the Cullens, which we had, but it was mostly to support him.

When we saw her there was a collective sigh of relief. We were obviously relieved that she was alive, I mean we did like her and she was part of the family, but also because we knew that Jacob would be okay. I don't think he would have recovered from her death.

Then she'd started running to him and I saw that he actually was fixed. All the damage that had been done, all the pain, was erased when he'd caught hold of her. And I'd forgiven her. It was hard to blame her for risking her life to save another. Even if he was a leech.

But I still needed to talk to Jacob. Man to man.

"Oh hey, Sam. What are you doing here?" He met me halfway up the lawn, looking concerned but happy nonetheless. I smiled slightly.

"Everything's fine. I just wanted to see how you were, uh, holding up? Are you okay?" I wasn't much for the emotional stuff but I was Alpha so it came with the turf. Jacob laughed at my discomfort and I scowled at him.

"I'm good, Sam." He said with a grin. "Really, in fact, I'm fantastic." His grin was so carefree and genuine. I hadn't seen that a lot lately. He used to smile like that before he'd phased and sometimes I'd see him smile like that with Bella or Embry but they were rare. I smiled back.

"I'm glad. We were worried about you. And I just want to make sure you know what you're doing…with Bella I mean." He looked confused so I elaborated. "She's caused you a lot of pain in the past. I just want to know if you're willing to risk more grief by keeping her around."

"Are you kidding? Is this a _joke_?" He scoffed at me, disgusted. "The only grief has been because of what I am and what _he_ is. Bella's just had the shitty luck of getting caught in the middle. She's the _only_ thing that makes all of this worth it, Sam."

I nodded. I understood. It was like that with me and Emily.

"Okay, just be careful kid."

**JPOV**

I tried not to be annoyed with Sam as I went to my room. Truthfully, it was hard to be annoyed about anything tonight. So, I let it go. He was just trying to look out for me after all. I realized just how exhausted I was when I thought about finally going to sleep. I hadn't been sleeping right since Bella had left and I was looking forward to getting some peaceful shut eye.

I opened my door quietly and felt my heart get that fuzzy, warm feeling I associated with Bella. She was bundled in my blankets, curled into a little ball on her side. One hand was hanging off the bed limply and the other was curled into a loose fist on the pillow. She was dead to the world. _Good_.

I grabbed one of the pillows off the bed and threw it on the floor. I laid down on the ground, not caring where I slept as long as it was near Bella. I thought fleetingly about climbing in bed with her but I didn't want to freak her out or overstep boundaries, so the floor it was.

I closed my eyes, feeling the haze of drowsiness pulling me under. I reached my hand out, searching blindly for hers. When I found it, I grasped tightly. I wanted to know she was real and here with me. Safe and warm and alive.

_My Bella._

I fell asleep to the sound of her heartbeat and the soft rhythm of her breathing.

**BPOV**

I woke up feeling disoriented. I couldn't remember where I was or how I'd gotten here. I started to panic. I tried to keep my breaths even and controlled as I sorted through the chaos in my head.

I looked around and quickly identified my messy surroundings as Jacob's room. _What? Why was I here?_

I remembered going to Italy and the plane ride home, though it was blurry from my exhaustion. We'd gotten to Port Angeles and the pack had been there! I'd wanted to see Jake, needed to. So I'd left the Cullens…

Wait, wait, wait! I left the Cullens?

Why would I do that? I love them! I love Edward! And I'd finally had them back even if it was only temporary. I remembered the rest of the night in pieces, but what stuck out the most was the expression on Edward's face when I'd demanded he let go of me. He had been deeply hurt and betrayed. I felt like I was going to be ill. _What had I done?_

I sat up in bed, ignoring how achy my limbs were from the past week. It wasn't important compared to the disaster I had created. I went to run my fingers through my messy hair but my right hand was anchored to the ground. Feeling more confused than ever, I peered over the edge of the bed.

Jacob was sprawled out across the floor on his stomach. He was snoring lightly and he had my hand tucked in his under his chin like a stuffed animal. I smiled warmly. I loved seeing Jacob like this; all innocent and carefree. He worried too much; he needed to have more fun. I'd personally make sure he had more fun.

And just like that, my freak out session was over. Jacob was here and he would keep everything from falling apart the way he always did. I'd be okay, no matter what, as long as I had my very best friend in the world with me. We'd already proved that countless times. I'd figure everything out with the Cullens and I'd sort through the mixed feelings I had but it could wait. Right now, I just wanted to forget everything except making Jake happy.

But first, I needed my hand back.

I gave it a slight tug, trying to be gentle so Jacob could keep sleeping but he didn't want to let go. The more I pulled, the harder he held on. Finally, in annoyance I gave one final tug with all my strength. He didn't let go but it did wake him up slightly.

"Hmpph?" He groaned without opening his eyes. Then he rolled around to face the other way, taking my hand with him. Considering my hand was attached to my arm and my arm was attached to the rest of me, I went too.

I was pulled off the bed and landed on Jacob's chest with a thud that knocked the wind out of me. Jacob gave a low grunt and opened his eyes.

"Bella?" He whispered sleepily. He looked pleasantly surprised to have woken up to me sprawled on top of him. I narrowed my eyes. "What are you doing down here?"

"I had been up there but you were hanging on to me when you'd rolled over so, yeah." I was uncomfortable, being so close to Jacob's bare chest like this. Not to mention the fact that we were in a slightly inappropriate position.

"Oh, sorry." He gave me a sleepy grin that didn't look sorry at all and he wrapped an arm around my waist, preventing escape. I sent him a dirty look only to discover he'd shut his eyes again.

"Jacob Black, do not go back to sleep! I'll be stuck like this until you decide to join the world of the living again!"

"Please, Bella!" he whined already drifting off. "I'm so tired!"

"You can go back to sleep, you just have to release you're death grip on me first!" As I said this I tried prying myself free. He wasn't budging.

"I won't be able to sleep if you're not here. I'll be worrying until the treaty is fixed. And…and…" He sounded like a little kid again stuttering out his fears. He kept his eyes forcibly shut.

"And what, Jake?" I asked gently. I hated it when he was upset, but especially when it was my fault.

"How will I know you'll still be here when I wake up?" Now, I felt like crap. I knew I'd abandoned him but I hadn't really had a choice! But still, I hated knowing that he'd lost confidence in me. I relaxed into his arms, admitting defeat. He was waiting silently, his body no longer relaxed but he was still adamantly refusing to open his eyes and look at me. I sighed.

"Can we at least move to the bed?" _That_ got his eyes open. He stared at me in disbelief, all traced of drowsiness gone. "This isn't exactly comfortable, you know?"

Jacob nodded mutely at me and finally let go of me. I stood up, feeling self-conscious and slid silently back into Jacob's bed, scooting as close to the wall as I could get. He stood next to the bed for one dumbfounded moment before eagerly following me. The bed was small, too small for the both of us and we were crammed in tight.

I lay on my side, facing the wall and from what I could tell; Jacob was lying stiffly on his back. We were both too nervous to move. My heartbeat was thudding a mile a minute and I had no idea why. I knew Jacob could hear it, I wondered what he thought about it.

I shifted uncomfortably.

Silence.

Jacob tried to re-adjust.

More silence.

I finally gave up and turned to a surprised Jacob, getting as close to him as necessary in order for my own comfort. I ignored his raised eyebrows and glowing expression. I also ignored the warmth that spread through my whole body at his proximity.

"Do what you need to in order to be comfortable, Jacob. It's fine, just get some sleep okay?" So, with my permission, Jacob took complete advantage of the situation. He pulled his arms around me and held me as close to his body as possible, tangling our legs and rested his head on the top of mine.

I didn't have to see his face to know that he was grinning.

* * *

Okay, you guys know the drill: Did you like it? Hate it? Have any ideas? Just wanna say hi? Review!

And I'll probably update again before Christmas but if I don't, Happy Holidays!


	11. When did I take my pants off?

**AN- Okay sorry about how long this took. The holidays were crazy and then I got a new laptop (YAY!) so I had to get a new microsoft word program and install it and help my sister get ready for her trip to Egypt. Yeah, life got in the way. But here it is and I have the rest of the week to do nothing but write so the next chapter will be up before the weekend and it will be loooooong! Hope you like it! And thanks to all my reviewers, as usual you make me love writing!**

**Disclaimer: If I owned Twilight, Bella and Jake would be married with puppies. **

**JPOV**

I woke up to the smell of strawberry shampoo and a scent that was unique to Bella. I tightened my arms and felt her stir slightly against me. Joy surged through me. It was easy to pretend that Bella was here, sleeping so close to me we were practically on top of each other, because she wanted to be. Not just out of necessity.

But who knows? Maybe she actually liked being in my arms, being close to me. Touching me. I know _I_ liked doing those things to her. Could she have possibly used the getting comfortable thing as an excuse to be near me? It didn't make much sense because she knows all she would need to do is ask. But then again, Bella is shy so it might be possible…

I was torn out of my inner musings by the sound of footsteps coming down the hall to my room. Then I heard Quil say something and Embry's voice reply.

_No, no, no! Not now_! I wanted to stay in this position for as long as humanely possible. I wanted to stay in my fantasy world where I could pretend that Bella loved me. Then I wanted to wake up slowly with her and say good-morning when she was still warm and sleepy.

I closed my eyes and nuzzled my face back into the crook of Bella's neck and shoulder, trying to ignore Quil and Embry. But inevitably they reached my door and threw it open noisily. Bella made a mumbled sound but didn't fully wake up. I glanced at my friends and smiled at their expression. Their eyes were wide with shock and their mouths were hanging open. _It didn't look that bad, did it?_

I glanced down at out intertwined bodies and a burning kind of heat started in my stomach. The blankets had been pushed to the end of the bed and in her sleep Bella had moved closer, presumably to keep warm. Her arms were wrapped tightly around my torso and one of her hands was gripping my bicep. Her leg was hitched over my hip and one of my thighs had slid provocatively between both of Bella's.

And then I saw the greatest sight of my short sixteen years on this planet.

Bella Swan was _not wearing pants_.

And just like that I was hard as rock and it was the sweetest torture with her thigh hooked over my hip like that. She must have taken them off at some point to try and get comfortable.

"Dude! Details, now!" Embry hooted, grinning like an idiot and pulling me out of my hormone trance. Quil was too busy staring at Bella's legs to process much of anything. Her shirt was thankfully long enough that it covered her bottom but it was still more of my Bella than I wanted him to see. More than I wanted _anyone_ else too see for that matter.

I was about to yell at Quil and tell them both to get out so I could thoroughly enjoy the best morning of my life without interruption but Bella mumbled again and her breathing changed. She was waking up.

"Get out, now!" I whisper-shouted but it was too late. Bella's eyes opened and she didn't seem surprised at where she found herself. She gave me the sweetest sleepy smile that made my heart melt. I returned it immediately. I would have brushed the hair our of her face but I was not moving my hands from their glorious position on her hips until someone pried them off.

"G'morning" Bella whispered still half-asleep and therefore not having many inhibitions. To my intense delight she snuggled back in and gave a sigh of contentment.

"Good morning sleeping beauty!" Embry called loudly. Bella stiffened immediately and I cursed under my breath. I was going to literally kill Embry for this. Her eyes opened again and she was fully alert now. She looked down in shock at our bodies and let out a little gasp as her face and neck turned bright red.

The look on her face would have been comical as she tore away from me and jumped out of bed, except I missed the feeling of her soft body too much to see the humor. Bella stood mortified and confused in front of my two idiot friends, at a loss for what to do.

"I, uhm, I was sleeping." Bella explained in a small voice, refusing to make eye contact with anyone. So she looked down…and saw her bare legs.

"Wha-my pants!" Her eyes were wide as saucers and Embry and Quil were on the verge of tears in hysterics.

In a panic, Bella dove back onto the bed and it was my turn to be speechless as she then clambered over me trying to get to the far side of the bed. Bella and her beautifully bare legs were on top of me as she struggled to get out of the guy's view. The skin contact was almost too much for my already aroused body. I let out pained whimper as she finally got to the other side of the bed.

Then as if that wasn't enough protection for Quil and Embry's inappropriate staring, she hooked a hand around my belt loop and hauled me almost on top of her, like a blanket. Didn't she realize there was one bunched at the end of the bed? Not that I was complaining or anything.

I caught myself with my elbows, suspended above her, before my weight could crush down on her. Then I forgot everything.

We were so close, our faces mere inches apart. All I had to do was lean down and we'd be kissing. Her soft lips would finally, _finally_ be moving with mine. All I had to do was close those few inches.

Bella seemed to have forgotten her embarrassment from a moment ago and her eyes were dark with some emotion I couldn't name. Her gaze transferred to my lips for a moment and she subconsciously wet her lips. I nearly lost it.

"Quil, Embry. Get out." I ordered my voice sounding low and huskier than usual. Bella had just made a mistake in her plan to keep things platonic. She had accidently let me know she _wanted_ to be more. She had looked at my lips in the same way I looked at hers on a daily basis. A look that says "I want."

Well Bella Swan, you're going to get what you asked for even if you didn't know you had asked for it.

"You got it," Embry sounded amused. He dragged a whining, jealous Quil out the door. It shut behind them with a thud.

Bella and I were alone.

I stayed like that for a minute, balancing on my elbows above her with our faces bent close together, breathing the same air. I vaguely heard Quil asking Billy if he knew what sort of things were going on under his roof. It didn't matter though, nothing did except for this girl whose heart was racing as she stared at me.

She wasn't pushing me away.

So I bent my head closer, my own heart thudding wildly. This could be it; our defining moment. This would mean something, and it wouldn't be goodbye like the last one. It would mean that I finally got the girl. And if she gave an inch, I planned on taking miles and miles. If she let me catch hold of her, I would _never_ let go.

I moved closer still, wetting my lips to let her know it was going to happen _now_. She blinked once and her hand came up. Not to stop me, she just laid it on my arm. I paused and stared at it. Her small pale hand against my dark bicep.

I watched in happy confusion as she glided it gently up my arm to my shoulder, her fingers gently traced the tattoo there. I shivered when it continued on its journey to caress my neck. Then she cupped my cheek and I leaned into her hand feeling loved. That was the thing with Bella. I knew she loved me unconditionally, forever, no matter what. I was just sometimes confused on the _type_ of love.

Her thumb brushed lightly against my bottom lip making me feel burning hot. I watched her expression, letting my gaze drift to her soft lips. I wanted to bury my lips against hers and just get lost in her. _And dammit, she wanted it too!_

With that thought in mind I quickly closed the space between us. There shouldn't be anything between us. But my lips were met with her neck. Bella had turned away from me.

I flopped down on the bed next to her, refusing to meet her eyes. I felt hurt and rejected and a little mad.

"Jake-" Bella started one of her many speeches that usually made me feel like I was getting stabbed multiple times so I stopped her.

"Shut up, Bella." I whispered quietly. I threw my arm over my eyes, childishly hiding from her. I felt her gently trying to pull my arm away so I just turned on my side, facing away from her.

"Just let me explain." She pleaded, gently massaging my back. It felt good but I still stubbornly refused to face her.

"No." I said, really pouting now. "I already know what you're going to say."

"I doubt it." She continued to massage my back her touch getting rougher. If I weren't so mad at her I probably would have sighed in pleasure.

"You were going to say, 'Jake, I love you but I'm not in love with you. We're just friends and friends don't make out. So no fun for you.' Or something along those lines."

Bella laughed nervously, her hands still working magic, weakening me towards her. I would always be a slave to Bella's touch. "You're wrong, Jake. No surprised there, you usually are."

Her words were meant to be light and joking but I heard the anxiety behind them and her meaning confused me. So, if that wasn't what she was going to say, than what was it? And why was she so anxious about it?

"I'm listening." I finally conceded, my curiosity and unquenchable hope that she might love me back winning out over my pride.

"Jake, I'm just so confused!" Her voice broke and I softened even more. Bella in pain never went over well with me, but I held strong, refusing to turn back to her. "For months I had been hurting so bad and I was so in love with him even when he was gone-"

"Just stop! You're only hurting us both more." I said angrily, fighting the urge to grab hold of her and comfort us both.

"Stop interrupting!" Bella said peeved, swatting my arm and making me smile despite myself. "Anyways, I had been in a bad place for a long time. I can barely remember those months. They went by in a haze of pain and monotony. Then came you." She took a deep breath and pulled away from me. Giving up, I looked at her.

She was getting off the bed and fumbling around looking for her jeans. When she located them, she clumsily put them on and I watched silently. _She was leaving_, I realized in a panic, _she was running away from me again_.

My hands itched to grab hold of her and make her stay but I was still feeling hurt and my pride had taken a nose-dive. _But, I had just gotten her back!_

"Charlie said to call him when you want to go home but I can drive you if you don't want to wait." _Don't beg her to stay Jacob, don't do it!_

"I thought we could take a walk on the beach while I finish explaining myself… but if you uh, want me to go. I mean, yeah, sure I'd like a ride home. Unless you'd rather me call Charlie…" Bella looked sad and self-conscious and I felt my willpower crumble.

"Let's take that walk." I insisted, getting out of bed and taking her hand. I was mad at her, sure, but she was still Bella and my best friend. So I led her out of my room and down the hall to the kitchen. Billy sat sipping coffee and he raised an eyebrow at us when we entered hand in hand.

"Charlie said to have you call him as soon as you wake up so he can come get you and you're groundation can begin."

"We're just going for a quick walk on the beach. You know, talk about things. We won't be long Dad, please." Billy glanced from a nervous Bella, to an angry me to our hand intertwined despite all that. He rolled his eyes and waved us off.

I pulled Bella outside before he could change his mind and we began walking on the trail in silence. We got to the beach and she still hasn't said anything. This was torture, Bella keeping her thoughts to herself when I so desperately wanted to know what she was thinking.

"When does the explaining start?" I asked a bit harshly. Bella flinched a little.

"Right, sorry. So where was I?"

"You were at the part when I come riding in on my white horse to save you from yourself." I joked trying to lighten the mood. Bella laughed of course and hugged my arm.

"Yeah, I came here one day so you could help me build two-wheeled death machines and I felt happy. You made me smile and I didn't have to force it. I never wanted to leave."

"Yeah," I smiled, remembering the old days. "For the most part you didn't leave but if you did I came with you."

"Exactly! I spent every moment of free time I had with you because you made me feel whole. When I was with you I was alive again and eventually I could be like that even when you weren't around because you were _fixing_ me. I got better, Jake."

It hurt to remember Bella when she had first started coming to my place. But, as she'd said, she healed and I watched the light come back into her eyes. She didn't have to force smiles or fake laughs anymore, they just came naturally. _I fixed her,_ I thought with warm pride.

"Then you left me." Bella stated simply. My pride was doused.

"_What? I never did_!" I retorted vehemently.

"You didn't want to, I know that. But for weeks, I didn't hear anything from you. I had no idea about all this werewolf stuff, Jake. All I knew was that you were gone. I was alone again." I felt like crap. But I had been doing it for her, to keep her safe.

"They told me I couldn't see you! That it wasn't safe for you! Besides, after you came to see me, I couldn't do it anymore. It's the same for me, Bells! Being apart hurts us both, not just you." She nodded but was quiet again.

"What I'm trying to explain is that I've let myself love two people. I've let myself commit to them and give them all I could offer at the time. And both people have told me goodbye for whatever reason. If I let myself love you and then you leave me, I-I don't think I could go through that again."

Now I was angry and it mixed in with the hurt and the hopelessness. I stopped walking and dropped Bella's hand, turning to face her.

"How can you believe I would do that? Bella, you left me too. You left me for another guy, you left me so you could go risk your life and I was left wondering if I'd ever see you again. I couldn't deal with it, I was a wreck. So if you can't put your faith in the fact that I don't want to hurt you then at least have faith that I wouldn't put _myself_ through that kind of pain."

She was quiet a moment, then she nodded. "Okay, but that's not all. I'm also still sorting through the feelings for Edward. I still love him, that doesn't just go away but I don't think I could face him and the thought of leaving this safe haven make me feel sick. But I can't have any time of relationship with you until those feelings go away."

"So you're pushing me away because you still want the blood-sucker?" I asked, letting some acid drip into my voice.

"In a way, I suppose. But I'm here, aren't I? And lastly, I'm scared."

"Of me?" I asked taking a step back as if she'd hit me. Immediately, she moved towards me reaching out to touch my arm.

"Yes, but not like that. I know you'd never hurt me." I relaxed at her touch.

"Then how?" Bella's cheeks were turning bright red and I was so confused.

"I-uhm, oh never mind." She turned away quickly and started walking down he beach. I caught up with her easily, catching her arm and pulling her to face me.

"No way, Bells. You started this soul-search, you finish it." I brushed a hand over her hair. She refused to meet my eyes.

"Okay, but you can't laugh."

"I promise." I agreed with a smile.

"And you have to swear you won't take advantage of what I tell you." I thought about that for a moment, weighing my options.

"No deal, I'm going to use everything I've got to my advantage. But tell me anyways." Bella let out an annoyed sigh, shifting anxiously on the sand. Wht was she so nervous about? This was just me, Jake, her best friend.

"Earlier, when we were in bed and then you kept on leaning in…" She trailed off. I was all ears now, leaning closer to try to see her face.

"Just say it, Bella. When I was about to kiss you…" She was quiet for an endless moment and I was afraid she wasn't going to continue.

"I wanted you to."

_Wait, what?_

_

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_

Sorry, that was a mean place to leave off. I was going to continue on but I decided to ask your opinions first.

Let's take a vote, should Jake get to kiss her next chapter? Or should he have to work for it a little more? It's up to you guys!

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	12. Up in flames

**AN**- The ballots are in, the votes are tallied, so will Jake kiss her or not...

Disclaimer: I wish I owned the world of Twilight so things could go this way but, sadly, it isn't so

BPOV

I waited, my face flaming with embarrassment. How could I have said that? Why did I say that? _Because it's the truth_, my mind whispered. And, if I was being honest, I _had_ wanted Jacob to kiss me. In fact, it had taken all of my willpower to turn my face away from his.

I had wanted to know what it felt like to kiss someone, really kiss him. I knew that the few chaste kisses that Edward and I shared hadn't really counted. Kissing Jake would be different, it would be real and alive and…hot.

And yeah, that scared me.

Plus, like I had said. I wasn't even sure I wanted to take the next step with Jacob. My feelings for him were clearly no longer platonic considering I got butterflies every time he touched me but did that necessarily mean that I was ready to move on?

Not to mention, I hadn't even seen the Cullens since they had retuned. I hadn't gotten a chance to see Edward and finally sort through my feeling. What if he wanted me back? What if I was weak and accepted that offer? Where would that leave Jacob?

"Bella, you can't just drop a bomb like that without explaining." Jacob's voice brought me back to the conversation. His words sounded strained and cautious, like he was trying not to get his hopes up.

"I-I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that."

"No!" Jacob grabbed my arms, keeping me in place when I tried to step away. "I'm glad you did. I need to know what you're feeling. We're best friends, you can tell me anything." I took a deep breath hoping this conversation didn't end badly.

"Okay, what do you want to know?"

"Why does it scare you that you wanted me to kiss you?" He smiled slightly when he said the words aloud and I felt my blush come back.

"Well, I've only ever kissed one person in my life."

"I'd hardly call him a person and I still don't see the problem." As he spoke he ran his hands lightly up and down my arms, setting my skin on fire.

"The problem is that this would be different."

"Different how? Afraid I won't live up to your bloodsucker?" His voice was harsh but I knew it was just because he was trying to cover the pain at the misunderstanding.

"No! Jake, no!" I soothed wishing I could stop hurting him for once. "It would be different because the only kisses I'd ever had were cold and controlled, they had to be. With you it feels like… like we're both going to go up in flames and not care if we get burned."

Jacob was completely silent. I would have thought he hadn't heard me except that his eyes were dark and smoldering. I felt an adrenaline rush like the kind when something incredibly stupid and dangerous is about to happen. I couldn't help but savor the feeling that I loved so much.

"Do you understand?" I asked him shakily.

"Oh yeah, completely." His voice was husky and dangerous.

"Good, because you know I hate it when we fight," I said in relief.

"Me too." Jake replied in the same tone. We were both quiet for a moment, still staring at each other. "Hey, Bella?"

"Yeah?" I hoped he was changing the subject.

"Things are about to get hot."

"Wha-" Jacob big hands went around my waist, burning into my skin as he dragged me against his chest. My words were cut off as his lips crushed down against mine. I was going to push him away, I really was but the heat from his body seeping into mine turned my mind to mush. I still wasn't responding though so Jacob pushed me harder against him, arching my back so he could lean closer, kissing me ardently. He wasn't being careful with me and it all felt _so good_.

I made an unintelligent noise in the back of my throat and then my lips were moving with his against my will. When he felt me respond he inhaled sharply and let it out on a groan as he tangled one hand in my hair to keep me in place. It was an unnecessary move; there was no chance that I was trying to leave anytime soon.

My head was spinning as I twined my arms around Jacob's neck and lifted onto my tiptoes so we were closer. His scorching hands were exploring my back and sides. When we were both about to suffocate from lack of oxygen Jacob broke the kiss only to drag his lips to my jaw.

"Bella," he groaned out as his lips caressed my neck. My head fell back, giving him more access.

"Jacob," I replied back breathlessly and I liked the way it sounded. Jacob must have liked it too because he brought his lips back up to mine with an edge of desperation. He was holding me too tightly and kissing me too roughly and I was loving every second of it.

A howl bit through the air making me jump away. Jacob swore but just pulled me back, trying to ignore the insistent wolves. It only lasted a few more glorious seconds until the howl got closer. Jake pulled his lips away but rested his forehead against mine.

"I have to go," He whispered and I nodded. _What had just happened? _"Bella," He said achingly as he brought his lips to mine for a short, sweet kiss. It was gently this time but equally as perfect. When he stepped back, I looked at his face and it his expression was of overwhelming happiness.

"Jake, promise to be careful?" I asked as he headed towards the woods. I was trying not to think too hard. I didn't want to ruin this for him or for me. I had to face reality sometime though.

"Sure, sure." He said, grinning at me. "Don't go home, Bella. I'll be back soon and we can you know talk and stuff." I blushed bright red but nodded, wondering what 'and stuff' meant. Jacob disappeared into the woods and I plopped down on the beach and contemplated what I wanted in life.

JPOV

I was practically skipping through the woods as I shed my jeans. I had just kissed Bella Swan _and she'd kissed me back_! I knew I had a hug grin on my face and decided it wasn't likely to go away for a while, not that I minded. I phased, whishing I could be back with her and that we hadn't been interrupted.

_Jacob, what the hell? We've been calling you for like ten minutes…oh._

I wasn't trying to brag or anything even though I was bursting with the need to let everyone know I had finally gotten to kiss her. No, I wasn't trying to brag it was just impossible to stop thinking about it.

Bella had told me that last thing that I'd expected to hear and I had been so confused and hesitantly excited. Then she explained things,

"With you it feels like…like we're both going to go up in flames and not care if we get burned." I replayed that in my mind, relishing in it. Bella was so inexperienced that she hadn't realized she was talking about passion and physical attraction. I didn't have any experience myself but I had the pack mind to show me the basics. When she'd given her shy admission, I'd understandably lost control.

_If a chick said that to me, I would have jumped her bones. _

_ Shut up Paul._

Bella hadn't seemed to mind about my loss of control, I thought with a mental sigh. She hadn't even struggled and it only took a moment before she responded to me. _I knew she wanted me as much as I wanted her._

_ Probably not quite that much. _The other guys laughed. I was going to argue but I let my memories do the talking for me. The way Bella had moaned quietly and wrapped her arms around my neck, pressing her body closer. How she whispered my name in that sexy tone as her head fell back so I could move my lips over her skin…

_Wow. _For a moment I gloried in the respect and envy I had just earned from the pack, particularly Embry but Sam cut it short.

_Guys, focus. We have a bloodsucker to find remember? And Quil will be phasing any day now. _Thanks, Sam, for being such a buzz-kill.

We all started off in different directions and I did my best to focus but thoughts of Bella and the kiss were always in the back of my mind, difficult to ignore. I wanted to get back to her and hold her, kiss her and tell her how much I love her.

By now, she'd have over-thought everything and come up with a list of reasons as to why we couldn't do this and how she wasn't ready. It didn't matter. I had her now and we both knew it. I'd listen to her explanation patiently, then I'd try to tell her she was wrong and if that didn't work, I'd just kiss her senseless. I knew that I could now. In fact, I was looking forward to it.

BPOV

I was freaking out.

Jacob Black had kissed me. And I'd kissed him back.

And it had been_ amazing_.

The heat of it was still keeping me warm as I sat on the beach in the cool wind. I was scared out of my mind about what would happen with Jacob and I and I still had my reservations but there was one thing I was sure about it.

I needed to speak to Edward. I needed to tell him and the rest of the Cullens goodbye and I would politely ask them to leave Forks. It would kill me and probably kill a piece of my heart. But I suppose that was okay too because the piece of my heart that belonged to the Cullens was poisoning the rest of it, stopping it from being able to love.

I needed to do this and I needed to do it now before I lost my nerve. I was nervous about seeing Edward again, afraid that I'd be swayed to beg him to love me. But that wasn't a life, not really.

Life is fixing up rusty old motorcycles and then getting on them with the knowledge that you're going to fall off and probably fall off again and again. Life is sitting in a garage, drinking warm soda and laughing so hard that tears come to you're eyes. It's jumping off of cliffs and swimming in icy cold water and wrestling over the remote control. It's holding hands and cuddling and whispering. Life is the feel of Jacob's lips on mine and the safety of his arms around me.

I walked back to the Black's house and called Charlie. Billy gave me odd, knowing looks and I tried not to blush but failed miserably. I'm pretty sure Billy's grin was almost as big as Jacob's had been. Uhg, when Charlie found out, I was never going to hear the end of it. It wasn't really such a bad thought. I knew Jacob had told me to stay but he'd understand, right? I hoped he wouldn't get too upset with me for leaving him…again.

Charlie picked me up and we were silent on the way home. I wasn't ready to talk yet and he respected that but I'd have to start explaining soon or he wouldn't be quite so patient. I felt him peeking glances at me as we drove and guilt hit me in waves. How could I continue to hurt Charlie like this when I was the only family he had? But I knew the answer; vampires. Yet another reason why I had to get out of this while I could.

I walked up to my room slowly, knowing he would be there. Alice would have seen me come home and he would have rushed here. I was dreading this.

I opened my door with more confidence that I hadn't felt in a long time. Jacob sometimes had that effect on me. I knew now that I could never fall captive to Edward's icy perfection, not after I had felt the heat of imperfection. I was choosing the warmth, the heartbeat, the adrenaline, and the love.

I was choosing Jacob.

I swung the door open all the way and saw his marble-statue figure straighten from where he had been leaning on the window. His face was a mask of concern, fear and pain. My heart immediately softened towards him but my resolve stayed rock hard.

"Bella," he breathed moving to me and running a hand across my cheek. "Where have you been? I've been so worried."

"I was in La Push with Jacob. I fell asleep on the way home so we just crashed at his place." I was trying desperately to ignore the icy cold caress. It felt familiar but so wrong now. I had grown accustomed to the heat.

"Are you and this Jacob…?" He trailed off, looking away in agony.

"No." Edward's eyes whipped back to search my features even though I knew he couldn't read me the way Jacob could. "...not yet."

"Why are you here Edward? You were gone for months then you try to off yourself and now here you are, back again." I let some of the anger that I didn't know I had leak through. He winced.

"I'm sorry, Bella. I did it because I love you and I wanted you to be safe which could only be possible if I left."

"Well, that plan worked beautifully." I replied sarcastically then immediately felt bad. "I'm sorry Edward, I really am. Also, I know you meant what you said back then. It made perfect sense."

"No, you have to believe me. That day killed m, it was torture walking away from you but I made myself do it because it was best for you, because I loved you too much."

His words hurt me, made tears come to my eyes. He put me through all that pain for no reason? It had been bearable when I'd thought that at least one of us was happy. But no, my agony had been for nothing. The tears were falling and Edward was frantically trying to stop them from falling.

"How could you? Do that to me, to yourself, to us? I had no say in a decision that neither of us wanted! If you had discussed it with me things could have been salvaged…"

"I realize that now, Bella. I will be forever regretful that I left you but I will make it up to you I promise."

"No." My voice was quiet and sad but firm.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean no. You will not make it up to me; I have already forgiven you…mostly. Edward, I'm so sorry but I can't see you or your family anymore. It's painful for everyone and I need to move on. I need closure."

"You…you do not want me anymore?" Edward sounded shocked, before the anguish set in. I shook my head.

"I wanted you last year. You made the choice, you left and Jacob was here. I am sorry." My voice was small and shaky as I fought the urge to take it all back and stare into his lifeless topaz eyes.

"I understand." Edward moved towards me and lowered his lips to my forehead in a kiss that was so reminiscent of the last time that I felt my knees begin to shake with the overload of emotion. "Goodbye Edward."

"Goodbye Bella, I'll love you always." Then he was gone, my curtains swaying slightly from the wind he'd created. I moved mechanically to my bed, pressed my face into the pillow and began to sob.

* * *

Alright, so give me feedback. I'm really nervous that the kiss isn't what you guys wanted it to be and I know some said there first kiss should be shy and sweet but I was trying to show contrast between Jacob and Edward so Bella could make her choice and I can stop with her annoying back-and-forth. Also, I'm sorry about how short this is. The Edward/Bella goodbye was supposed to be longer but I hate writing Edward/Bella, hence why I'm writing this.

Hint: Just because Edward says goodbye doesn't mean he's leaving.

Now another vote: Should Edward become obsessed with Bella and turn into the villian? If not, ideas are always welcome. As usual, it's up to you and I love all your reviews, thank you so much.


	13. REWRITTEN ENDING!

**AN- IMPORTANT**

** Okay, I rewrote the end of this chapter. It wasn't right. I was having a horrible week and I took it out on my characters, deciding they should be miserable too. I apologize to those of you who liked the last chapter and the intensity of it but that is NOT something Jacob would do and I didn't like breaking the trust that was so important in Bella's decision of choosing Jake. So here's the happier, but still angsty rewrite. It's the same until the garage...**

JPOV

Our search for the bloodsucker was disappointingly unsuccessful and I was feeling bitter that Bella and I had been interrupted for nothing. Despite that, I was happy. So ridiculously happy. I was eager to get back home, back to Bella so we could pick up where we left off. I was already craving the feel of her body pressed against mine and the feel of her lips against me.

_Jacob_, Embry groaned in my head, _enough_!

_Sorry_, I apologized not meaning it at all.

I reached my house in no time, phasing back and pulling on my jeans. I practically ran to the house with a grin stretched across my face. I flung the door open a little rougher than necessary and startled Billy who was sitting at the table.

"Oops, sorry Dad. Where's Bella?" A knowing smile tugged at his lips and instead of answering he asked his own question.

"What kind of things are going on under my roof exactly?" He asked suspiciously, repeating Quil's words, but I noticed a twinkle in his eye that let me know he wasn't really mad. I couldn't help but smile back remembering the way Bella and I had been tangled up this morning. "Never mind, I don't want to know. By the way, what was Quil doing here?"

"Oh right," I said distractedly, annoyed that I would have to finish chatting with Billy before I could go to her. "He's close to phasing so Embry and I are supposed to spend time with him so we can be there when he does."

"Ah, how long do you think it'll be before he-"

"I don't know, Dad. Where's Bella?" I cut him off rudely and he raised his eyebrows at my impatience. I'd make it up to him later.

"She went home, son. Charlie picked her up about an hour ago." I stiffened, my whole body going cold. I had asked her to stay and she'd left anyways, just like last time. We had kissed and she just walked away like it didn't mean anything, just like last time! I was shaking slightly, hurt and betrayal shadowing over all of my previous joy.

"She left?" I clarified, gripping the chair in front of me tightly and fighting the phase. I had been prepared for her excuses and denials and I had been looking forward to proving her wrong. What I hadn't expected was for her to go to _him_.

"Yes, Jacob. Calm down, what's the problem?" I slumped down into the chair, defeated and I let the anger flow away, leaving only hurt. I was hurting so much lately.

"I told her to stay and she left. Back to _him_." I spat the last word, unable to say his name. Billy looked confused.

"She's right up the street at Charlie's, what's the big deal? Didn't she tell her Cold One that she was choosing the wolves' side?"

"Not in so many words. She walked away from them but they Cullens' made it clear that they wanted to see Bella and that's why I didn't bring her home last night. So if she went home, _he_ is going to be waiting for her. She just walked away from me after everything!" I shouted getting upset all over again.

"After everything?" Billy asked looking more amused than concerned.

"Yeah," somehow I was embarrassed. "We sort of made out." Billy looked pleased but held up his hand letting me know he didn't want to hear any more.

"Don't jump to conclusions, Jacob. Give her a chance to explain." I nodded but I knew there was nothing she could say that would make this better. She was going back to him. She had told me today that she still loved him. Maybe when I kissed her she didn't really like it and decided she was better off with her bloodsucker. I stopped the painful thoughts before they could cripple me.

I walked back outside and phased, hoping to run off the turmoil of my emotions. In a few hours I would have to face the leeches and it was going to take all of my control not to snap and attack.

_Jake? _ It was Paul and he was confused about my sudden appearance. It didn't take him long to sort through my tortured thoughts. He was torn between his loyalty to me and his newfound affection for Bella. He was about to say something but Jared's mind suddenly appeared to take over Paul's patrol. With a mental sigh, Paul's mind disappeared and I was relieved.

BPOV

I wasn't sure how long I cried for but it had gotten dark and quiet outside. I forced myself to get out of bed and stretch my sore limbs. On autopilot, I went to shower and washed away my tears under the hot water. I felt myself relax and was surprised at the sensation. Saying goodbye to Edward and finally getting that closure had been therapeutic. I felt free.

The emotional baggage I had been carrying was suddenly lifted making me feel lighthearted and…happy? Yes, extremely happy in a way that I hadn't been able to completely manage since he had left me in the woods. I grinned as I finished showering and shut off the water.

As I dressed in jeans and a hoodie my mind drifted back to Jacob. Now that I had told Edward goodbye I could think about it rationally and…wow. It had been like nothing I had ever experienced before. It had been all consuming and my mind had taken a back-seat for the first time in my life. My shyness had faded into nothing when his mouth and hands had been on me.

It had been so hot. Figuratively and literally. I had been right it was as if we had both caught fire and were relishing the way it burned. My face flushed as I though about the wanton noises I'd made and how Jacob's lips felt on my neck…

There was a bang against my window that made me jump. Terror seized my heart before I remembered that the wolves and the Cullens were looking after me. It was probably just Jake. My stomach did flip-flops.

I opened the window and looked down to see Paul staring up at me an unreadable expression on his face. My mouth popped open in confusion. What was he doing here? He raised his eyebrows at me expectantly, I continued to stare stupidly.

"It's common courtesy to invite a guest in, Swan." He remarked with a cynical smirk. He seemed almost angry with me.

"So is using the front door," I retorted dryly but stepped back to let him come up. He chuckled and climbed his way up the tree and gracefully slid through my open window. He stood shirtless and as intimidating as the rest of them in front of me. I'd be lying if I claimed that Paul didn't make me nervous; he had such a temper.

"Alright," he said brushing by me and plopping down on my bed. "What gives?"

"Huh?" I replied, confused. Paul seemed completely at ease, making himself comfortable and patting the space on my bed next to him in invitation.

"What the fuck was up with you today?"

"Watch your mouth," I scolded. "I haven't even seen you today, Paul!"

"Yeah, but I've seen you." I narrowed my eyes. Was he spying on me or something? "Through Jacob's mind of course. Who knew a pale little thing like you had that much fire in her?"

My face was on fire. How could I have forgotten that the pack could hear Jacob's thoughts? By now they would have all seen the kiss in explicit detail. I was going to die of embarrassment. Paul laughed remorselessly at my expression.

"If you're going to be a wolf girl you need to get used to having no privacy." He was eyeing me critically now, waiting to see my reaction to his words. I said nothing.

"Well?" He prompted.

"Well what?"

"Are you going to be a wolf girl or not?"

"Oh," I replied shifting uncomfortably. "I, um, sort of thought that I already was a wolf girl?" Paul grinned and got off the bed to pull me into a bone-crushing hug.

"Good! I was starting to get used to having you around and I would hate to lose such a good cook from the pack." I smiled warmly at him and hugged back hesitantly.

"So," he continued after we separated. "I ask again, what gives?"

"I don't know it just sort of happened…" I was bright red again I'm sure. Why was Paul so interested in the kiss that Jacob and I had shared? Paul noticed my blush and burst out laughing.

"No, Swan! I didn't mean about the kiss!" He managed to get his mirth under control enough to finish. "I meant about after when you left even though he told you to stay. I know that the bloodsucker was here too, I can smell it."

"Oh," My mood darkened a little and the blush faded as I went pale, "_that_."

"Yeah, that." He noticed my change in mood and his eyes narrowed.

"After what happened with Jake, I knew I had to see Edward." Paul's expression turned thunderous and he took a threatening step towards me. "I told him goodbye!"

He stopped stalking towards me and the anger vanished. I tried to control my slamming heart and push the fear away. I knew how volatile his temper was. He mumbled a sorry and I waved it off.

"Part of being a wolf girl," I said with a weak smile that he returned. "I knew that if Jacob and I were going to even try to be something more than I would have to get closure from the Cullens. I left because I wanted to do it before I lost my nerve and also I just wanted to get it over with."

"Makes sense to me but you might want to tell that to Jacob." My gaze shot questioningly to his. "He's in his own personal hell right now thinking that you went back to your bloodsucker and left him again."

"Oh, Jake!" I whispered, distraught. I couldn't deal with having him in pain. It was like being in pain myself. I grabbed my keys off the nightstand and shot Paul a look of apology for running out on him.

"Go get him." He smiled at me and I knew that he had already accepted me as part of the pack. "But Bella, just be careful. He's emotional right now and he might not be in complete control of himself, you know?"

"I'll be careful." I assured him though I knew Jacob would never hurt me. I snuck by Charlie, got in my truck and broke all the speed limits on the way back to La Push.

I was just getting out of my truck at the Blacks' house when I saw Jacob emerge from the trees, buttoning up his pants and I blushed, thankful he was covered up. He looked exhausted and his walk was sluggish like he might collapse at any moment. His eyes were rimmed in red and his hair was going every which way. He looked miserable. It was entirely my fault.

The wind picked up and blew through my hair. The scent must have drifted to Jacob because his head shot up quickly, his eyes locking on me making my heart stop. We stood staring across the lawn at each other for a few endless moments. He broke eye contact first, shaking his head and turning away from me, heading towards the garage.

I wanted to cry but I held myself together. It was a huge misunderstanding and I had put his through so much unnecessary heartache at my carelessness. I had been so focused on getting my closure that I hadn't stopped and considered how it would look from Jacob's point of view. I was going to beg for his forgiveness if only he'd give me the chance.

I hurried after him and ducked into the garage, scanning for Jacob. He was crouched next to his motorcycle, toying with something that probably didn't even need to be fixed. I knew he had heard me walk in but he didn't turn towards me or say anything. He was giving me the cold shoulder. I moved closer to him hesitantly, unsure of how to begin.

"Jake…" I started and his shoulders stiffened in response. "I'm sorry."

He was on his feet in a moment, whirling to face me so quickly that I took a reflexive step back. He gripped my arm too tightly, and his other hand grabbed my chin and roughly forced me to look at him. I had never seen such hostility in his eyes and certainly never directed at me. He was furious, shaking slightly. He looked like he _hated_ me. I couldn't blame him but that didn't dull the agony of it.

"You're sorry?" He spat angrily in a vicious tone that he had never used with me before. I flinched back but he didn't notice or care. "No you're not. If you cared about me at all you wouldn't have kissed me in the first place. Did it make you feel better? Did you like being the one to inflict pain instead of the one getting hurt?"

"What? Jake, no!" I started but he tightened his grip on my arm making me gasp and cutting off my words.

"Or maybe I was just a substitute until you could have your bloodsucker back? Were you using me, Bella? Were you pretending I was him?" He had backed me up against the wall of the garage now and I didn't recognize the boy in front of me. This Jacob was mocking me, his voice dripping with acid and disgust. For the first time in my life I was truly afraid of him.

"It's_ pathetic_, Bella. He left you. He didn't want you anymore. In fact, he abandoned you in the woods to die! Yet he's still all you live for." His words were like knifes and he kept pushing them deeper and deeper, his expression was of wicked amusement. Tears welled up in my eyes and started to fall down my face in streams. Who was this person who hated me so much that he could torture me like this? What happened to the boy who loved me unconditionally and was always gentle with me?

A sob found it's way out of my chest and I tried to escape but Jacob's hands came down on either side of my head, caging me in. His eyes were black, his face so close to mine that I could feel his hot breath on my face. I remembered our kiss from earlier and wondered how we had possibly ended up here. His eyes moved to my lips and I knew he was thinking about earlier as well. His mouth quirked into a dark sneer.

I knew he was going to kiss me and I turned my face away, panic edging up my throat. His lips crushed to mine painfully and I whimpered helplessly as I tried to struggle away from the heat of it. I was terrified of this person but some part of my body still wanted me to give in to this desperate kiss. I softened for a split second before I started fighting again.

He ignored my protests as he bruised my lips and let his hands travel down my sides roughly. I was sobbing against his mouth, wondering how far he would take this when finally he broke away, breathing heavy. He looked down at me mockingly.

"I bet you weren't pretending I was your bloodsucker that time were you?" He demanded. He saw my tears and for a moment I caught a glimpse of _my_ Jacob under this cruel mask. It gave me hope and I attempted again to push by him. He let me. I dared another look at his face and he was shocked and horrified as he took in my betrayed expression.

I turned and without a backwards glance I sprinted to my truck. I had only gotten half way when I heard his heavy footfalls coming after me. I made my legs move faster because I didn't think I could face him right now especially if he was going to fling more cruel words at me.

"Bella, wait!" His voice sounded frantic but I ignored him. I was stumbling by now of course and Jacob closed the distance between us easily. My hand had just reach for my truck's door handle when two hot hands caught my shoulders and whirled me around.

My eyes were still clogged with tears so I looked up at him through a blur. He brought a hand up and I flinched automatically out of fear that he was going to continue what he'd started in the garage. Pain contorted his face when I did this and he brushed some tears off of my cheeks.

"Bella, I-I'm sorry…don't go. Just, please? Don't leave." His whisper had a desperate edge to it and I could hear the hopelessness behind it. He knew I would leave anyways, just like always. Despite how sorry I was for the pain I had caused I couldn't forgive him so easily for what had just transpired. Also, I was still reeling from the pain his words had inflicted and I needed time to pull myself back together.

I swatted his hands away, not saying a word. I got in my truck and drove away only glancing in the rearview mirror once. He stood there, staring after me with shoulders slumped and he didn't move until I was out of sight.

* * *

Better? Review and let me know. I'm thinking of doing a lemon next chapter when they make up? Maybe not a whole one but at least a little one? Feedback will be appreciated.

Next up: Jacob reads Paul's mind and see what an idiot he was. Plus the meeting between the Pack and the Cullens


	14. Finding my way to you

AN- **THIS IS ONLY THE FIRST HALF! **I split it in half because it was becoming ridiculously long and it was taking me forever to write. So don't freak out because I didn't give you lemons yet, they'll be in the next half which will be posted on Monday, I promise!

JPOV

I watched Bella drive away fighting the desperation that clawed my insides and told me to go after her. _Did I even want to go after her_? Of course I did. There was really no question to it. I love her so fucking much and it's killing me. Why couldn't I ever just be enough? Why did the bloodsucker always have to ruin it?

I was trying so hard not to think about the things that had just happened in the garage but of course it was useless. Those moments would be stuck in my brain for a long time coming. The things I had said, no _screamed_ at her. They were…horrible. I squeezed my eyes shut, still standing in the spot she had driven away from.

When Bella left she had looked terrified of me and that had been gut-wrenchingly painful. I had always been the protector, the good guy, the person she could count on. Her best friend. How would she ever trust me after this? The images swam through my head in agonizing detail.

Bella shoved against the wall, pushed up against me. Me trying to take my pain and grief out on her and pouring those feelings into the most ungentle kiss of all time. _No_, I corrected myself, _not a kiss but an assault. _It had probably even been painful for her. Maybe her sobs were out of more than just emotional pain…

A noise like a whimper escaped my throat and I started to shake violently at the thought that I may have actually physically damaged her. But I didn't want to phase. Maybe it was cowardly of me but I was too ashamed to face the others and have them see my thoughts. I ran into the garage and sat down on the worktable, trying to even my erratic breathing.

She had fought me. Her punches and kicks had been useless and I'd ignored them, using my werewolf strength to my own sick advantage. She would probably have bruised knuckles and shins for her efforts, I thought and my stomach rolled. She'd never want to see me again.

But why had she come to me? How could she have really chosen him over me again? Especially after our kiss on the beach and the way she had gotten my hopes up only to crush them. I had known it was too good to be true but naively I had believed that I could get the girl by being dependable.

Bella didn't want dependable _clearly_. She wanted passion and romance. Besides, he could give her anything she wanted, even immortality. My body starting shaking again at that thought. He wouldn't turn her would he? She wouldn't want that would she? But, deep down, I knew she would. Immortality would appeal to Bella especially if it meant she could spend it with _him_.

I was fighting a losing battle with the wolf and finally gave in, running outside and stripping off my pants before the shaking took over. I sensed several minds in my head and I was trying to separate whose was whose but there was an undeniable sense of panic amongst them.

_What the fuck? What the hell is happening to me? Fuck, fuck! What the fuck?_

Quil.

**APOV**

I sat, perched in the highest braches of one of the trees outside our house. It was nice to be back in Forks. But right at this moment I was completely bored. I usually had Jasper to talk to but lately he had been spending a lot of time with Edward so he could keep his emotions calm.

Edward had been grieving ever since we had returned from Italy. It had been somewhat bearable for a while because he had retained some hope that Bella would come back to him after she rested and they discussed things.

Well, she had rested and they had discussed things but Bella had already made up her mind. She was choosing her werewolf and though I would never admit it out loud, I was proud of her. She was making a good, healthy decision that would be better for her in the long run. Not that I could see for sure, I thought with annoyance. Damn werewolves.

Now Edward was a sulking mess but oddly he seemed better than the first time that he had lost her. Probably because now he knew that not only was Bella safe and human but she was happy too. That was all he wanted, he had claimed. Now he could watch from afar as she grew old and lived out her life.

I thought it was mildly creepy but he was my brother and if it made him happy and it wasn't hurting anyone than who was I to argue? My family was united again and we all owed Bella a debt of gratitude, hence why we are in Forks.

Victoria was still around.

Of course, Edward was beating himself up about that now. How he had left her unprotected to a threat that he had created for her. To be honest, I was beating myself up about that one too. I should have seen that coming! If the wolves hadn't been protecting her, Bella would undoubtedly be dead by now. I cringed at the thought.

But we were here now and we would…

The vision hit me unexpectedly as they always do. A decision had been made. We had just learned about the rising death toll around Seattle yesterday and we had known immediately it had been the doing of our kind. Now I knew why.

Victoria was building an army. A newborn army. She was sending them here to go after Bella so she could have her revenge for the death of her mate. They were coming to Forks in one week and we were not prepared for them nor did we have the numbers to defeat them.

In a panic, I hurried off my perch and burst into the house to call a family meeting. Then we would head to see the wolves as scheduled. Only now we had bigger news than treaty lines.

**JPOV**

It took us hours to calm Quil down and get him to stop running. Sam had been reluctant to order him because it would undoubtedly freak him out all the more and it was a bad way to earn his trust. So the rest of us had stayed quiet while Sam had explained what was happening to him and retold the legends that we all knew by heart.

Embry had been ecstatic to have Quil finally be in on the secret. I had mixed feeling about it. I hated this life, all I wanted was to be human but the rest of them didn't mind it so much. Then again, it would be nice to have my friend back.

We were all exhausted by the time we finished talking to Quil. Oddly enough, once he became rational again he was actually pretty excited about the whole thing. He loved the speed and the strength (which I have to admit, _is_ pretty awesome). Plus, I think he was relieved to finally know what was going on and being part of the "in-crowd."

He and Sam were discussing phasing back but I knew it would be a while before he managed it. My thoughts drifted back to Bella for the first time in hours. Quil's phase had taken my mind off of it but now it was coming back to haunt me.

_Haunt you?_ It was Paul being nosy again. _Haven't you two made up yet?_

_ Made up? No, of course not. She chose the leech and I doubt she'll ever forgive me for this afternoon. _The agony was back and I felt the rest of the pack tune in to my person hell.

_This afternoon? _Even Embry was nosing in. Now the images came through my mind clearly so the pack could bear witness to what an ass I had been. I doubt they'd have any respect for me after today. They saw how Bella had left then shown up again hours later. They saw the way I had screamed those hateful things and the way I'd manhandled her and then forced myself on her.

_That's messed up, dude…_

_ Well, you were upset. Besides if she hadn't been two-faced then…_

_ You don't treat girls like that man…_

_ He was justified…_

_ Shut up!_ I finally screamed mentally. Their reprimands were making me feel like less than dirt but the way they defended me was worse. I was about to phase back so I wouldn't have to listen when Paul's thoughts caught my attention.

_Jake, you idiot! You have it all wrong! _

_ What are you talking about?_

Paul decided it would be easier to show me than tell me. Images of him and Bella in her room played for us like a movie.

Paul had gone over there to confront her about what he had seen in my mind. I saw the way he demanded an answer about why she left me and then he teased her about our kiss and the way she blushed. I felt a pang of misery when I saw that blush I loved so much. He told her to get used to having no privacy if she was going to be a wolf girl.

"I, um, sort of thought that I already was a wolf girl?" I saw Bella say as she shifted uncomfortably in Paul's memory.

All the air whooshed out of me. I was so confused but so happy. The joy I had felt when those words left her mouth was overwhelming. The other guys scoffed at my mushy-ness but Paul continued his mental slideshow. He asked her again what was up with her and she started trying to explain about the kiss, which made me smile through my grief and had caused Paul to crack up at the time. He clarified that he was talking about her leaving and she said she had needed to see Cullen.

""I knew that if Jacob and I were going to even try to be something more than I would have to get closure from the Cullens. I left because I wanted to do it before I lost my nerve and also I just wanted to get it over with."

Bella hadn't left me. In fact, she had made the final choice to stay with m by telling him goodbye. _She loves me!_ I thought and felt like I could jump for joy or sing. _She chooses me!_ Then the joy was gone as quick as it came as I remembered the way I had treated her.

_No, no, no, no! Shit, no. I'm an asshole. She finally picked me, she finally realized and acknowledged that she loved me and I've lost her. I ruined it. Oh, God. Oh, God. I'll never get to hold her or kiss her ever again._

I phased back, feeling physically ill. I needed to fix this. I needed to see her and apologize and fix this. I didn't allow myself to think that I had broken it beyond repair this time. What if she had gone back to her blood-sucker after I rejected her? _Shit_, I ran home, got my rabbit and drove at ridiculous speeds to get to Forks.

**BPOV **

I found myself once again standing alone in my room, emotionally drained. Weirdly enough, I felt no urge to cry. I was done with the tears. Instead, I wondered numbly how things had gotten so out of hand. Maybe if I had just left Jacob a note or something before I left or if I had explained quicker in his garage maybe things wouldn't be so messed up.

But I supposed it was better that he had said those things. Clearly, he had meant them and it was better to get that out in the open. Besides, would I really want to be with someone who didn't want me back? Because Jacob had made it quite clear that his feelings for me weren't so pretty anymore.

I asked myself the question I had been dreading. If I couldn't have Jake then could I salvage what I had with Edward? I still loved him but could he forgive me? Could I forgive myself? The thought of Edward's careful kisses and cold caresses filled me with panic. I didn't want that. I wanted the desperate kissing and heated touches. I sighed and plopped down on my bed. That wasn't happening anytime soon.

"Bella?" Charlie called from downstairs. I could tell by his voice that he meant business. Oh great, we were going to have _that_ talk now. He had horrible timing.

"What's up Dad?" I answered as I reluctantly came down the stairs and stopped in the living room where he was sitting with a beer. He motioned to the seat opposite him.

"You have some explaining to do." I sat down but continued to say nothing. I had no idea what Jacob had told him by way of explanation. We should have collaborated but we had other things on our minds. I'd have to play this by ear.

"What do you want to know?" He gave me an impatient look, not at all amused with my stalling.

"Why you ran away to California." I tried to hide my shocked surprise but I probably wasn't successful. _California?_ Thanks a lot, Jake.

"Oh, uh, right. California. Well, Edward was in trouble." I stammered out and looked at the floor. I was such a horrible liar. This was not going to go well.

"Jacob told me as much. Bella, if Edward was threatening to kill himself than you should have come to me. Or told his parents. It's not your responsibility to fly across the country because he's touched in the head…"

"Dad!" I scolded, peeved. Apparently Jacob had stuck mostly to the truth, which was good because it made it easier to lie but also bad because the story was really messed up and Charlie would be enraged. "I was confused Dad and you know how I felt about him…I guess in some ways I just wanted to see him again…"

Charlie huffed angrily but didn't comment so I continued.

"It was terrifying. I was constantly afraid we wouldn't make it in time and Edward would be dead and it would be all my fault." My eyes started stinging when I recalled those horrible last seconds when I couldn't find him.

"It messed me up and when we got there and he was okay well I just wanted to get home. To Forks, to you, to Jake. I'm so sorry but I felt like I had no choice. Nothing like it will ever happen again, Dad. I promise."

"Okay kiddo." Charlie said gruffly, trying to cover the emotions he was feeling. Then something occurred to him. "Why did you call Angela?"

"Huh?" I stared at him blankly. I hadn't called Angela? What was he talking about?

"Jacob said that's how he knew to come pick you up at the airport." He was eying me suspiciously now and I hurried to do damage control.

"That's how Jake knew to come find me?" I asked feigning surprise. "I had been wondering but I never got around to asking him. We only spoke for a second and then I was fast asleep."

Charlie gave me his cop stare for another moment before deciding to believe me.

"Again, why did you call her?"

"Well, you know, just girl talk." I said knowing Charlie would get embarrassed, which he did. "I needed someone to talk to and Alice is Edward's sister so I couldn't exactly confide in her…"

"Okay, okay. I understand why you did what you did Bella but it was still wrong. You're grounded for one week." I nodded my head, not caring that Charlie was grounding me. I had nowhere to go anyways.

"But…" he continued after a moment. "I'll make an exception for Jacob. He's a good kid." I sighed and rolled my eyes. He just didn't want to push my newfound happiness by taking away the apparent source of it. He was afraid zombie-Bella would come back.

"Yeah, well, I doubt he wants to see me anyways." I admitted, feeling the pain open up in my chest. It felt a lot like when Edward had first left.

"Whys that?" Charlie asked, his eyebrows furrowing in confusion.

"He hates me."

"Don't be ridiculous Bella. How could you think that after what he did for you yesterday?"

"He's mad that I left Forks for Edward. He feels betrayed I guess." It wasn't the truth but it wasn't a lie either. The pain was becoming more acute and hard to ignore. I fought against it, refusing to let it take me over again. All the same, I wanted to be alone.

"You two will make up, I'm sure of it." He certainly sounded sure of it. I wondered if it was just wishful thinking or if he had a reason for it. "It's already eleven o'clock, Bella. You should get to bed."

I nodded and climbed the stairs, only tripping once on the way and pushed my door open. I stifled a scream when I saw that I wasn't the only person in there.

Jacob sat on the edge of my bed, shirtless as always. His shoulders were hunched forward, elbows resting on his knees. He didn't look up when I entered the room; he just continued to stare at the floor between his feet. I took a few deep breaths and shut the door behind me.

"Not bad," he commented and his voice sounded dead. He still hadn't looked at me. "I think Charlie may have actually believed you."

"Jacob…" I whispered. Seeing him again so soon after our fight felt like salt being rubbed in an open wound. He looked so defeated and his hands were quivering slightly. I wanted to hug him and squeeze the pain right out of him and see him smile _my_ smile. I almost took that first step but stopped myself.

"What are you doing here?" My words came out harsher than I meant them to and he flinched at the sound of them. He took a deep breath and finally stood up to face me and his eyes met mine. My breath caught at the unfiltered misery that filled his usually warm brown eyes.

"Bella," he whispered, taking one step towards me. "I know it doesn't fix anything and it can't take back the things I said but…I'm so sorry."

"For what?" I asked tearing my gaze away, unable to bear the emotions in his eyes. It was my turn to stare at the floor. I heard his soft footsteps as he hesitantly approached me. He stopped just in front of me, not quite touching me.

"For what I said. You didn't deserve that. Even if you had done what I thought you did, you still wouldn't have deserved that. You're my best fried, Bells, and I treated you like dirt today." Jacob raised a hand to touch my hair but dropped it before it made contact. Tears were pooling in my eyes but I adamantly refused to let them fall.

"And the other stuff…God, Bella I-I can't even begin to apologize for that. I can barely stand to think about what I did. I was such a bastard and-and I used my physical advantage over you. That was…horrible. I know I don't have the right to ask you to trust me but I promise to you that I will never, never force you to do anything ever again."

I hadn't raised my eyes to meet his yet but his voice was strained and I suspected he hated himself at this moment. I wanted to comfort him and tell him it was okay but was it? Could I forgive him this easily for what he had done? I loved him and I wanted us to be okay. He had forgiven me for a lot of things and sometimes he probably shouldn't have forgiven me. Didn't I owe him this?

I finally raised my eyes to his. We were close, he had leaned down towards me and I noticed he was biting his lip to keep it from quivering. That was my undoing.

"I'm supposed to protect you, Bells, not hurt you. It won't happen again. Forgive me? Please?"

**JPOV**

I looked down at Bella and held my breath as I waited for her answer. For once I had no idea what she was thinking. I wanted to reach out and touch her, to reassure myself she was here but I was afraid she would flinch in fear like last time and if she did that it literally would kill me.

She was so beautiful. If I hadn't been such an idiot today I wondered what we would be doing right now? Would I be holding her? Kissing her? _Probably._ That thought made me ache with longing and regret. Her silence was making me nervous.

"Bells?" I prodded quietly.

"Kiss me, Jacob."

What? My eyes widened in disbelief and I stared down at her in shock. Did she just say…? Hope shot through me and I snagged Bella's waist, not giving her any time to change her mind. The feel of her under my hands was indescribable. I pushed her body against mine so there was noting between us. I brought my lips to hers with an edge of desperation and she met me halfway.

At the feel of her soft lips, of her soft body I groaned in appreciation and relief. It felt almost too good to be real. Bella's arms came around my neck and my heart thudded wildly. She _wanted_ to kiss me, she wanted _me_. It was a heady feeling to be loved in return by the girl you were crazy-head-over-heels-in-love with.

We got lost in each other for a few endless moments. We had both been upset today and had intentionally hurt each other. Now our hands and lips moved softly, trying to soothe the ache for each other, for ourselves. It worked, of course. We were Jake and Bells. We knew each other inside and out so we knew how to make the pain go away.

To my immense disappointment I felt Bella pull away slightly. I let my lips linger softly on her for another moment; reluctant to lose the connection I had craved for so long. She sighed when I finally pulled away and ended up tangling a hand in my hair and just pulling me back. I grinned against her lips, happy to oblige. The kiss was sweeter this time and I doubted I would ever tire of kissing Bella Swan. I loved feeling her secure in my arms and knowing she was there because it's where she wanted to be.

She pulled away for real this time but I didn't let her get far. I kept my arms locked tightly on her waist as if to keep her there. I couldn't help it. She smiled up at me and I smiled back.

"Bella…" I sighed resting my forehead against hers. She closed her eyes and leaned in to me. "I love you."

"Oh, Jake." Bella replied and I saw her cheeks turn red. I smiled. I had been afraid I'd never see that pretty blush again. I tried not to feel disappointed when she didn't say it back. _She'd get there,_ I promised myself, _I'd make sure she would come to love me back._

I glanced away from her for a moment and happened to see the time on the clock.

"Crap! Bells honey, I wish I could stay here with you forever but I'm supposed to be at the treaty line in a half hour to meet the Cullens." I saw the surprise in her eyes and remembered that she hadn't known about the meeting. Then her expression hardened into one I had seen all too many times. Determination.

"I'm coming with you."

**EPOV **

I stood with my family at the treaty line waiting for the wolves. They were not late. We were just early. I had mixed feelings about seeing the wolves again, specifically Jacob Black. On the one hand, I was grateful to them for their part in Bella's safety and to Jacob for his part in her happiness.

On the other hand, I was nervous about such volatile creatures spending so much time with Bella. If one of them lost their temper then she could get seriously injured. Also, I had an almost uncontrollable urge to tear Jacob Black apart for the obvious reason. But of course I wouldn't because it would hurt Bella.

I smelt the dogs before I heard them. They entered the clearing, some of them in their wolf form and others in their human form. I took that as a good sign that they trusted us enough to stay un-phased. The wolves were undoubtedly extraordinary and I saw the awe reflected on the faces of my family.

They were massive and sleek, obviously capable of top speeds and immense strength. I hated to be impressed but I was. The boys/men that were in their human forms were also quite impressive, being far taller than an average man and certainly stronger. They were formidable opponents and my family did not take that lightly but we hoped to be more of allies.

As they got closer, I counted them. There were two in their human forms, one of them being Sam the Alpha, and three as wolves. None of which were Jacob Black. I found that quite odd considering that he was the rightful Alpha and also because he was the one most personally involved. I delved into Sam's mind and found that he was wondering the same thing I was. He turned to the other wolves and said something in a language I assumed was Quileute. His mind told me that he was asking where Black was.

The rest of the pack was equally confused and I felt a fascinating pull when I listened in on the wolves. They shared one mind but at the same time all thought separately as well. It was confusing and intriguing. I could have listened in for hours.

_Where the fuck is lover boy?_

_How the hell should I know, Embry? You're his boyfriend, why don't you know?_

_Screw you, Jared! Like you're one to talk. I see the way you and Paul look at each other… It's very romantic, sweet even._

_I'm going to let that one slide, Call, but only because I know you're jealous that I have a girlfriend and you're still trying to get up the nerve to talk to a girl!_

I tried to block their childish fighting but in truth it was mildly amusing. I smiled slightly for the first time in a long time. Maybe these wolves weren't so bad after all. Then another figure strode out of the trees and into the clearing.

Jacob Black.

He glanced up at my family and at his annoyed pack but seemed completely unfazed by all of it. He had a goofy grin on his face and that's when the scent hit me. _Bella_. I saw her then, being pulled along behind her werewolf by their intertwined hands. She was panting from the hike and complaining about the pace Jacob had set for them.

He just laughed at her whining (something I would never have dreamed of doing) and sent her a smile that had Bella fighting a smile as well. Then the pack saw them.

"Jacob, what are you thinking bringing Bella out here?" Sam's voice boomed, sounding menacing. I noticed the other boy, Paul I believed his name was, just smiled mischievously when he saw the two, looking extremely pleased at the sight of them.

"Don't you think it's kind of her business? I think she has a right to know and besides, she's completely safe." Jacob's words were true but his mind told me that Bella was really there because he didn't want to deny her anything that she asked for.

"That doesn't give you the right…" Sam started out but Paul cut him off.

"I have to agree with Jake on this one. Besides, if there's anything that will keep the peace between us it's probably Bella." Jacob and Bella had made their way over to the rest of the pack and Bella seemed to be avoiding looking at my family or me. "Plus, she gives us something nice to look at."

My head shot up to glare at the boy who was grinning at the couple. I noticed Jacob rolled his eyes but a slight smile played on his lips. Bella of course, blushed bright red.

"Shut it, Paul." Bella said and to my surprise picked up a rock and threw it at him. By some miracle it actually found it's mark and Bella burst out laughing. My eyes widened. Who was this girl that was playful and immature? I had never seen this side of her and it made me sad. I would have liked to have known every side of her.

Paul scowled but also laughed until Sam told them it was time to get down to business and an air of seriousness settled over the clearing. The boy named Paul phased into his wolf form and Jacob led Bella over to sit behind the line of wolves. He asked one of the other wolves to phase out and sit with Bella. This one's name was Embry.

Embry did as he was asked, pulled on a pair of pants and plopped down on the grass next to my Bella. He slung an arm over her shoulders and pulled her close to him. Bella seemed completely at ease with this and leaned in to him comfortably. I could tell by Embry's thoughts that he cared for Bella like part of the pack and that he was happy she was with Jacob.

Jacob and Sam were discussing something before coming to talk to us and I should have been listening to them but instead I focused on Bella's conversation with Embry.

"So, I noticed there is an extra wolf…" Bella said awkwardly as she stared uneasily at the big brown wolf that was hovering over them with a goofy wolf grin on his face, tongue lolling out and everything. Embry glanced at the wolf and tried to shoo him away but he was having none of it.

"Yeah…you remember Quil, right?" Bella gasped and then grinned so wide I thought it might hurt her cheeks. She jumped up from her spot on the ground and hurried over to the wolf named Quil. Without warning she threw her arms around his neck and I took an involuntary step forward, afraid he would hurt her.

Instead Quil just licked her cheek making her laugh and give a half-hearted 'gross!' She fit right in with them I realized with a pang. It was like she belonged in the pack. I glanced back to Jacob who was conversing with his alpha but his eyes kept straying to her.

His thoughts were so filled with love and happiness. He liked seeing her with his pack. It made him proud to call Bella his. Even though it hurt, I liked knowing that the depth of his feelings for her was real and that he would never hurt her.

Finally, Sam and Jacob made their way over to my family. We formed ranks. Carlisle stood in the front with me on his left and Esme on his right. Alice and Jasper were to my left and Rosalie and Emmet stood on Esme's right. The wolves moved slowly to stand behind Jacob and Sam.

"Carlisle, thank you for meeting us here." Sam held out his hand and Carlisle shook it formally. It was a gesture of peace.

"Of course, Sam. We are here to discuss boundaries, correct?"

"Yes, as you know there is a threat and we would like to arrange it so that we have the rights to protect the Swan Residence." I wanted to protest that we could do a better job but I let Carlisle handle it.

"Of course if you feel that you need to protect Bella yourselves," Carlisle glanced at Jacob when he said this. "Then by all means, you have that right. But, I ask you to consider that we may be more familiar with the enemy. It may be more beneficial if we could both patrol and protect Bella's house."

The wolves didn't seem particularly happy about this plan but they reluctantly agreed that it couldn't hurt. I was relieved to say the least. I would have gone crazy if I couldn't look out for Bella myself.

"There is one more thing…" Carlisle spoke seriously and the wolves came to full attention at his tone. "Victoria has gotten very creative. Alice has seen a vision of her and she has made a decision."

"A decision?" Sam asked sounding torn between dread and excitement.

"Yes she had created an army of newborns."

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Hope y'all liked it! Reviews are always appreciated!


	15. Whispers in the dark

AN- Yeah, I know this took forever when it was supposed to only take a couple days. I honestly didn't even feel like writing this when everyone hated my rewrite and nobody reviewed the last chapter. But never mind me. I'm just whining. Besides, the lemon was also difficult for me to write. I'm shy, sue me. So here goes...

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**EPOV **

"Newborns?" Jacob spoke for the first time and his voice was detached and businesslike. If I couldn't see into his mind I may have actually bought the act. But my mind showed me that deep down, Jacob was itching to phase and tear into us. It was his instinct but there was more to it than that. Specifically Bella. His mind kept flashing to Bella and what I saw caused me almost physical pain.

Bella lying on the forest floor where I'd left her. She was shivering and staring off into nothing. She seemed to be dead. I winced and brought a hand to my head trying to make it stop. Bella showing up at Jacob's with two motorcycles and circles under her numb eyes. The way she would smile at him and then seem surprised that she was happy. Bella with her arms wrapped around her middle at the mention of my name.

"Eddie?" Jacob's voice cut through the pain and abruptly the images vanished. I straightened up just realizing that I had been doubled over and saw that everyone was watching me with curiosity. Jacob's thoughts clicked and comprehension dawned on his features. A darkly amused smirk appeared. He laughed.

"What did you do to him?" Alice demanded taking a threatening step towards the treaty line. Jacob quirked an eyebrow but otherwise didn't react.

"Nothing really. Just remembering the early days."

"The early days?" Alice questioned still looking poised to attack.

"Forget it, Alice." I told her and gave Jacob a nod. It wasn't as if he had done anything wrong. He was just showing me the damage I had inflicted and he hadn't even been doing it intentionally. He rolled his eyes.

"Anyways, newborns? Army? On with it."

"Newborns are newly created vampires. They differ from us because their human blood still lingers in their bodies making them far stronger than the average vampire."

"So all those deaths in Seattle…?" Sam sounded horrified.

"Yes, but not all of them will be vampires. Most likely that's the work of the newborns that can't control their thirst. Currently there are fifteen of them but the number changes." Alice spoke matter-of-factly, as if seeing the future was completely normal. The wolves still looked intimidated by the large army but also oddly excited. What strange creatures…

**JPOV**

Okay…

There was an army of vampires coming to Forks. No, not just vampires but _newborns, _which apparently meant that they were even stronger than other vampires. Victoria had created them for her revenge so of course they could only be after one thing.

I cast a glance over my shoulder at Bella who was pulling up pieces of grass and chatting at Embry who wasn't paying any attention to her because he was listening to the leeches. Her soft brown hair was whipping around her face and her pale skin had an almost translucent glow. Her pretty pink lips were pulled into an absent half-smile that was devoid of any sadness. It made my heart burst. She was happy, _finally_! She was happy with me.

That brought on other thoughts of her pretty pink lips, like when they're pushed roughly against mine…

I heard Edward's sharp intake of breath and glanced up at him with only slight curiosity. He had that look of pain on his face again like when I had been thinking about Bella's dark days. Oh right, I had been thinking about the way Bella and I had totally made-out. _Twice! _Crazy. Even I could barely believe it and I had been an active participant. _I, Jacob Black, have made-out with Bella Swan on multiple occasions._

Edward composed himself but his eyes were still tortured. I felt a pang of sympathy for the guy but then I remembered that he had left her. Not the other way around. So why was he back anyways? And why did he care that I kissed Bella? My eyes narrowed in suspicion as Sam and the Cullens discussed meeting during the week for training.

_Uhg, training_. Play-fighting with the leeches and not being allowed to kill or even main any of them. This was going to be hell but we could use all the help we could get, especially if it meant keeping Bella that much safer.

After what seemed like years we said our goodbyes to the vampires and headed in opposite directions. I found Bella entirely too comfortable against Embry's side and decided it had been too long since I'd kissed her.

"Hey, Bells." I was sure I looked like an idiot with the grin plastered on my face but nothing, not even the threat of an army could ruin this night. I dreaded telling her though, she'd freak and overreact as usual.

"Hey Jake." She sounded shy and I could see the faint blush on her cheeks. I offered her my hand and pulled her to her feet and straight into my arms. I brought my face to hers slowly, savoring the anticipation. I didn't get to savor it for long though because she stretched onto her tiptoes to meet me. I grinned against her lips.

Her lips were soft and yielding as they moved slowly with mine. I tried to follow her lead because this whole kissing thing was new for me but I was catching on quick. I let my hands wander over her sides, learning the curves of her. I wanted to slip my hand under her shirt and feel the soft skin of her stomach. Then I remembered where we were and slowly broke the kiss to lean my forehead against hers.

"You ready to head back?" I asked her, pleased to note that her eyes had a distant, glazed look to them.

"Yeah, I'm kind of tired." She looked tired and I knew it was my fault. I probably shouldn't have let her come to the meeting tonight but I didn't have it in me to tell her no. Besides, who was I to tell her what she could do? Especially when it's something concerning her life.

We walked back to Forks at a slow pace. Bella tripped a lot and eventually I just carried her until we got out of the woods and found her truck. We drove back to her house and I prayed that we wouldn't wake Charlie. I wanted him to like me, especially now that Bella and I were dating. _Wait, are we dating? _I felt excitement race through me at the idea but I didn't want to put a label on something if Bella didn't want that.

"Bella?" I asked realizing that she had gone suspiciously quiet. She was slumped against the window and when I listened closely I could hear her steady breaths and heartbeat. She was asleep. Tenderness swelled up inside me and I felt even more protective than usual. I wanted to hold her again but it was late and she needed sleep. Hopefully I'd at least get a good night kiss.

"Bells honey?" I shook her gently until she woke up and her pretty brown eyes focused on me. She stretched like a cat and sat up. "I fell asleep."

"I noticed." I barely kept the amusement out of my voice. "You should head in, we'll talk tomorrow after you've gotten some rest."

"Will you stay? Just for a little while?" My body went stiff as possibilities ran through my hormonal teenage mind. We'd been in the same bed before but never like this. Would we kiss before we fell asleep? Would we make out…horizontally? Oh God, we'd be able to be so much closer that way. My heart started beating wildly but Bella took my silence as hesitation.

"Just for a little while, Jake? A couple of hours ago I thought I'd lost you forever and I don't want you to go yet." She reached out for my hand when she said it and her touch set my skin on fire.

"Of course, I'll stay Bella. As long as you want me."

"I'll always want you Jake." That was all I could take. I reached out and pulled her into a kiss that was sweet and short but only because Bella yawned making me laugh. We snuck upstairs quietly and I wondered if Bella could hear my pounding heart. It certainly seemed loud enough to me.

Bella grabbed some pajamas and went to change so I slipped off my shoes and sat down awkwardly on her bed to wait. Nerves and uncertainty were waging with my excitement. What did she expect of me? Was all of this new to her too? I decided to let her take the lead; it was the safest route.

When she returned and moved surprisingly gracefully to the bed I felt my nerves evaporate under the usual comfort I felt in her presence. I had missed her lately. It felt like we were always at odds lately or in life-threatening situations. We could never have _us_ time anymore and I missed it like hell.

Bella stood in front of the bed looking as nervous as I had felt. I scooted over so there was room and held out my arms.

"C'mere Bells." My voice sounded huskier than usual and she didn't hesitate as she slid in beside me. My arms went around her naturally and I pulled her full length against me. It was like everything inside of me clicked into place and all of the problems with the pack and the vampires faded into the background. I buried my face in her hair basking in the sensation, basking in her.

I don't know how long we stayed like that but eventually Bella's quiet voice broke the silence and it was tinged with slight annoyance.

"Jake are you ever going to kiss me?" All of the heat from earlier had faded into a warm glow but it was back now full force at her words.

**BPOV**

Being held against the raw heat emanating off of Jacob felt so good. His skin was soft over his hard chest and abdomen. His arms constricted around me made me feel safe and loved. I could so easily get used to this.

I asked him to kiss me before I could censor myself and his body tensed. I was blushing but I hoped he wouldn't be able to see it in the dark. He lowered his face to mine cautiously and kissed me just as carefully. It was nice but it wasn't what I had wanted. I wanted what we had on the beach. Fire. Passion. I sighed into his mouth and let my hands trail up his chest making him shiver to twine around his neck.

I pulled him down harder and tried to convey that I wanted the kiss to deepen but this kind of kissing was new to me. Fortunately, Jake is very perceptive. He tilted his head for a better angle and our lips began moving roughly against each other. This kind of kissing left me breathless and made my heart stuttered wildly in my chest.

Still, there was something missing. Jake's hands were practically welded to my waist, his body held away from mine. I was making all the moves and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little annoyed.

"Jake?" I whispered, breaking the kiss for a moment.

"Yeah, Bella?" I felt a little better when I heard that his voice was husky and strained.

"Is there something wrong?"

"No, of course not. What could possibly be wrong right now?" I smiled at that even thought he couldn't see me. Jake was just so endearingly sincere.

"It's just…I don't know, never mind." I rolled away from him, embarrassed and unsatisfied with the conversation.

"No Bells, tell me what's wrong, what to do to fix it." He was nervous and I instantly felt bad for making him feel that way. I turned so I was facing his again and touched his cheek.

"It's stupid. I just feel like you're holding back with me. When we were on the beach yesterday and we were kissing…" I trailed off feeling my face heat up. Why couldn't I learn to just keep my mouth shut?

"Yeah…?" He prodded.

"It was different and I was wondering why it's not like that anymore…" I closed my eyes despite the fact that we were in the dark. It was silent for a minute and Jacob was completely still. Then, a sound between a growl and a groan escaped him right before all rational thought escaped me.

Jacob pushed me onto my back and laid on top of me. The pressure was amazing as his weight pressed me into the mattress. This was the closest we had ever been. Our bodies were completely pushed together and I could feel every inch of him. This time we both groaned. His lips weren't cautious now as they practically attacked mine, moving in a frenzied rhythm. His hands, which had previously been stationed on my hips, now roamed caressing my skin and slipping under my shirt to stroke my stomach. I let out a barely audible whimper but of course Jacob heard it and he responded by slipping his tongue into my mouth.

This was also new to me but I caught on quickly and soon our tongues were dancing and sliding hotly against each other making us both crazy.

"Bella," Jake whispered as he trailed his lips down my jaw and then pressed open-mouthed kisses down my neck.

"Jacob," It came out as more of a gasp and I remembered that he liked it when I said his name. "Jake…"

His hands were tracing my ribs and he was kissing my collarbone, making my shiver. He was getting dangerously close to my chest and I was too dazed to care. As his hands inches their way upward little by little he moved so he could look me in the eye, waiting for my reaction. I didn't say anything and the only sound was our ragged breaths and the rustle of fabric as his hand moved upward. Just as they brushed the underside of my breast, I gasped and sat up, knocking Jacob sideways.

"Bella?" He questioned but I didn't want to talk. I swung one of my legs to the other side of him making him groan and then leaned down so our mouths could meet again. As we kissed I decided it was my turn to explore.

My hand moved down his arms, testing the muscle I found there. I mimicked what he did with his mouth and began kissing his neck before moving to his ear, making him shudder. I traced each muscle on his abdomen making them contract under my touch before moving my hands to his chest and tracing his pectorals. Jacob was making choked noises of pleasure that made me feel powerful. I hesitantly traced his nipple wondering if I was crossing any lines but too curious to resist. Apparently, I wasn't.

"Fair's fair." Jacob's voice barely resembled Jacob anymore. It was husky and strained like he was in the best kind of pain. I was about to ask what he meant but his hands came up and cupped my breasts through my shirt. My gasp of surprise turned into one of pleasure. His hands were so big and hot and…oh. He started molding them in his hands and his thumb brushed the tips sending pleasure singing through my body.

Jake shifted so he could have better access and his thigh accidently slid between my legs creating the best friction I had ever experienced. The moan escaped my lips before I could stop it. Jake pause and his entire body froze as he realized what had just happened.

**JPOV**

Bella Swan was startling my thigh. _And moaning_. I took in a big lungful of air and I could smell her arousal heavier than just a moment before. Oh God, oh God, oh God. My jeans were so tight now it was painful and I didn't know what I was supposed to do now. I knew what I wanted to do but what if she got mad and oh God, oh God.

Making up my mind quickly, I flipped us over again so Bella was underneath me. I would give her something better than my thigh. I pushed her thighs apart and wedged myself between them feeling excitement raging through me. I prayed she would like it as I practically shoved my hips into hers. I groaned loudly, I couldn't help it, it just felt _so fucking good_.

My groan had muffled hers but I _had_ heard it. She had moaned. She liked it. Triumph swelled up inside me as I began rocking my hips against Bella's. I bent my face down so I could thrust my tongue into her mouth in time with the thrust of my hips. She shifted so she could lift her legs over my hips and the new angle made it easier to push against her.

"Jake," When she moaned my name I felt sweat break out on my skin and I pumped faster. Denim hitting cotton.

"Fuck," I muttered feeling myself getting close to losing it. I was afraid I'd be done before Bella. I lifted one hand and slipped it under her shirt and shoved her bra up so I could touch her skin. I massaged roughly and played with her nipple making her breathing become shallow gasps.

Bella's hands in my hair tightened and her eyes squeezed shut as trembled overtook her small frame. I watched her, cherishing every moment as I continued to push my hips against hers. _I can't believer this is happening_! I was making the girl of my dreams orgasm. That thought sent me over the edge with her and I saw stars as my body was overcome with pleasure.

I collapsed on top of her hoping she wasn't crushed. Our panting and thudding hearts were the only sounds to be heard. I buried my face in Bella's hair feeling so ridiculously happy. I was having trouble believe that Bella and I had actually just done what did. But the sweaty girl underneath me was proof of it.

I wanted this. Not just for tonight. Not just for a while. I wanted this forever. I wanted to be able to lose myself with Bella and hold her in my arms whenever I wanted. I'd never let this go; I'd never let_ her_ go. Now that the future I had always dreamed of was within my grasp I couldn't imagine it any other way.

I rolled off of Bella and pulled her back against my chest. I was staying tonight. It would be impossible for me to leave now. I'd miss her too much.

"Mmm, Jake." She whispered sleepily sounding happy and satisfied. I couldn't help but feel some male pride at that. "Love you."

I inhaled sharply. She loved me. I knew that but hearing her say it was…indescribable. All the fight and defensiveness that had been a part of me since I'd turned into a wolf seemed to ebb out of me and I felt like my old self again. I relaxed against her with a shit-eating grin on my face.

"I love you too, Bells."

But she was already asleep, curled against my side. Exactly where she was meant to be.

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I know, I know. It wasn't a whole lemon! Don;t hate me, there will be one eventually. But also this fic is going to be ending soon. I've started another story called Telling Secrets and it's taking up a lot of my time so I apologize. Go check it out though!


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